dating for dummies
May 10, 2010 4:05 PM Subscribe
I have almost no dating experience, mainly due to my social anxiety and fear of intimacy. How can I pursue this relationship...?
posted by anonymous to human relations (22 answers total) 14 users marked this as a favorite
First off, I have moderate to severe social anxiety. I hide it fairly well by not getting too close to people, and avoiding situations where I know my anxiety will be too severe to contain. Basically now I'm 25, have essentially always been single, and don't have an idea of how a relationship works, especially for people who enjoy time alone, and aren't super chatty.
Even when I'm with my close friends, hanging out 1-on-1, I feel the need to keep the conversation going constantly - and to always keep things light and funny. It's draining and I can't imagine trying to keep a conversation flowing with a partner throughout the day.
Sooo this past weekend, I went for drinks with a friend who I see only a couple times a year. I've always had a bit of a thing for her - she's attractive, smart, funny, and we get along great. She's also always in a relationship. Well, at the end of the night, we were both a bit tipsy, and she told me out of nowhere that she had feelings for me, and we ended up kissing for awhile, before she left telling me to come visit her soon.
Sooo now I feel like I'm in way over my head. I wanted this to happen for awhile, and now that it did I'm completely terrified. How do I act when I see her next? What're we going to do when we're sober? Am I going to panic and have a meltdown and reveal what a mental case I am?
So how do I proceed from here? I seriously have no sense of what to do, when to call, how to act, bla. I know I'm overthinking and that she likes me and I like her and that should be it. But I could really use some advice from people who've been here, or are here.