June 5, 2010 9:11 PM Subscribe
dating filter: (1) What are the best, most direct, yet polite questions to ask someone during the email stage of online dating in order to get a real sense of who they are? Any suggestions? (2) How do you still come off as fun and cool on a first or second date, even though you opt for the iced tea instead of a glass of wine? (some nights i just don't want to drink)
posted by dmbfan93 to human relations (35 answers total) 24 users marked this as a favorite
I'm on the dating treadmill and I'm losing stamina. I meet a man either in person or online and we may converse through email or a more structured setting like eharmony and those interactions often lead to dates. The issue is not so much the picture as I haven't had too many dates with men who did no tressemble their picture. My issue is that I need to come up with a system to filter out the individuals that I'm just not compatible with and need to ask the right questions to garner the information I need to determine compatibility and preferably would like to do it during the email or phone conversation phase before actually getting together.
One more dating question while I'm at it. One thing I don't like about dating is the feeling that you have to have an alcoholic drink when you meet for drinks. Am I just being silly - its important to convey to your date that you're a fun person, and having drinks is a fun thing to do, but if I have three dates in one week, that means I could be drinking one or two at each date, hence six drinks. Some nights I just don't want to drink. Please give me a few suggestions on how to not blow a date with a nice, attractive man who wants to have a beer together, by saying something silly like, oh I don't feel like drinking tonight, I'm going to have a iced tea. my fear is he'll take it as (1) I'm either not interested in him, (2) a teetoller or (3) not fun.
apologies in advance for the inane dating questions, but I would really appreciate some insight. thanks.