Montessori vs. Traditional classroom for very social child
May 4, 2010 8:41 AM Subscribe
Montessori vs. traditional kindergarten for an extremely social, spirited, yet sensitive child?
We are lucky enough to live in a great school district which offers both Montessori and traditional classrooms. Our daughter has attended Montessori preschool five days a week for the past two years. She will attend kindergarten this fall.
Our daughter is VERY social and extroverted. She loves people. Her current Montessori teacher says that she is "very spirited."
I feel that she has learned a lot under the Montessori system - she is five and she can name all of the continents, all of the planets, tell you the difference between a reptile, mammal, amphibian, etc.
However, we've been getting notes from her teacher saying that she prefers to socialize in class and that she is not doing her works. So, the issue is not necessarily that she isn't learning - she is just not self-directed. Her teacher recently sent me a note saying that she has been "weepy" lately.
For kindergarten, do I take her out of Montessori and put her into the more structured traditional classroom environment, where she'll receive more guidance as far as her schoolwork goes? Or so I keep her in Montessori, knowing that she is learning, but that she's going to have a lot of time where she is just hanging out and not doing anything productive?
One of my concerns is that she will be in a 3-6 year-old classroom next year if she stays with Montessori, and I am guessing that she will receive even less guidance from the teacher as the younger students will be taking up most of the teacher's time. Also, due to her social nature, she can be bossy towards younger children.
She would be attending a school that is an extra 10 minutes away if we keep her in Montessori, so there's that convenience factor, too. There would be no tuition charge for the Montessori school since it's public, so cost is not a factor. I really just want to do what's best for her. Thoughts?
We are lucky enough to live in a great school district which offers both Montessori and traditional classrooms. Our daughter has attended Montessori preschool five days a week for the past two years. She will attend kindergarten this fall.
Our daughter is VERY social and extroverted. She loves people. Her current Montessori teacher says that she is "very spirited."
I feel that she has learned a lot under the Montessori system - she is five and she can name all of the continents, all of the planets, tell you the difference between a reptile, mammal, amphibian, etc.
However, we've been getting notes from her teacher saying that she prefers to socialize in class and that she is not doing her works. So, the issue is not necessarily that she isn't learning - she is just not self-directed. Her teacher recently sent me a note saying that she has been "weepy" lately.
For kindergarten, do I take her out of Montessori and put her into the more structured traditional classroom environment, where she'll receive more guidance as far as her schoolwork goes? Or so I keep her in Montessori, knowing that she is learning, but that she's going to have a lot of time where she is just hanging out and not doing anything productive?
One of my concerns is that she will be in a 3-6 year-old classroom next year if she stays with Montessori, and I am guessing that she will receive even less guidance from the teacher as the younger students will be taking up most of the teacher's time. Also, due to her social nature, she can be bossy towards younger children.
She would be attending a school that is an extra 10 minutes away if we keep her in Montessori, so there's that convenience factor, too. There would be no tuition charge for the Montessori school since it's public, so cost is not a factor. I really just want to do what's best for her. Thoughts?
If her behavior at school is changing, that may be an indicator of other changes in her life, rather than a reason to switch her to a different school. I would encourage you to examine other dimensions of the situation than the school- the school may have been what uncovered the problem, but that doesn't mean that changing the school situation is going to help.
If she has a powerful need to socialize that distracts her from her work, maybe she could use more play dates at home after school.
As for whether Montessori is better than a traditional kindergarten, I am not in education or educational psychology, but I did work in a psychology lab focused on language learning for 18 months. Everyone at the lab had a very favorable view of Montessori schooling.
posted by a snickering nuthatch at 9:10 AM on May 4, 2010
If she has a powerful need to socialize that distracts her from her work, maybe she could use more play dates at home after school.
As for whether Montessori is better than a traditional kindergarten, I am not in education or educational psychology, but I did work in a psychology lab focused on language learning for 18 months. Everyone at the lab had a very favorable view of Montessori schooling.
posted by a snickering nuthatch at 9:10 AM on May 4, 2010
Isn't learning how to socialize appropriately and positively a really fantastic thing for a 4-year-old to be doing? If her teacher is merely complaining about this and not providing proper guidance when she turns a little bossy with other kids or socializes at times when the kids are supposed to be working solo, then maybe a different school would be better, but this sounds like a teacher problem rather than a kid problem--or a teacher-working-with-kid problem rather than a kid problem. She may need something new or something more or something different in her life or at her school, but it doesn't sound like she's doing anything truly bad or inappropriate for her age.
I was the kid who could always keep myself occupied with little projects and crafts and books during free time as a preschooler/kindergartener. But I was painfully shy and pretty antisocial all through grade school. I don't know that I'm better off for having been naturally self-directed but shy as a 5-year-old, and I don't know that your daughter is necessarily worse off for being social and needing occasional reminders that she can do what she likes but it's not socializing time right now. In fact, I wonder if it might be beneficial to keep her in a setting that will teach her to create her own structure by giving her choices for activities she will do (with the only outside structure imposed on her being that she does them on her own) rather than sending her into a classroom where she has no agency in creating the structure.
posted by Meg_Murry at 9:18 AM on May 4, 2010 [3 favorites]
I was the kid who could always keep myself occupied with little projects and crafts and books during free time as a preschooler/kindergartener. But I was painfully shy and pretty antisocial all through grade school. I don't know that I'm better off for having been naturally self-directed but shy as a 5-year-old, and I don't know that your daughter is necessarily worse off for being social and needing occasional reminders that she can do what she likes but it's not socializing time right now. In fact, I wonder if it might be beneficial to keep her in a setting that will teach her to create her own structure by giving her choices for activities she will do (with the only outside structure imposed on her being that she does them on her own) rather than sending her into a classroom where she has no agency in creating the structure.
posted by Meg_Murry at 9:18 AM on May 4, 2010 [3 favorites]
Meg_Murry hits on such an important point - if she has trouble being self-directed, putting her in an environment where she rarely has to be self-directed isn't going to help her develop that.
posted by jardinier at 9:21 AM on May 4, 2010
posted by jardinier at 9:21 AM on May 4, 2010
Would she have the same montessori teacher as this year?
posted by Salamandrous at 9:27 AM on May 4, 2010
posted by Salamandrous at 9:27 AM on May 4, 2010
However, we've been getting notes from her teacher saying that she prefers to socialize in class and that she is not doing her works.
Speaking as a former teacher, I will emphatically state that this is your teacher's problem (and it's not a problem, it's a fact of life), and not yours.
It's the teacher's job to manage the classroom and anticipate student behaviour. If your daughter prefers to socialize, it may mean she is bored. There is nothing you can do to change that behaviour, so why send a note home about it?
I'm assuming that Montessori Preschool is not cheap. You're paying this school to teach your child. If you get any more notes like these, if I were you I would complain to the principal.
Besides, your child is 4 years old. Children are not meant to focus on tasks at that age.
If you like Montessori, stick with it. At "regular" school, kids are learning how to sit still and clap. Nothing much happens.
posted by KokuRyu at 9:50 AM on May 4, 2010 [3 favorites]
Speaking as a former teacher, I will emphatically state that this is your teacher's problem (and it's not a problem, it's a fact of life), and not yours.
It's the teacher's job to manage the classroom and anticipate student behaviour. If your daughter prefers to socialize, it may mean she is bored. There is nothing you can do to change that behaviour, so why send a note home about it?
I'm assuming that Montessori Preschool is not cheap. You're paying this school to teach your child. If you get any more notes like these, if I were you I would complain to the principal.
Besides, your child is 4 years old. Children are not meant to focus on tasks at that age.
If you like Montessori, stick with it. At "regular" school, kids are learning how to sit still and clap. Nothing much happens.
posted by KokuRyu at 9:50 AM on May 4, 2010 [3 favorites]
At "regular" school, kids are learning how to sit still and clap. Nothing much happens.
True. We learned continents in second grade and planets in fifth.
And capitalization up to twelfth.
posted by lhude sing cuccu at 10:32 AM on May 4, 2010
True. We learned continents in second grade and planets in fifth.
And capitalization up to twelfth.
posted by lhude sing cuccu at 10:32 AM on May 4, 2010
Response by poster: Salamandrous --- She would have a different teacher next year. Her current teacher has 21 kids in the morning and 21 kids in the afternoon. Probably a good third of those come from families where English is not the first language. So, her teacher has her hands full.
I think the fact that there are so many ESL students that enroll in this Montessori program does place a strain on the teachers and sometimes the other bright kids get left out. On the flip side, my daughter gets to learn about different cultures. Our neighborhood school with the traditional classrooms is pretty white-bread.
KoKyRyu - I agree! I do feel that if her teacher just took a couple of minutes to get my daughter started on an appropriate work, my daughter would take off from there. I asked the teacher what I was supposed to do about the situation and she told me I needed to talk to my daughter about goal-setting.
posted by Ostara at 11:05 AM on May 4, 2010
I think the fact that there are so many ESL students that enroll in this Montessori program does place a strain on the teachers and sometimes the other bright kids get left out. On the flip side, my daughter gets to learn about different cultures. Our neighborhood school with the traditional classrooms is pretty white-bread.
KoKyRyu - I agree! I do feel that if her teacher just took a couple of minutes to get my daughter started on an appropriate work, my daughter would take off from there. I asked the teacher what I was supposed to do about the situation and she told me I needed to talk to my daughter about goal-setting.
posted by Ostara at 11:05 AM on May 4, 2010
Since you've got the option of a free Montessori kindergarten, with a new teacher, I would totally take it!
posted by aimedwander at 12:19 PM on May 4, 2010
posted by aimedwander at 12:19 PM on May 4, 2010
Your child might just be restless and getting bored as she grows older/smarter and maybe needs more challenge...I was a product of montesorri and have always become restless when not challenged enough...its part of the way the system works, learning at your own pace- when slower and when faster. make sure that she's getting enough challenge now that she's an older kid and she should be fine.
posted by saraindc at 1:48 PM on May 4, 2010
posted by saraindc at 1:48 PM on May 4, 2010
I went to a Montessori school for one year, in second grade. I was smart and also super chatty myself. I spent the year not accomplishing much because I was smart enough to realize I didn't have to. :) Take from that what you will.
posted by CwgrlUp at 3:48 PM on May 4, 2010
posted by CwgrlUp at 3:48 PM on May 4, 2010
Response by poster: hal-c-on: I don't necessarily have that attitude - I do see my child's education as a collaboration between me, my husband, and her teachers. But I can understand where you're coming from - my mom was a preschool teacher for 25 years and she got that attitude alot, unfortunately.
When it comes to goal-setting, I usually give her a pep talk as I'm dropping her off - "let's do 3 works today, one should be a language work and one should be a number work, okay? I know you can do it!"
posted by Ostara at 6:20 AM on May 5, 2010
When it comes to goal-setting, I usually give her a pep talk as I'm dropping her off - "let's do 3 works today, one should be a language work and one should be a number work, okay? I know you can do it!"
posted by Ostara at 6:20 AM on May 5, 2010
« Older Where can I find Firefly Vodka in New York? | Class of 2010, I'm sorry you have to listen to me... Newer »
This thread is closed to new comments.
As you know, having put her in Montessori school, time not spent on structured assignments is by no means unproductive for a child - it's those times that children often learn the most.
She'll have a lifetime of structured assignments and teachers and bosses telling her what to do, give her this chance to have freedom in childhood and she'll thank you for it the rest of her life.
My parents did, and I do every day.
posted by jardinier at 8:49 AM on May 4, 2010 [2 favorites]