How to become as Asker?
May 18, 2010 5:20 PM Subscribe
How can I change from being a Guesser to an Asker?
posted by anonymous to Human Relations (17 answers total) 55 users marked this as a favorite
I'm writing this anonymously because my profile is known to my friends and I can't wait long enough for my new profile to mature so I can ask this question...
I am a chronic Guesser. From a career point of view, my strategy has been to quietly work hard and hope that someone notices. Up til this point, it has worked well enough, but I've plateaued career-wise, and as a freelancer, I can't even bring myself to venture out to find new work because I've regressed so entirely into Guess-land. Furthermore, I've been trying to switch careers, and my regular employer, who has been great with noticing my work, has no idea. He has the ability to help me change jobs (same industry, different work) and may well help me out, but the idea that he might say no has paralysed me. How can I learn to be ok with failure?
The career thing is only really one example of Guessing getting me down. This Guesser approach to life in general, coupled with some depression issues, is extremely inhibitive to me getting stuff done. And I've found myself getting more sensitive and offended by little things because I think people should "know better." I think I would ruminate and fixate less if I could acquire some Asker skills. Are there any techniques you might suggest?