Are there bathrooms in heaven?
May 6, 2010 7:01 PM Subscribe
Are there bathrooms in heaven?
This post was deleted for the following reason: This sort of complex metaphysical query is beyond the grasp of Ask Metafilter. -- cortex
The older you get, the more you realize the answer is yes.
posted by azpenguin at 7:04 PM on May 6, 2010 [2 favorites]
posted by azpenguin at 7:04 PM on May 6, 2010 [2 favorites]
This is one of the more interesting chatfilter questions I've seen. I'd almost like someone to come back from the dead and give a definitive answer...but then, I'd have to believe in heaven.
posted by misha at 7:05 PM on May 6, 2010
posted by misha at 7:05 PM on May 6, 2010
Of course there are. There's nothing like a good poop.
posted by Cat Pie Hurts at 7:06 PM on May 6, 2010 [1 favorite]
posted by Cat Pie Hurts at 7:06 PM on May 6, 2010 [1 favorite]
No, you have no anus or pee-hole in heaven, so no need for bathrooms.
posted by Falconetti at 7:07 PM on May 6, 2010
posted by Falconetti at 7:07 PM on May 6, 2010
Your body stays on Earth. Only your soul goes to Heaven. But they do have "dummy bathrooms" to make you feel more at home.
posted by amethysts at 7:08 PM on May 6, 2010 [1 favorite]
posted by amethysts at 7:08 PM on May 6, 2010 [1 favorite]
Agent: So what do you call your act?
Father: The Aristocrats!
posted by KokuRyu at 7:08 PM on May 6, 2010
Father: The Aristocrats!
posted by KokuRyu at 7:08 PM on May 6, 2010
Well, assuming heaven does exist... The New Testament devotes lots of space to talking about banquets in heaven. So you eat food. But heaven is also evidently perfect, so whether we need bathrooms or not depends on whether you think the digestive process is necessary to be perfect.
posted by pecknpah at 7:08 PM on May 6, 2010
posted by pecknpah at 7:08 PM on May 6, 2010
Where Would Jesus Poop?
posted by oinopaponton at 7:09 PM on May 6, 2010
posted by oinopaponton at 7:09 PM on May 6, 2010
I seem to remember hearing something about how, in heaven, there's no beer. So I'm going to say no.
posted by box at 7:09 PM on May 6, 2010
posted by box at 7:09 PM on May 6, 2010
According to the Summa Theologica, spiritual beings that have been restored to glorified bodies will have the following basic qualities:
Impassibility (immortal / painless) — immunity from death and pain
Subtility (permeability) — freedom from restraint by matter
Agility — obedience to spirit with relation to movement and space (the ability to move through space and time with the speed of thought)
Clarity — resplendent beauty of the soul manifested in the body (as when Jesus was transfigured on Mount Tabor) [13]
So no, no bathrooms.
posted by yarly at 7:10 PM on May 6, 2010 [1 favorite]
Impassibility (immortal / painless) — immunity from death and pain
Subtility (permeability) — freedom from restraint by matter
Agility — obedience to spirit with relation to movement and space (the ability to move through space and time with the speed of thought)
Clarity — resplendent beauty of the soul manifested in the body (as when Jesus was transfigured on Mount Tabor) [13]
So no, no bathrooms.
posted by yarly at 7:10 PM on May 6, 2010 [1 favorite]
Elaborate speculation about what happens in heaven here.
posted by shothotbot at 7:10 PM on May 6, 2010
posted by shothotbot at 7:10 PM on May 6, 2010
Best answer: Staffed by cavemen who were good people but didn't get the chance to learn about Jesus.
posted by Mayor Curley at 7:11 PM on May 6, 2010 [2 favorites]
posted by Mayor Curley at 7:11 PM on May 6, 2010 [2 favorites]
In heaven there is no beer
That's why we drink it here
No beer, no need for bathrooms.
posted by fixedgear at 7:11 PM on May 6, 2010
That's why we drink it here
No beer, no need for bathrooms.
posted by fixedgear at 7:11 PM on May 6, 2010
Girls don't poop, or if they do, it's roses, so does that mean girls are already in heaven?
posted by TheBones at 7:12 PM on May 6, 2010
posted by TheBones at 7:12 PM on May 6, 2010
If there are bathrooms, they don't smell
posted by emilyd22222 at 7:14 PM on May 6, 2010
posted by emilyd22222 at 7:14 PM on May 6, 2010
While I won't say this is a bad question 9there are no bad questions, only questions that elicit many, many bad answers), personally, I think the more important questions is: if there are bathrooms in heaven, are they single gender? Or are they arbitrarily divided based on biological or birth gender? If the later, what the hell does that have to do with nothing that is in heaven?
posted by Some1 at 7:14 PM on May 6, 2010
posted by Some1 at 7:14 PM on May 6, 2010
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posted by nadawi at 7:03 PM on May 6, 2010