Closed adoptions in the 21st century?
April 27, 2010 7:53 AM Subscribe
What happened that caused the "closed" adoption to fall out of fashion, and what resources are still available to a couple who wishes to adopt a newborn without adopting a relationship with the baby's biological mother?
posted by anonymous to society & culture (23 answers total) 5 users marked this as a favorite
Background: I am the product of a closed adoption. Just like you, my mother is my mother, and my father is my father. Probably unlike you, someone decided to give me to my parents, and when they did, they did all of us an almost miracle-level favor. That is the story, there are no further details available -- and honestly, I'm very happy to have grown up having it that way.
My wife and I are now considering adopting a newborn, and from what we've seen so far, most current newborn adoptions are "open", where the birth mother meets and vets the potential adoptive parents, and in many cases maintains some sort of relationship with the child and adoptive parents post-adoption.
We don't think that we want that relationship, and this seems to be closing a lot of doors for us. Are we just looking in the wrong places? Are we wrong (or misguided) about our preference for a closed vs. open adoption? Can the hive mind offer answers, guidance, or a better referral?