How to tell my boyfriend that he gave me herpes
June 10, 2010 1:17 PM Subscribe
I got genital herpes from my boyfriend. How should I tell him about this without making him feel guilty? And what should I do now?
posted by dustoff to Human Relations (47 answers total) 2 users marked this as a favorite
Of course I am concerned about this virus, but not enough to let it affect our relationship. He was a little late about telling me that he had HSV, and he was humiliated and mortified. He felt extremely guilty. And also he told me that if he ever gave me the virus, he would have to apologize for the rest of his life and he'll never let that happen. Not only that, he recently just got over with feeling guilty about even dating me. (He is a lot older than me, and he used to think that he was taking my youth away.) But I decided to take the risk. He doesn't know that the virus can still be transmitted even when it's not active. But I already knew it, and I knew I was probably going to get it some time. Just hoped that I would be the asymptomatic one. But turns not that's not the case. I want to let him know about this without making him feel bad!... It's been about a week since the first breakout, and it's not so bad. I don't know when it's going to completely heal, but I'm thinking probably another week. A little bit annoying but hardly noticeable. But of course I notice it during intercourse and that's why I really need to tell him. How should I tell him?
And do I need to go get tested and confirmed for HSV? I'm not sure if it's type 1 or 2, but I'm pretty sure it's the type 2. I'm going to see how often and how severe my breakouts are going to be, and if it's pretty bad then I'm definitely going to go see a doctor and get some anti-viral drugs prescribed. But if it isn't that bad, should I still go see a doctor? And can I give my boyfriend oral herpes?