Help for a wayward gay?
July 6, 2010 8:46 AM Subscribe
A friend of mine, who cultivates an image as a mensch, is really a charlatan. He will do anything to be in favor, even if it means betraying his true nature: a gay man who is afraid of ridicule and exile. He moved to a very gay friendly city and his family followed him, to his misfortune. He is relying on me, his best open-minded friend, to set things right. I need some help.
posted by anonymous to Grab Bag (13 answers total) 1 user marked this as a favorite
I am a declared bisexual and have been with female and male lovers. I prefer women because they are more likely to relate to and enjoy the experience, whereas men tend to be interested in a narcissistic enjoyment. My friend has told me on several occasions that he would like to be my 'slave'. I use the term lightly because I have no interest in keeping the fellow. He is so worried about his social appeal to a handful of women who care for him that he will do anything and everything to maintain his status. I want to make him understand that there is a world for him to discover that is more worth his while and flavor. He is obviously desperate for release as he tells me so.
Next week, we are going on a road trip where I am supposed to act as a kind of avatar to his longing. I am not interested in doing this. I only want him to experience the opportunity of confidently bringing his true self forward. He must know the experience of humility and possibility on a human scale. I fear for the lives of those who cannot fathom their own rejection.
What worries me is that this man will reject himself and become more bitter. His work at being must be wholehearted and honest. I am working to make him see that he must no longer lie and must no longer pretend his conscience.
I am seeking places north of San Francisco that I could take him for a full experience of GLBT club/bar life. If anyone can help I would greatly appreciate it.