The invisible std monster strikes
July 25, 2010 9:08 PM Subscribe
Do I have to tell him now? (nsfw)
posted by anonymous to health & fitness (41 answers total)
My doctor just told me my pap smear came back slightly irregular, and went on to say that in most cases this sort of thing clears up on its own in a year or so. He didn't tell me it was from HPV, which is what I found out online - most probable cause for these abnormalities. So in all likelihood, I have HPV.
Looking up info online, I see that this is an exceptionally common kind of sti, and that this particular kind I have has no externally visible symptoms. Where I live, STD testing is only done for chlamydia and gonorrhoea... they don't test for HPV in men, and women just get the pap smear. So the only way to be diagnosed is to find out at my annual physical. I have to go back for regular re-testing to monitor it and hopefully it will go back to normal within a year or two.
So my problem is that I'm dating someone exclusively in a new relationship... but we're currently in a long-distance relationship for a few months. There's something about us together that says to me we will be together for a very long time, but we're still getting to know eachother and it's slow-going while we're long-distance. Last time we saw each other, we had unprotected sex - I'm on birth control and we thought we were clean.
I don't know what I should do, or how serious this is... the fact my doctor didn't care to mention it was related to HPV is downgrading the seriousness of it and I can't get a good measure of things. I read that I can't get reinfected from the same strain once it clears up, so in a monogamous relationship this problem is very likely to go away on its own... is there any point to requiring that we revert to condoms between the two of us in a monogamous relationship?
The responsible thing is obviously to tell him right away... but that's a very uncomfortable thing to do in my situation. I really don't feel like this is something I can just bring up with the boyfriend while we're in a LDR, and we only get to text infrequently, have the odd phone call or when I'm home visiting once a month - needs to be at a time when we're together and can talk, and get over any awkwardness that ensues. I have no idea how to proceed with this either.