Sorry, your friend's not hot enough.
July 12, 2010 9:49 PM Subscribe
How do I deal with people pushing blind dates, when love is not (for the moment) blind?
posted by anonymous to Human Relations (15 answers total) 3 users marked this as a favorite
My last relationship (which was a long and serious one) ended a little over a year ago. I've been living like a nun ever since. Lately, I've been feeling ready to date again, which is great! I'm excited! But how do I deal with people trying to set me up with their "but he has such a great personality!" friends?
I'm not even going to pretend this isn't shallow: I'm exclusively looking for very attractive guys right now. A great personality would be nice, but that's not my priority at the moment. I'm a reasonably good-looking woman in my early 20s who didn't have trouble attracting guys I found cute before this year of celibacy, and I just want to break my dry spell with someone I'm overwhelmingly physically attracted to. I've gone a year without sex, and I don't have a problem with waiting a little longer to find someone I'm really psyched about staring at/making out with right off the bat.
My close friends get this, but I guess I've started releasing some sort of old maid pheromone (smells like cat dander and brandy?) and I've started to have family and more distant acquaintances pushing me toward guys who I'm sure are very nice but who don't do anything for me visually. I mean, to the point where they're setting up meetings without me explicitly saying I'm interested. How do I dissuade this without offending anyone? I know they just mean well, and if I were trying to set someone up with some awesome friend of mine, I'd be hurt to hear that my friend wasn't good-looking enough. Is it less rude to go through with a date, even when I know (really, I know) that it won't go anywhere (thanks, Facebook photos!)? Do I need to give a Wet Hot American Summer-style "That's where my priorities are right now" speech? I know that there are plenty of virtues in being less shallow, but assume that's off the table for now.
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