August 4, 2010 4:12 PM Subscribe
When is it reasonable to expect exclusivity in the online dating community?
posted by anonymous to human relations (19 answers total) 8 users marked this as a favorite
I'm a 28-year-old single woman who has been using JDate on and off for nearly 2 years with little success. I've gone on several first, second, and third dates, praying for an ounce of chemistry to no avail. After the unsuccessful dates, I'd log back in to see what other options were out there for me.
I didn't realize my actions had harmful consequences until one of these dates sent me a nasty email about how rude it was for me to log into JDate the same evening of our first date. I felt bad, but there was no point in me leading anyone on if I wasn't interested. Fast forward 6 months, and now I have a whole new level of empathy for the gentleman who sent me the nasty email...
I have been talking to someone over the past few weeks that I actual like. We have gone on two great dates- both lasting until the wee hours of the morning and ending with physical contact (nothing below the belt, though). I finally felt the chemistry that I have been longing for, but with that chemistry comes inevitable vulnerability. While I don't expect to be exclusive with anyone after 2 dates, it bothered me to see this man logging into JDate several times after our wonderful dates. Both of us have every right to continue browsing, but it leaves me feeling disposable.
When is it reasonable to expect that two people should no longer frequently browse the JDate profiles while dating one another?