Join 3,375 readers in helping fund MetaFilter (Hide)


Where to find welcoming BDSM, femdom, cuckold Social Events in NYC for newbies?
July 25, 2010 9:13 PM   Subscribe

Where to find welcoming BDSM, femdom, cuckold Social Events in NYC for newbies?

I've been recently exploring alternative lifestyles and having difficulty finding real people with these interests. It seems there are lots of online resources but even after putting in a lot of energy I can't seem to connect to real live people. Its nearly all spam!

There must be real private parties out there for bdsm, femdom, cuckold interested people.

I know about http://www.tes.org and paddles and will join in there but prefer something more intimate.

I'm thinking of even starting my own private party.

Here is my throwaway email bcuzitshot@hushmail.com.
posted by anonymous to Human Relations (3 answers total) 1 user marked this as a favorite
 
fetlife.com is worth checking out
posted by parmanparman at 9:22 PM on July 25, 2010


There is a People from Metafilter on fetlife group! So yes, join fetlife.

Go to the TES educational groups/presentations, not just the parties, and make friends. There is one a week or so. Some are specifically geared towards female dominants/male submissives.

You should be able to meet a few friendly people. I know a few male submissives and switches who will answer your questions. They can give you personal recommendations and introdutions. This is, in my opinion, a much better way for a male submissive to get into the NYC scene than simply showing up at a play party or at Paddles. I am a dominant woman and Paddles is absolutely crawling with submissive men who I don't know and whom I often won't see again (very frustrating). It's easier for me to meet submissives in non-sexual settings and on equal footing, and then arrange to play if they interest me.

Another reason that I suggest watching and learning from established submissive men is that the approaches I get tend to be misguided in a very specific and obnoxious way. I don't know who is putting out information about how you should approach a dom. Maybe there is an awful book?

Either way, some hints: don't touch someone without asking. Even if you want to rub her feet and allegedly we all love that--no. Ask before you touch. We're not likely to meet you and immediately become Porno Dom. Try to find out what activities we would BOTH like so that the encounter can be mutually pleasurable, instead of something we're doing as a service. It's polite to introduce yourself before asking someone to interrupt what they're doing to fulfill your fetish.

But you can learn much more than this from a submissive male.

I hear good things from male submissive friends about ClubFem but have no personal experience with it, and I believe that you need an introduction.

Best of luck!
posted by internet fraud detective squad, station number 9 at 10:29 PM on July 25, 2010


Here is the direct link to the MeFite group on fetlife.
posted by Forktine at 6:11 AM on July 26, 2010


« Older Do I have to tell him now? (ns...   |  How suitable is an induction-t... Newer »
This thread is closed to new comments.