How did Stella get her geekiness back?
May 17, 2010 1:35 PM Subscribe
How can I stop being so self-conscious about my geekiness?
posted by anonymous to Human Relations (32 answers total) 13 users marked this as a favorite
I'm ashamed of my geekiness.
When I was younger, I was a geek about video games, RPGs, anime, and comics. In middle school, I was obvious about my love for Japanese pop culture. In high school, I got a job reviewing anime and manga and went to a few conventions with a press pass.
I cosplayed, ordered fansubs, and entered DDR competitions. I read the Star Wars extended universe at camp.
In college, something changed. I became ashamed of being a geek. Google searches loosely connect me to my geeky pursuits, and my stomach goes in knots at the idea of people finding out.
I haven't been to a con in years. I become shame-faced when I'm caught in the graphic novel aisle at the bookstore. I don't want to admit my love of games or movies or comics. When the topic comes up, I shut my mouth even when I could contribute to the conversation.
I don't want to be like this. A friend played Mario for the first time, and I didn't even respond. Another friend is geeking out over anime, and I'm mute.
It's not that I'm not interested. I still game and read the occasional manga. But I just can't seem to get over my embarrassment.
I've never been bullied or called "weird" for being a geek. I've been fortunate to have been surrounded by pro-geek people. That's why this new embarrassment is so frustrating.
Am I stuck having this be a secret part of my life? Is this just what "being an adult" is about? Can I get my geekiness back?