Will he still find me desirable?
August 3, 2010 8:40 PM Subscribe
Last week I was diagnosed with herpes. Will my boyfriend be attracted to me again?
posted by anonymous to Human Relations (17 answers total)
Last week I went to the doctor to check out what I thought was an allergic reaction and turned out to be genital herpes. I started crying, and all the rest. I went straight home to my boyfriend of 6 months (we live together too... we've no interest in "normal" timelines) and he asked immediately what the doctor had said. I told him well, there's no way to know who brought it in or whatever, but, we have herpes.
The doctor had explained it to me that since we've been in contact, no matter what, we both have it. I hesitate to put more stock in what I find online than what an actual doctor told me, but what I've been reading seems to say that unless there was sex during an active outbreak, the "unaffected" partner may remain so.
But, like I said, I don't know who had it first. It strikes me as odd that after 10 or so years of being sexually active I would suddenly experience my first outbreak, but he's never had one, but he could be asymptomatic, blah blah blah.
None of this is the issue - he responded in the very best way I could have hoped for and has been nothing but caring and sweet and helpful. I'm still on the anti-viral meds and am already feeling loads better, and that's all well and good.
My question to those of you who have been on either side of this - whether you were the "victim" or the partner of one - was it hard to find your partner attractive again? I personally would feel grossed out by me and scared to touch me ever again. I really hope that's not the case, and I don't get the feeling that it is, but I want to know if anyone's got any tips or suggestions for cresting that hill (when the time comes, obviously, I've got about a week or so until I'll remotely feel like we're in the clear).
Also, I'm not looking for any "he cheated" or "did you cheat" type of stuff. We live in each others' pockets and that is in no way an issue here. :)
I know this is a sensitive topic so I thank you in advance for answering.
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