Too old for this.

May 18, 2010 12:21 PM

This is my second semester back after a 4 year “break”. I’ll be 30 very soon and really want to earn my degree. I really enjoy the classes and the discussions on the readings. When it comes to writing the papers I completely shut down. I always underestimate the difficulty of a task and the amount of time it will take to complete. It’s not that I forget. I do a lot of thinking about the paper and the topics – in my head. I have never in my entire life, completed anything before it was due. I have never written a draft. Now that the assignments are for more than 5 pages I am really struggling. I’m drinking way more caffeine, smoking more, sleeping less, completely discombobulated. My grades have been good – when I hand in the work.

I am very concerned that I am just not cut out for this. People with kids go back to school and take a full load on top of a full time job and get all A’s. I don’t have any kids and am only taking 2 courses at a time. The topics being discussed are not difficult to understand and I find them very interesting. I quit school the first time around for the same reasons. I am feeling horrible about my self and my ability to accomplish things that are important to me. It is already difficult enough to do the things that I am not interested in but need to do. School was supposed to be different because I actually wanted to do it.

Is there some way to learn how to be a planner, a do-a-header? How do I break these awful stressful habits? As you can imagine this has created a lot of anxiety and I know it is completely my fault and I should be able to control it. I would be very interested in hearing some “been there, done that” type of responses where people have overcome a getting shit done right rut.

posted by mokeydraws to education (25 answers total)

Does anything in this thread sound familiar?

As for writing papers, try this: take five minutes, ten minutes tops. Start writing stream-of-consciousness about the topic. Literally - don't even make complete sentences if you don't feel like it. It should look like this:

"Abraham Lincoln was a pretty cool guy. Something about log cabins, lawyers, Civil war, yeah. He helped keep the US from falling apart."

And so on. Then just set it aside. When you come back to it, just expand on what you have:

"Abraham Lincoln was one of the most influential presidents. He grew up in a log cabin. He became a lawyer and practiced in Illinois. He was president during the Civil War. His leadership helped the US make it through the Civil War without breaking apart for good."

Keep doing that until you have a paper. I have much the same procrastination problem and this is literally the only way I can make myself write something I don't feel like writing.
posted by restless_nomad at 12:29 PM on May 18, 2010 [8 favorites]

dude, i'm just guessing because you sound a lot like me, that there's two things freaking you out--and they're related.

1 - the blank page/page count intimidates you. the way i combat this is to start writing, even if it's just notes or fragments you'll use later, start writing the day you get the assignment. freewrite or take notes or whatever, just make sure you don't end the day with a blank page.

2- the papers are obviously important to you and you're freaking out that they have to be perfect to the point that you're not writing them. again, you just gotta start writing. there's time to get it all perfect, but for now just get it done!

you gotta fight these two impulses to freak out and it's basically practice makes perfect.
posted by johnnybeggs at 12:38 PM on May 18, 2010

As soon as you get an assignment, start brainstorming, like restless_nomad suggests. Brainstorming's hard; after you get an idea that makes you think, "I could think hard about this one topic for X pages," put your brainstorming away for a day or so.

Next step is an outline. Don't skip your outline: it'll save your life. I start out with a really bare-bones one, like:
1. Intro (I quite literally just write "Intro" here until I have a good idea of my overarching argument)
2. Point 1 (here, I start organizing the ideas I came up with when brainstorming)
3. Point 2
4. Point 3
5. Conclusion (same as Intro at this point)

Once I have that typed into a Word document, I start pulling sources. If I'm using literature, I type quotations (and any notes I have about the quotations) as sub-bullet points, like:

2. Point 1
2a. So-and-so says, "XYZ" (page#)
2a1: This means (whatever)
2b. John Doe says, "Blah blah blah" (page#)
2b1: This is similar to page Y, where he says "Blah blah blah blah."

If I'm writing a paper that's not about literature, I do the same process, but with (well-cited) facts instead of quotations.

At this point, you have the body of your paper mostly thought out, and with your citations handily within your outline. This is almost a paper! Put it away for a day, come back to it, and you'll be able to synthesize your argument enough to start pulling together thoughts for your introduction/thesis statement. Then? You just write. Your major ideas should all be there already, so it's mostly just wordsmithing.

Give yourself a deadline of a day or two before the paper is actually due-- you will make typos or repeat yourself unintentionally, and if you don't give yourself a day to edit, you'll notice your errors when you get your paper back and feel really stupid.
posted by oinopaponton at 12:55 PM on May 18, 2010 [4 favorites]

Are you only taking the two courses, or do you have other things to do (job, hobbies)? Are you writing papers at home, library? Finals week in undergrad was always a haze of little sleep, cigarettes, and too much coffee. Part of my problem was that I had too much free time, and that I was trying to write papers at home.

I did better when I was busier. I did better when I went to the library to hand write notes and drafts. I can't be near the internet, so I shut off the wifi card on my laptop when it was needed for paper writing. I always wrote the intro last, it writes itself if the body is done. But the most effective way was typing out my handwritten notes and cites, and ordering them in a blank document, didn't even need an outline if my notes were good enough.

Also, chill. Take some small naps. Walk around the block. Just write anything, then look back at it after one of those naps/walks. Its better than the blank screen. And if you're making it to lecture, caught up on the reading, and understanding the topics, don't be so harsh on yourself. That's most of the paper-writing battle.
posted by shinyshiny at 12:58 PM on May 18, 2010

Back in the day I used to have paper problems. I solved them by doing something I would have never thought of if I hadn't stumbled across it. I used to stay up late into the night writing papers until I found that I got a lot more done in a lot less time if I set my alarm early and did the writing in the morning hours. I am not a morning person by default.

Johnnybeggs is right: Just start writing. I have a friend that begins writing a paper by first writing about something completely off topic. You just have to wet the pen. Keep in mind that it is the effort your professors are most interested in. Your question was cogent... I'd be willing to bet that what you feel is mediocre effort when compared to your younger classmates is above average.

If it makes you feel better, even towards the end of my college work when I was writing 20+ page papers I was never a 'drafter.' My preferred method was to write a paragraph, read over it until I was satisfied with it, devote a moment to acknowledge how it was going to connect to the subsequent paragraph, and then forget that paragraph. Sometimes I would read the paper at the end, but usually only if I suspected repetition therein.

Also, remember to save your previously written papers. There were more than a couple instances in college where I was able to use the same paper for multiple classes without much additional effort.

You aren't too old for school. You just need to find the right method to knock out your writing. If you enjoy the subject matter then hang in there. How many papers have I written since graduating? Um... zero.
posted by Gainesvillain at 1:01 PM on May 18, 2010

You know, it sounds like you're a good student keen on your coursework, but you're getting freaked out about the overall situation because you're struggling with the essays.

The ability to write essays is a skill. It is, apparently, a skill you currently do not have but it is a skill you can acquire. Your college or university should have remedial support or peer tutoring available. It can be tremendously helpful to sit down with someone to learn how to plan, draft and complete a task of this nature.

But it's just a task. You don't know how to do it right now, but like riding a bike or cooking a meal, you can learn.
posted by DarlingBri at 1:11 PM on May 18, 2010

I returned to college after a 10 year break when I was 27. Writing papers has probably been the most trying thing for me to do -- being both a master procrastinator and the sort who would vastly overthink everything dealing with the paper itself -- and I've also never written a draft. For the first couple years after going back, the only way I could write papers was to get very drunk and just start typing whatever came to mind on the topic with the knowledge that I can easily piece together a bunch of mis-matched paragraphs into something cohesive. Well, I decided to cut back on drinking at the start of this year, and was delighted to find that this strategy also works sober, too.

So, yes, what works for me: while ruminating on the topic, just write out all the rambly shit that comes to mind. Then, come back to it in a day or a few hours or something and reorganize it and clean it up. A blank page is a daunting thing, just putting some words on it, even if they aren't very organized, specific, or useful, can still be helpful. Most of the beginnings of my papers consist of pages of "Indications of segregation in parent teacher organizations in the Boston are something something" and "Write something about Lisa Delpit's observations of communication across cultures here!"

I still have trouble not writing papers the night before they're due, so I've been trying to get the rambling out in small bursts over the whole period during which I have to write the paper so that by the time it is the day before the paper is due, the main points are already written out, however unintelligibly, just leaving me with having to clean everything up, figure out what paragraphs belong where, and come up with decent transitions from one paragraph to the next.

I suppose this doesn't really help one become a planner, but it will help break up writing papers.
posted by The Great Big Mulp at 1:17 PM on May 18, 2010

I had very similar problems my first try. I just couldn't seem to get my work done and ended up leaving after a couple of years. I am now 3 years or so into my second try (after a 4 year break) and am doing much better. The secret for me is being very, very busy. I work full time and take a full course load, which simply doesn't leave time to procrastinate. It has forced me to really manage my time and stick to the schedule that I set out for the week. Apparently I just need a lot of structure in order to focus and get everything done. Give me a nice, easy schedule for a week and I will be scrambling to finish assignments at the last minute.

So, you might try taking more classes (or working, volunteering, etc.) so that you are forced to manage your time better or setting up a schedule where you do homework at a set time every day. Even if it is just sitting in front of the computer staring at a blank screen, you will at least be thinking about the assignment.

As far as the paper writing goes, I have found that making very rough outline before I actually start writing helps a lot. If I sit down in front of a blank page I totally freeze up, but having even a few fragments to start building paragraphs around completely changes things. When you "do a lot of thinking about the paper and the topics – in my head," just jot down the ideas you have. Then, when you sit down to write the paper, you can enter those ideas as your outline.

Best of luck!
posted by isnotarobot at 1:23 PM on May 18, 2010

If your university has a Writing Center (which it should), do the following:

1. As soon as you get your assignment, make three (3) appointments with a Writing Center tutor, each within a day or two of the other.
2. Spend your first appointment going over your assignment, deciding on a topic, brainstorming, and writing an outline.
3. Bring a rough draft to your second appointment. Go over revisions with your tutor.
4. Bring your final draft to your third and final appointment. This is pretty much polish time.

This works best if you make all three appointments with the same tutor, so you build a rapport. It will keep you on track, and you'll have someone else there to help guide you along the way.

Keep in mind that sometimes, Writing Center appointments fill up incredibly fast during paper-writing time. When you get your syllabus for your class at the start of the semester, go ahead and figure out when your papers will be due, and set up your appointments in advance for the semester.
posted by litnerd at 1:27 PM on May 18, 2010 [3 favorites]

If the blank page/screen is part of the problem, you can LITERALLY type at the top, "I have to write a paper. I'm going to start writing it. Now I have some words so my screen isn't quite so blank. So here I go:"

I've tutored writing on and off since I was 16 years old and you would not BELIEVE how many people that stupid little trick helps. (otherwise, oinopapaton's advice is great, similar to the method I teach.)

Many students who have trouble getting started find it easier if they do their brainstorming by hand on a yellow pad or whatever. Then you use some method of grouping the ideas together that go together -- number all the ideas that go with point 1 as "1", all the ideas that go with point 2 as "2"; or circle them in different colors; or put stars and hearts next to them; or draw connecting lines all over the page, doesn't matter -- and start typing those groups onto the screen to create a bare-bones, super-basic outline. I think having a page of scrawls to look at makes you feel like you've really DONE something, when it seems overwhelming. I also don't like to brainstorm in front of the computer, I get too distracted too easily.
posted by Eyebrows McGee at 1:34 PM on May 18, 2010

I've always been a freakishly organized person, though a procrastinator at heart. This is a technique I've developed and passed it on to roommates and friends. Maybe it'll help you.

Step 0. Have a good stock of office supplies. I like big index cards, and an index card box with dividers. A ring binder, just for this project (doesn't need to be new) is nice too. I also use a printer, (sometimes to print on those cards), and the xerox machines at the library. (You might need a baggie of change for this) Also keep a neat place that is just for working, and all of these materials stay there. If it's nice you'll want to spend more time there. Decide if you should have a computer there with internet or not.

1. Preliminarily research your paper field, and begin to narrow a topic. Preferably the same day you receive the assignment. I'm really talking about "reading the wikipedia page" level of research, 10-30min of idly browsing sites. Just get an idea of the field, what subjects are contained in it and what a good area of investigation would be.

2. Plan a trip to the library. Convince yourself that it won't take very long. If possible plan it between classes so you have no excuse to not go. Check out and skim a bunch of books, and decide on a specific topic. Write it down on your first index card. Write your thesis statement on card #2 (in pencil). Take each book and web source you use, and write a bibliography card for each. You will be thankful you've done this later on. Haul your books home, print relevant web articles. Time permitting, let this marinate. This will become your nugget of info goodness to mine later. Know that you've really done most of the legwork at this point.

3. Write a few points that will get you from zero to proving your thesis, each on their own card. You may not know now how they are all related, or if they will all be used. Start looking for supporting facts, figures, dates, etc for each point. Write exact quotations (or highlight and cut out xeroxes, then tape) on your cards. Note your sources. Keep your points in a box. If needed you can do this step in spurts over several days. When you have a handful (3-5 depending on target page count) really well fleshed out points and relevant quotes it's time to:

4. Start an outline. You can type this, but it can also be helpful to layout your cards, starting with your thesis, and progress through your supporting points in a logical order. The cards make it easy to re-arrange orders. You can toss out weak or irrelevant points, or see a hole and go back to step 3. Take all the "finalist" cards and arrange in order in a neat stack. Put a special rubber band or divider around it. This is now your easy ticket to paper writing. Type up your outline (no need to include every quotation), but it can be a good idea to do your bibliography now.

5. Open a duplicate of your outline, and start fleshing out topics. You're just expanding on every point and making it a paragraph or two. Feel free to skip around, and continue researching. The best benefit of working ahead is you have flexibility. Aim for finishing this step 1-3 days before your due date.

6. Edit this rough draft. Edit hard for things like "does this make sense" "does this logically argue/support this topic/thesis?". You may need to head back to step 3 here if you find major flaws. It's cool you've got time, and you know where they will go with your handy outline. Afterwords, put it away for a day. Then edit for fine things like spelling, sentence structure, punctuation, etc. Have a friend read it. Put it away. Read it one more time with a fine tooth comb. Reading aloud helps. Make sure your bibliography is in order. Turn it in. Be happy.

I try to make each step have a "hook" because I know I'll try to convince my self to do it later. If I've got my next foot hold, my next step ready I can get into it easier. It's also good to let yourself know ahead of time when this step will end; tasks with indefinite ends seem daunting.
posted by fontophilic at 2:07 PM on May 18, 2010 [4 favorites]

I agree with johnnybeggs: fight the impulse to freak out. During my own return to college, I received the advice that kind of changed my life. I still use it now, post-college, and just tweak the noun. Here it is:

"The best paper is a finished paper."

It's totally obvious, and perfect is the enemy of the good (etc.), but this was the thing that I couldn't wrap my head around for many anguished years of perfectionism and procrastination. The truth is that anything I write--and anything you write--is better than nothing. The paper (and all of the despair and suffering that went into it) doesn't matter if you don't turn it in.

Try writing a paper with two goals in mind: 1) finishing it and 2) turning it in on time. (Turning things in late and regularly receiving lower grades that aren't about the quality of the work but are about the inability to meet a deadline can be demoralizing.) At really bleak points in my academic career, I would post those two goals above my computer, and whenever I'd start to lose it, I'd look at the goals and attempt to refocus. I have to finish it and turn it in on time. That's all.

I turned in papers that I wished I had spent more time on, and papers that had an embarrassing sentence (or paragraph, or middle third, or whatever), but: I turned in the papers, and received grades for them, and always felt better about myself and my work than I did when I handed in that "perfect" paper three weeks too late.

Also, in terms of practical suggestions, I find that having a stack of index cards on which I've written my main points is helpful, because I can move them around to think about the structure of what I'm writing, and I can also just shuffle the cards, grab one, and say, "Okay, now I'm going to write about this thing for five minutes; I'm pretty sure I can do that without freaking out."
posted by 2or3things at 2:16 PM on May 18, 2010 [2 favorites]

I had the same experience. My survival strategy in a nutshell: Ass on chair. Black on white. Repeat.
posted by waterandrock at 2:34 PM on May 18, 2010 [3 favorites]

Something that helped me to write a dissertation: crayons. Get a big pad of paper, and relax with your brain by doodling, drawing pictures and writing down different ideas. Drawings would gradually become outlines, which turned into chapters. The main problem was getting over the anxiety of the blank page.
posted by pickypicky at 2:54 PM on May 18, 2010

I went from knowing absolutely nothing about how to write a paper (the only essay I had written before college was my admissions essay; I was a foreign applicant and it was basically just a page of prose) to becoming an associate at my college's writing center and getting published in a textbook about tutorship in writing. In all my time in college, I never finished a paper before it was due (I usually finished it right on the nose, and asked for extensions when I just couldn't swing it, and also took the maximum number of incompletes allowed by my college) and I never wrote a draft. You can totally do this.

You haven't really mentioned the specific problems you have with writing papers, so is it just about your general procrastination? You get readings done before class, you participate in discussions and enjoy them. If you let go of all the stuff about vocabulary and adopting the right persona or voice, writing a paper is not that different, really.

A few things that really helped me figure things out:
1. Study well-structured papers and work backwards. After my very first, very half-assed attempt at a college paper, my professor gave me an old student's essay to learn from. I worked back on the structure and realized how the argument was not only structured but also built up slowly to the conclusion; what choices were made with organizing the arguments; what tied it all together and made everything belong together. I began doing this for my readings too, especially for subjects I found really challenging like critical theory. Essays made a lot more sense and became a lot less daunting once I worked out how they made sense. Also, working through readings in this way can often lead to a moment of discovery, when you realize that the author is making certain assumptions or connections, and you can use these insights to formulate your thesis - testing the assumption, juxtaposing two things together, refuting things, pointing out inconsistencies etc.

2. Talking things out (with people who didn't know much about the specific subject or reading). When I was stumped (or just paralyzed, or laaaazy!), I found it helpful to talk about the subject with a person who knew nothing about it. I'd call my friend up who went to a different college, and start talking about the reading I found most compelling or had to write about. When you're talking to someone (especially someone who doesn't know what you're talking about), you have to make a real effort to make sense, provide adequate context and point out precisely what makes it interesting / jumps out at you. These are all exactly the things that make for good papers. Also, you have to keep their interest, and they will often ask pertinent questions, which requires you clarify things further. Later as a writing tutor I used this technique to help students work out their theses. Talking is not stressful and by the end of it they often had not only a thesis but the beginnings of an outline. This way, a fair amount of the work is already done before you've even begun to write.

3. Outline, outline, outline. I cannot stress this enough. I've come to believe you can't even have a good paper without an outline; it's too deliberate an exercise to just come pouring out in acceptable quality. Make an argument in the shortest number of words possible, then argue it point by simple point. This also has the great benefit of enabling you to start your real paper from any place you like (much more appealing to start writing what interested me most, as opposed to an unwieldy, blind beginning), and to reorganize your structure to make the most sense when you're finished with all the pieces. Outlines allow for some sweet paper writing alchemy - making new connections between ideas, realizing that a small point from the outline was actually turning out to be much more interesting and significant than I expected at the outline stage - those kind of moments were what kept me going, made writing worthwhile.

4. Figure out how I worked instead of trying to make myself work a certain way. Others upthread have good suggestions in this regard. Also, you're probably taking the same subjects more than once, and in each class you probably have smaller writing assignments building up to the mid-term and then the final. If, say, it took me 3 hours to write a 3 page anthropologyt paper and 8 hours to write a 6 page paper for the same class (from thinking up a thesis to printing it out), I'd usually just give myself 13 hours (not really give, I'd procrastinate until that was all that was left) to write the 10 page final paper. God, it was painful to get down to it, but if you're noticing the patterns of your writing, speed, etc - you're better equipped and usually less freaked out too. So think of these essays you're struggling with right now as learning exercises in that regard - at the very least reflect on them, and instead of beating yourself up, just be more aware next time.

Also requirements vary from professor to professor. Some are laidback and will not make a huge deal about an extra day or two; some will lay down clear guidelines (half a grade deducted for each late day) so you have to do some math to see when you absolutely must get it done by; and still some others (far fewer at my college, YMMV) will not extend anything even by an hour. They're usually upfront about it, or you can figure these things out over the course of the semester; the stakes are usually low in beginning exercises - or you can ask other students who've taken the same class before. Beating yourself up about procrastinating isn't productive - just try to do it as smartly as possible. That's a skill worth acquiring. :)

Writing papers is intimidating and really difficult; that never changes IMHO. But demystify the paper... don't think of it as using your thoughts to fill 6 pages but rather as using 6 pages to think things through clearly and defensibly. That's what they're intended to do, and that's what's easiest to do.
posted by mondaygreens at 3:10 PM on May 18, 2010 [2 favorites]

Thank you so much for posting this. I'm in a similar boat and I had no idea this was such a typical experience - I thought maybe I was just lazy or incapable or really, really hated essay writing. Just having read this willl mean that I spend less time worrying about WHY I'm struggling and hopefully more time doing my last minute essay. Thanks, and good luck!
posted by Chrysalis at 4:50 PM on May 18, 2010

The things that people are posting here (and in the earlier thread you posted on a similar topic) are exactly the sort of thing that saved my bacon (and continue to keep it out of the fire) as I forge through grad school. I have yet to turn in a paper prior to when it is due (instead of that day) but it seems that most of my classmates are in the same boat, and despite the stress that makes though processes go to pieces, I'm hanging in there.

Additionally, (and I don't mean to snoop) but you mention likely undiagnosed ADHD in another thread. Get yourself back to your doctor and see if you can be evaluated for it. You don't say whether you tried Adderall or similar drugs, but those, in concert with some CBT (and reading Driven to Distraction (old but still a good intro), Delivered from Distraction and You Mean I'm Not LAzy, Crazy or Stupid) might really be helpful.

And now I have to get back to the brainstorming I'm supposed to be doing for an assignment instead of reading the green. Augh.
posted by canine epigram at 5:14 PM on May 18, 2010

Here is the method I worked out for writing large papers.

STAGE 1

Take a lined tablet. Or a blank computer screen.

Read the assignment or book, or whatever you're writing the paper on, with the tablet or computer by your side.

Write down the first interesting thing you find -- something you think would be good to put in the paper. Also thoughts that occur to you. Then skip a line or hit Enter twice to put a space between items.

Do the same for the next item. Keep going. Don't worry about order, logic or connections from one thing to the next.

When you finish, read through your notes. You'll have additional thoughts and insights. Put them down as new items at the end of the list, again in random order.

Then read related material on the same subject. If you're writing a paper on, say, Dickens's A Christmas Carol, read an encyclopedia article on it, and what you find in the library or online. You can do this on any subject -- arc welding, the Rolling Stones, volcanoes -- whatever the paper will be about.

You'll know when you're finished because you come across the same material a second or third time and find less and less that's new.

Finally, number the items consecutively.

STAGE 2

Take another blank tablet or computer screen. Read your first Stage 1 note and write its subject as your first Stage 2 item. Then note the Stage 1 item number next to the Stage 2 note.

Continue with the next Stage 1 item, making a new Stage 2 note and entering its Stage 1 number. As you go along, you'll find that the Stage 1 items fall into groups, and you put their numbers together under the appropriate Stage 2 headings.

STAGE 3

Take the Stage 2 tablet, or print out the computer version.

With scissors, cut apart the Stage 2 notes or printout and spread them on a large table.

Read each Stage 2 note and sort them into categories. Using Scotch tape, put each category on a separate tablet page.

Sort the pasted-up tablet pages into some sort of order. The outline of your paper will emerge as you work.

STAGE 4

As you do your sorting, you will always find gaps -- places where you need to read more to find what goes in between. Go through mini-versions of the stages to find the "middle" material.

Keep going until, as in Stage 1, you 're finding only repeats.

STAGE 5

Reorganize your Stage 3 pages into the (more or less) final order and start your writing process.

As your first section, put in the Stage 2 heading you have put first during Stage 3. Then, using the Stage 1 numbers, put in the stage 1 items one after another, and then sort them into a logical order.

You will almost undoubtedly have things you can't use. Don't force them in. Put them aside for some other use.

You will also find new gaps, which you hadn't noticed until you got everything put together. This time, however, you'll know what to look for, so it won't take as long.

Repeat the process until you've filled all the gaps and have everything in logical order.

This may seem very mechanical, but it works. I've written 40-page papers and highly organized legal briefs this way. The great thing is that you don't need to think up an outline in advance. You start with one line, and then another, and you create the paper as you read the assignment. The structure emerges when you do the Stage 3 sorting.

It's not as complicated as it seems when you read through the first time. Just take notes and keep going.
posted by KRS at 7:05 PM on May 18, 2010

Just. Write. Get some of those floating ideas in your head onto paper/a word document. Not the right word? Doesn't matter. Doesn't really convey what you wanted to say? Still doesn't matter. It will be shitty, but at least now you have something to work with. It's a lot easier to improve a somewhat shitty but completed draft, then to write a perfect paper from scratch. A great thing about this is that you'll find your draft is a lot less shitty then you thought. In fact, it's actually pretty coherent and well-written! You might even find that the act of writing clarified some of those jumbled, not well-articulated ideas you had in your head.

I really recommend Anne Lamott's "Shitty First Drafts" which is basically a much better essay about what I just described above.

Good luck! I am a notoriously bad procrastinator and I had the exact same problem of writing awesome papers but handing them in late and getting penalties. It's not easy to give up. When I try writing drafts, I can feel my brain unconsciously go into procrastination mode, but I fight it when I can. I went from handing in papers a week or two late, to finishing it in the night before and getting it in on time (er, well at least most of the time).
posted by joeyjoejoejr at 7:49 PM on May 18, 2010

There are some really good comments here and I don't want to get redundant so I'll just make a couple of points. I'm 29 and just finished my undergrad and, by the end I found that I didn't get intimidated by the writing at all even though I've never really been a writer.

1. I'll definitely reinforce the advice to outline. It would be really easy to copy/paste stuff you do in the some of the free-writing exercises that others have suggested into a basic outline. Once you have the organization down and know what you want to say you'll just need to translate that into more academic/professional language. Outlining also helps to break the task down and keeps you from feeling like you need to start at the beginning of the paper.

2. To get around the "blank page syndrome" I always committed to writing thing like the introduction and conclusion last unless inspiration struck and I had a good idea for an opener.

3. Make sure you always have something around to record your thoughts. Sometimes I would be at the theater watching a movie or something and some random thing would give me an idea for a paper or I would be talking about the subject with my friends/co-workers/spouse and get an idea while I was away from my computer.

4. Read, read, read. I'm absolutely convinced that the thing that helped my become a good writer between when I dropped out of college in 2001 to when I went back in 2008 was that I started getting into fantasy books a few years ago. Read good writing and you'll become a better writer. I read every night before I go to bed and I'm certain that it helped my write better. It almost doesn't matter what you read so long as it is well written. It would probably be even better if you could find a bunch of good essays that have similar structure to what you're writing even if the topic is completely different. For example, the magazine "Car and Driver" usually has an entertaining profile of some person that is in a basic essay format. The important thing is that you like to read it and that it is well written.

5. Find someone to proof-read your work. I hate reading my own writing because I have a hard time seeing the typos since. My brain tends to see things as I intended to be so I have a hard time catching mistakes. I also tend to get hung-up on the small stuff and will spend too much time trying to make it perfect and not get it done rather than making it excellent and getting it done on time.
posted by VTX at 8:38 PM on May 18, 2010

Everyone feels this way. Or if they don't ... well, lucky buggers, and I've never met one. It depends on when it hits - at the 1 page mark, 5 pages, 10, 20, a full-on thesis ... but at some point, everyone's sat there and gone 'holy hell now what do i do panic i don't know what to do how do i start what if i do it wrong i'm going to screw this up what do i say how do i do it what do i do now oh god oh god oh god ...' etc.

It is perfectly normal. You are not alone.

That initial reaction is, I think, the single hardest obstacle to overcome with academic studies.

I get around it thusly:

Read everything I can find about the subject until I understand it really well. Read things about similar subjects so I can get the rhythm of the expected writing. If you're doing an academic paper, read papers in that discipline. Creative writing, read novels. Journalism, read newspapers. You get the idea.

Talk at someone about it and explain it, until they have at least a good grasp of it. If you don't have someone handy, use a teddy bear. Yes, a teddy bear. I'm not kidding. The act of putting your thoughts in order and speaking them aloud is often enough to jolt you into action. If neither teddy bear nor person is available, rant about it on the internet. Write a quick blog about what you're trying to write about. Basically, the idea here is to find a voice, and express what you know about the subject (and your feelings about same, if you need to vent frustration, panic, anxiety etc).

Write down what was said (or, record and transcribe). Edit for structure, length, parsing (formal voice for scientific reports instead of informal chat), references, citations, blah blah. Format. Expand, expound, shuffle. Get a friend to proof-read it. Or use a text-to-speech program to read it out, so you catch all those phrases that sound fine in your head but really odd to anyone else.

Print, review against marking criteria if you have them, and send it off.

Incidentally, start trying this process on the first possible day, not the last.
posted by ysabet at 9:23 PM on May 18, 2010

Colleges blame high school teachers for not preparing students to write, and this is pretty much bullshit. College professors themselves usually do a piss-poor job of being explicit as to what they want in a college-level paper beyond saying "You know, a five page essay with a solid introduction and a solid conclusion!"

But that really doesn't mean much, does it? Because professors have different expectations for their students but somehow magically expect you, the college student, to figure out what those are.

So first step, throw out the Platonic/ideal notion of "the perfect paper." You are a college student expected to engage in a low but competent level of academic discourse. If you're writing humanities-type papers, I'd suggest you structure them around three to five solid quotations from the primary source material. If your prof seems interested in secondary sources (i.e., other professors writing about the work of literature or history) or says you need them, then bring in some of those too. Put them on index cards if you like, and begin thinking about how you'll organize your thoughts around them. If you can successfully demonstrate a decent level of interpretive skill (you read and understood, to some extent, the material in question) and the formal process (using punctuation correctly, citing sources correctly) I guarantee you've written a "B" paper, if not better.

Thing is, this goes against the Dead Poets Society mythology of the brilliant flash-of-genius essay, but throw that notion out the window. Professors don't want brilliance as long as it isn't ancillary to something that looks academic-y (proper citations of sources, an introduction that clearly lays out one, at most two ideas you want to explore, and a concluding paragraph that doesn't shake the intellectual ground underneath anyone's feet, but simply demonstrates the ability to reiterate that you've read the material and you know how to engage with it using proper quotations and citations). Professors read a lot of undergraduate essays every year. Maybe you'll wow them once or twice, but it's your job to demonstrate competence, not brilliance. So don't kill yourself going for the latter when all you really need is the former.

Now if college professors would stop perpetuating this myth (in most cases) that they want brilliant, game-changing insights from their undergrads. (Which is incredibly silly when you think about it, because you're the one paying tuition and they're the "expert" getting paid to dispense that supposed expertise.)

Also, a small tip: You introductory paragraph should be the last thing you work on. It's the most important paragraph, so finish it after you've written the rest of the paper. Better yet, put one up as a place-holder with the expectation that it will change a lot once you've figured out just what the hell it is you're trying to say (usually happened to me on page three or so).

And a smaller tip: Try and answer the question posed in your very first sentence. You might come back and change it later but I always found that was a good way to start.
posted by bardic at 11:50 PM on May 18, 2010

If one of my students came to me with your question, I would offer these suggestions:

1) If sitting down to write is an issue, try dictating your thoughts whenever you happen to have one. If you've got a smartphone with a voice memo function it's easy; if not, pick up a cheap voice-activated recorder and carry it around with you. Then whenever you're in those random situations where your thoughts can wander, wander them over to the topic of your paper. Now you've got a bunch of notes without having had to sit down and formally outline your paper.

2) If there's a writing center at your school, USE IT. This is why it's there. If you don't click with the first person you work with, try again with someone else.

3) Someone mentioned crayons upthread - in that same vein, find an empty classroom and go nuts on the white boards. Bring markers in goofy colors (and scents) and make the outlining process fun - draw pictures and lines and arrows and enjoy yourself. Knowing you can easily erase makes it freeing - you can throw any goofy idea up there and see how it fits. Take some pics with a camera when you're done.

4) If you were my student, I would ask where you've been during my office hours? :-) If someone takes the time to come see me personally with a problem, I am usually willing to work with them by extending deadlines, helping them find tutors, and/or working with them myself. And sometimes it's just easier for a student to ask questions when it's one-on-one, rather during class because you don't want to look bad in front of your peers.

And you know what - there's no harm (except maybe to your bank account) in taking some time off to reevaluate or charge your batteries. Or to decide not to go back.
posted by SuperSquirrel at 8:05 AM on May 19, 2010

I think a lot of these suggestions are really great, and probably much more productive than mine. On the other hand, as a world-class procrastinator myself, I thought I'd tell you what worked for me, just because everyone is different and my methods might resonate for you if the others don't.

- I pretty much just accepted that I was going to write the paper last minute, no drafts, no outline. I found that the more time I had to write the paper, the more time I took, without an improvement in quality. When I accepted this as my process, rather than my failing, I was a lot less stressed out about things. Some people are good on-paper planners -- I do a lot of percolating in my head, then need to write the thing at one shot.

- Find something that you want to say about the topic. I found it really useful to really narrow my focus and then write the hell out of it. It's pretty impossible to write a paper on Shakespeare; it's much easier to write a paper on gender roles and expectations in the Merchant of Venice (for example). Even if the professor gives you a broad topic, focus on something within that topic that is interesting to you. It is paradoxically much easier to get a lot of words out of something small than out of something big. Plus it's way less overwhelming.

- Which leads me to the most important point: HAVE A CLEAR THESIS. The thesis should be something clear, specific, and arguable. "Abraham Lincoln was a president" is not a thesis (not arguable). "Abraham Lincoln was a great president" is not a good thesis (not specific). "Abraham Lincoln had specific goals for his first 100 days in office that he failed to meet, largely due to unforeseen economic forces that emerged shortly after inauguration," is a good thesis, because it's argumentative, clear, and specific. NB: I don't know if this thesis is true -- I just made that up. But it would be a good thesis if the evidence supported it. A good thesis propels you through the rest of the paper, so the majority of your thought process towards constructing a good one.

- If you are going to do an outline (even in your head), it's really helpful to think in terms of supporting paragraphs. That is, you have a good thesis, so think of 2-4 reasons that your thesis is correct. These can essentially be your topic sentences for the rest of your essay. For each topic sentence, think of a few specific, TEXTUALLY SUPPORTED examples that support your topic.
Add a sentence or two to explain why they support your topic, and thereby your thesis. Then you're done with the body of your essay. Yay!

- Ignore page counts. They're generally there to give you an idea of the kind of essay that the professor is looking for. Only a giant jerk of a professor is going to ding you for writing four pages instead of five. Just get in the general neighborhood. When I was in undergrad, my personal rule was that the text had to touch the page that was one less than the required page count. So if it was a five-page requirement, the essay had to be three pages and at least a line or two on page four. Never had a problem with that, as long as the essay is pretty focused.
posted by LittleMissCranky at 8:21 AM on May 19, 2010

I wanted to thank everyone for all of the ideas. Some of them were so simple and obvious but had never really occured to me. I had a paper due this week and tried to implement some of these tips, specifically the brainstorming and just writing. I still crashed and burned and will need to start the process immediately. Reading is my favorite thing to do but when it comes to putting my own thoughts and ideas to paper it feels excrutiating.

Thanks again. It really does help to know how everyone gets it done.
posted by mokeydraws at 11:34 AM on May 21, 2010