Oral sex - how risky is low-risk?
July 22, 2010 6:26 AM Subscribe
Unprotected oral sex outside my relationship: is this risky enough to warrant a confession?
posted by anonymous to Human Relations (26 answers total)
I'm a guy in my late 20s, and in a long-term relationship with another guy. We both got tested for STDs and stopped using condoms for anal sex when it was clear we were both STD-free.
This week I met up with a stranger twice and gave him oral sex, without a condom. He came in my mouth three times.
I know I have put my STD-free status at risk by doing this. Now I'm starting to wonder to what extent. I didn't have any particular lesions in my mouth at the time of giving the oral sex. The guy was a stranger, early 20s, Tunisian, and I have no idea about his STD status, so I can only speculate, but he seemed like the type that would normally have sex with women, and would not receive anal sex from men (and of course even if this is true, I know he can still have STDs). He did suggest that he could have anal sex with me (to which I said no) and I don't know if he had a condom with him, so there is a chance he has previously topped another guy bareback.
I will see my partner again in a couple of weeks. Should I confess to him, and suggest we go back onto condoms again until I get tested and have a clean bill of health? Or is the risk of infection so small that it is not worth the damage this could do to the relationship? I know he would be really hurt to think that I have been with someone else, even in a casual way like this.
In the meantime I will get an appointment with a sexual health clinic, but I may not be able to see them before I see my boyfriend. I'm worried about this and I'd really appreciate any advice. Many thanks.