Welcome to the club, now go away!
May 15, 2010 1:42 PM Subscribe
What should I do about The Cabal?
posted by anonymous to human relations (39 answers total) 15 users marked this as a favorite
I joined a group a few years ago. Let's say it's a hiking club. It seemed like a pretty awesome group with lots of good people in it. Many great hikes were had.
The group seemed really healthy and thriving until some newer members joined up. Some of the original core members of the hiking club didn't seem to get along with the newer members very well, but it seemed like everything was going ok.
Recently I discovered that the original core group has basically set up a secret group within the larger one and has been organizing hikes only among members of The Cabal, excluding the member of the larger club.
I realize that this is not that uncommon and cliques tend to form pretty naturally. What bothers me, in addition to the secrecy, is that the hiking club as a whole tends to pride itself on how awesome we all are to each other. We buy each other boots and gear when someone needs it. If someone buys a new backpack they'll give the old one away on the hiking club web forum. We organize mail swaps not unlike MeFi's CD swapping, etc. We talk about good hikemanship and even have made-up in-jokey words to convey the concepts of being a good club member to one another.
That's what bugs me. The Cabal is a bunch of two-faced hypocrites. They present the appearance of being great folks and a real get-along gang, write forum post proclaiming the awesomeness of the club, then go back to their secret areas and talk junk about the rest of the club members and organize secret hikes. I know this because I've seen & heard it when they thought no one was around.
Should I just left it go? Should I bring it up in the middle of a meeting of everyone? Should I leave the group and find some better people to hike with? I really enjoy participating in the group until I remember that there's a whole other core shadow group who'd prefer I just shut the heck up and go away. Then I feel like an jackass.
I would really appreciate some advice.