Should I stay of should I go?
April 19, 2010 12:33 PM Subscribe
Please help me decide whether I should move back to my home country
posted by anonymous to human relations (5 answers total) 2 users marked this as a favorite
I am a Brazilian who has been living in the UK for about 12 years now. I am the only child of divorced parents, and am increasingly concerned about my father's welfare.
My dad is 58 and lives reasonably comfortably with his two brothers, but he needs my help and incentive to move to a better, less dangerous neighbourhood. Needless to say, he also misses having me around and his health is also deteriorating. That’s one of the reasons why I decided to move back home soon (more of that below).
Since emigrating, I built a successful career in the UK, found a wonderful partner and things seem to be only improving in that sense. However, I really would like to be my boss and have many ideas that could work back home. My Scottish boyfriend, who’s a very successful freelancer, has visited Brazil a couple of times and feels that things could work for him there.
We are very open with each other and are planning to marry so that he can work there legally – and also because we love each other and want to be together, of course!
We are considering Brazil’s benefits: the country has many opportunities, while the mood in the UK is gloomy at the best of times. The weather is a thousand times better. We could build our own business and still work for clients around the world. We could travel cheaply, to amazing places. We could actually own a place outright before we are 70.
Now, I am thing of the downsides: security is an increasing concern (i.e ‘fake kidnapping’ phone –based scams to make you believe that a bunch of thugs has taken someone from your family hostage in order to demand a ransom, is one of the new ‘crime trends’ there) and I am worried that as people in the neighbourhood are widely aware he is a ‘gringo’, we may become targets.
Also, he doesn’t speak Portuguese – though he is willing to learn fast – and that will be an initial barrier; there is also the possibility of a cultural shock once is actually living there and has to cope with all the bureaucratic issues and the corruption that is present everywhere.
Now, what should I do? We can continue living the life we are living at present and plan for the future/think of a long-term future in the UK, but how can I deal with the fact that my dad will soon need me around and that I would like to have a better quality of life, in a better climate in a place that has so much potential as well as problems?
We would also like to start a family in a couple of years, and wouldn’t be able to row back on our decision to move (or to stay). Should we give this a go anyway? Or stick with the relative security and stability that we have at the moment? Your opinions are much appreciated…