Is Jcrew's Bowery messenger bag too manly for women?
April 5, 2010 8:43 AM Subscribe
Is JCrew's Bowery messenger bag too manly for a young woman to wear?
I got this http://www.jcrew.com/AST/Browse/MensBrowse/Men_Shop_By_Category/accessories/bags/PRDOVR~19484/19484.jsp
as a present a while ago. I am getting close to J Crew's 60 day return so I am asking. Do you think this is too manly? I am short, not girly at all, medium build. I've used it for about 2-3 weeks for school, and it works fine.
Half of my friends say this makes me look like a man. The other half of my friends say it's awesome. What do you think?
I got this http://www.jcrew.com/AST/Browse/MensBrowse/Men_Shop_By_Category/accessories/bags/PRDOVR~19484/19484.jsp
as a present a while ago. I am getting close to J Crew's 60 day return so I am asking. Do you think this is too manly? I am short, not girly at all, medium build. I've used it for about 2-3 weeks for school, and it works fine.
Half of my friends say this makes me look like a man. The other half of my friends say it's awesome. What do you think?
If it's going to make you self-conscious, return it and get something that won't. Life's too short to stress about your accessories.
posted by restless_nomad at 8:46 AM on April 5, 2010 [2 favorites]
posted by restless_nomad at 8:46 AM on April 5, 2010 [2 favorites]
If you like it, who cares?
posted by madcaptenor at 8:46 AM on April 5, 2010 [9 favorites]
posted by madcaptenor at 8:46 AM on April 5, 2010 [9 favorites]
Are these friends women? I doubt guys would think any bag makes a woman look like a man.
posted by smackfu at 8:47 AM on April 5, 2010 [2 favorites]
posted by smackfu at 8:47 AM on April 5, 2010 [2 favorites]
As long as you don't wear it with heels, I think it would work.
posted by Danf at 8:48 AM on April 5, 2010
posted by Danf at 8:48 AM on April 5, 2010
I am of the impression that nothing is too manly for a woman to wear. Work it girl - that's a great bag!
posted by en el aire at 8:48 AM on April 5, 2010
posted by en el aire at 8:48 AM on April 5, 2010
It's not very feminine, but it looks rugged and useful. I like it, and I am a fancy lady. In other words, uless it comes filled with a collection of fake beards and mustaches, I think you're good.
posted by chesty_a_arthur at 8:50 AM on April 5, 2010 [7 favorites]
posted by chesty_a_arthur at 8:50 AM on April 5, 2010 [7 favorites]
I like it. But I would say that the only relevant question is whether or not you yourself like the bag. You say you're "not girly at all" which makes me think it's probably not really a priority for you to be so. So if you like the bag, and it's functional, keep it. If on the other hand you're kind of on the fence about it anyway and you foresee feeling self-conscious knowing that some people will view the bag as "manly" then why not return it and get a bag that you're really into?
posted by Ginkgo at 8:52 AM on April 5, 2010
posted by Ginkgo at 8:52 AM on April 5, 2010
I think if you have been using it for 2-3 weeks, you cannot and should not return it. They accept only returns of unworn, unwashed, undamaged or defective merchandise. It's a great bag - women have taken over suit jackets, boots, heck we can even wear pants now. Tell your friends that say the bag makes you look like a man to shove it (with a smile).
posted by bunnycup at 8:52 AM on April 5, 2010 [1 favorite]
posted by bunnycup at 8:52 AM on April 5, 2010 [1 favorite]
It is like the bag version of a classic trench coat, appropriate for the girliest of girl or the tommest of boy.
posted by padraigin at 8:56 AM on April 5, 2010 [3 favorites]
posted by padraigin at 8:56 AM on April 5, 2010 [3 favorites]
Half of my friends say this makes me look like a man. The other half of my friends say it's awesome. What do you think?
You'll get the same "awesome bag!/mannish bag" split of opinions on MeFi that you get in real life. All that matters is what you think. (I think it's a great bag, and I regret going cheap and buying this one last week.)
posted by headnsouth at 8:59 AM on April 5, 2010
You'll get the same "awesome bag!/mannish bag" split of opinions on MeFi that you get in real life. All that matters is what you think. (I think it's a great bag, and I regret going cheap and buying this one last week.)
posted by headnsouth at 8:59 AM on April 5, 2010
Is it manly because it's not pink, frilly, or shiny? It doesn't seem manly to me, but if it bothers you, then return it.
posted by Mavri at 9:00 AM on April 5, 2010
posted by Mavri at 9:00 AM on April 5, 2010
I don't think it's too manly at all. I wouldn't bat an eyelid if I saw a girl with a bag like this. I've seen quite a few women sporting them around London.
posted by Hates_ at 9:00 AM on April 5, 2010
posted by Hates_ at 9:00 AM on April 5, 2010
No bag will make you "look like a man", that's bizarre. What your friends might be trying to say is that the bag is more "masculine" than the rest of your wardrobe, and therefore doesn't look right with what you presently wear. If the bag is more in line with the way you wish to present yourself, you might try tweaking the rest of your wardrobe appropriately.
posted by ThePinkSuperhero at 9:00 AM on April 5, 2010 [2 favorites]
posted by ThePinkSuperhero at 9:00 AM on April 5, 2010 [2 favorites]
Response by poster: awesome! I love this bag, and I am not at all girly and don't intend to be-- I probably would wear neither pink cashmere or camouflage, but I would rather get shot before I have to wear pink...or cashmere.
Good point bunnycup--- it looks exactly the same as the day i got it, so it didn't cross my mind that it's technically 'used"
posted by atetrachordofthree at 9:00 AM on April 5, 2010
Good point bunnycup--- it looks exactly the same as the day i got it, so it didn't cross my mind that it's technically 'used"
posted by atetrachordofthree at 9:00 AM on April 5, 2010
Half of my friends say this makes me look like a man. The other half of my friends say it's awesome. What do you think?
I think my response would be a scathing raised eyebrow of doom and a reminder that I'm not so much shaped like a man, so the bag is not really confusing anyone.
posted by desuetude at 9:06 AM on April 5, 2010
I think my response would be a scathing raised eyebrow of doom and a reminder that I'm not so much shaped like a man, so the bag is not really confusing anyone.
posted by desuetude at 9:06 AM on April 5, 2010
I think I'd be rethinking the friendship of those who say it makes you look like a man, personally.
When I was 10, and moved from the school I'd gone to all my life to a new, fancier school in another city, some of the girls were a little disconcerted by my choice in clothes. (Me then: camo t-shirts, camo army jacket, fedoras...basically, I was like the A-Team crossed with Pretty in Pink, and all my male friends at the old school always made ME be the girl when we "played A-Team on the playground, when I just wanted to be Hannibal, damn it...)
Anyhoo. Some of the new girls thought I was weird (ding ding ding!), and some went about trying to "change" me to be more "appropriate." I always thought, even at the tender age of 10, that it was kind of strange for them to want me to dress like a carbon copy of them (Limited! Forenza! Outback Red! ARGH). And until I got to know them better as people, I thought THEY were the weird ones.
So, long story short: it looks practical, durable and very very useful. If you also find this to be the case, who cares what they think? Or put a frickin' Hello Kitty pin on it or something and tell them to hush. :)
posted by bitter-girl.com at 9:14 AM on April 5, 2010
When I was 10, and moved from the school I'd gone to all my life to a new, fancier school in another city, some of the girls were a little disconcerted by my choice in clothes. (Me then: camo t-shirts, camo army jacket, fedoras...basically, I was like the A-Team crossed with Pretty in Pink, and all my male friends at the old school always made ME be the girl when we "played A-Team on the playground, when I just wanted to be Hannibal, damn it...)
Anyhoo. Some of the new girls thought I was weird (ding ding ding!), and some went about trying to "change" me to be more "appropriate." I always thought, even at the tender age of 10, that it was kind of strange for them to want me to dress like a carbon copy of them (Limited! Forenza! Outback Red! ARGH). And until I got to know them better as people, I thought THEY were the weird ones.
So, long story short: it looks practical, durable and very very useful. If you also find this to be the case, who cares what they think? Or put a frickin' Hello Kitty pin on it or something and tell them to hush. :)
posted by bitter-girl.com at 9:14 AM on April 5, 2010
That is a really great bag. I think anyone could carry it.
posted by pinky at 9:16 AM on April 5, 2010
posted by pinky at 9:16 AM on April 5, 2010
Like you, I'm short, not girly at all, medium build. I've often had bags like this. I couldn't imagine carrying something frillier or fancier on days I'm wearing something like a zip-up hoodie, jeans, and scuffed sneaks. Personally, I think it looks kind of bad-ass. I might also, though, have a different bag for more complex clothing days.
My vote is keep it.
posted by 1UP at 9:27 AM on April 5, 2010
My vote is keep it.
posted by 1UP at 9:27 AM on April 5, 2010
I would totally keep that bag, and despite having breasts, all I ever wear is camo, jeans, boots, and dude hats, so I think you're good.
posted by fairytale of los angeles at 9:34 AM on April 5, 2010
posted by fairytale of los angeles at 9:34 AM on April 5, 2010
It's not yet another slouchy, bedazzled hobo bag in some sherbet hue.
You're doing it right.
posted by slow graffiti at 9:34 AM on April 5, 2010 [5 favorites]
You're doing it right.
posted by slow graffiti at 9:34 AM on April 5, 2010 [5 favorites]
It really depends on your personal style. My initial reaction is that is probably too manly for a woman to carry for everyday use, but thats just my opinion.
posted by blueplasticfish at 9:48 AM on April 5, 2010
posted by blueplasticfish at 9:48 AM on April 5, 2010
Another vote for awesome.
posted by chez shoes at 9:52 AM on April 5, 2010
posted by chez shoes at 9:52 AM on April 5, 2010
It's a great bag, and, what bunnycup said. It is quite unreturnable. Used is used.
posted by kmennie at 9:55 AM on April 5, 2010
posted by kmennie at 9:55 AM on April 5, 2010
I wouldn't wear it, but I'm a very girly girl. You describe yourself as "not girly at all," and it seems that you really like the bag, so go for it!
posted by biochemist at 10:10 AM on April 5, 2010
posted by biochemist at 10:10 AM on April 5, 2010
*boggle* How is this "manly"? I guess I just don't get fashion or something. Looks like a great bag to me. If you like it, use it.
1UP makes a good point about it being less suitable for non-casual wear, but that would be true for guys too. Keep it, love it, don't let your friends tell you that a simple fashion accessory makes you look like a man, especially not a freakin messenger bag.
posted by ashirys at 10:14 AM on April 5, 2010
1UP makes a good point about it being less suitable for non-casual wear, but that would be true for guys too. Keep it, love it, don't let your friends tell you that a simple fashion accessory makes you look like a man, especially not a freakin messenger bag.
posted by ashirys at 10:14 AM on April 5, 2010
At 16" wide, that bag is pretty big.
As a short man myself, I prefer a smaller bag - about 13" wide. Whenever I see those bags online I think 'hey, nice bag' and then in person I realize 'whoa, way too big'.
That bag is awesome, but too big for even me.
posted by MesoFilter at 10:29 AM on April 5, 2010
As a short man myself, I prefer a smaller bag - about 13" wide. Whenever I see those bags online I think 'hey, nice bag' and then in person I realize 'whoa, way too big'.
That bag is awesome, but too big for even me.
posted by MesoFilter at 10:29 AM on April 5, 2010
I'm extremely feminine and I would use that bag. It's cute. Sometimes more "mannish" things actually make me feel more feminine because they emphasize my gender--if that makes sense? It's like the whole concept of the boyfriend sweater.
Plus I used to work retail and it's really not cool to return something you've already used.
posted by sallybrown at 10:30 AM on April 5, 2010
Plus I used to work retail and it's really not cool to return something you've already used.
posted by sallybrown at 10:30 AM on April 5, 2010
I don't find that too masculine at all. In a lot of parts of the world, many schools use something similar to that style as the required uniform school bag (for both men and women). Even if our opinions don't count (so to speak), bags like this have been increasingly popular these past few years, and the trend will most likely continue until everyone is absolutely sick of rustic looking messengers of all types. (Not that I mind. I love them for the time being and am actually shopping for a leather one)! Furthermore, mixing and matching trends (tastefully) has been huge this decade. A lot of frilly, ruffly romantic pieces mixed with harder, more traditionally masculine accessories and shoes. It the look works as a whole, and if you're truly comfortable with the bag, then just use it happily! (Added bonus: that bag actually looks great for school!)
And also, yes, it's definitely used, and I'm actually a little shocked and heartbroken to find that it might be considered returnable.
posted by mittenedsex at 10:34 AM on April 5, 2010
And also, yes, it's definitely used, and I'm actually a little shocked and heartbroken to find that it might be considered returnable.
posted by mittenedsex at 10:34 AM on April 5, 2010
I would say that if you're worried that something makes you look too masculine, compensate by making some other piece of your outfit equally feminine. This doesn't have to be something pink or cashmere; subletelty is probably the way to go here.
posted by nomad at 10:37 AM on April 5, 2010
posted by nomad at 10:37 AM on April 5, 2010
I think it is a great bag and not too masculine at all. It is a casual, vintagey and rugged looking bag, perfect for carrying your books to school or a change of clothes for an overnight road trip. I had a suede bag a lot like it that I used in grad school. That said, I wouldn't carry this bag to a job interview at a corporate office or to any event where you need to look professional unless you are a botanist, geologist or archeologist.
posted by pluckysparrow at 10:49 AM on April 5, 2010
posted by pluckysparrow at 10:49 AM on April 5, 2010
A bag can't make you look like a man. What kind of bag do they expect you to carry to look feminine? I don't really think they mean you look unfeminine. I would bet they aren't really thinking that deeply about it.
posted by anniecat at 10:52 AM on April 5, 2010
posted by anniecat at 10:52 AM on April 5, 2010
I don't really think they mean you look unfeminine.
I think they're saying the bag is "masculine" when what they really mean is that the bag is "ugly".
posted by ThePinkSuperhero at 11:03 AM on April 5, 2010 [1 favorite]
I think they're saying the bag is "masculine" when what they really mean is that the bag is "ugly".
posted by ThePinkSuperhero at 11:03 AM on April 5, 2010 [1 favorite]
It's a messenger bag. There really aren't very many ways to make a messenger bag "girly" or "pretty". I fail to see how, unless it has an iron-on patch declaring "I have a penis and Y chromosomes!", even the manliest of messenger bags or backpacks could make a woman look like a man. Messenger bags and backpacks are more often than not fairly gender-neutral or masculine, with the sole exception of frilly pink crap that isn't really suitable for anyone over 12.
I will say that I am a pretty girly-girl and I wouldn't think twice if any of my girlfriends were carrying that bag. It's not my style, I don't love it, and I wouldn't get it for myself, but it looks well-made, classic, and like it could very well be any number of women's perfect bag for toting books and stuff around. So, just take this as one girly-girl's confirmation that there is absolutely nothing wrong with your bag and you should continue enjoying it without any self-consciousness. And your friends are kind of jerks for telling you that your bag makes you look like a man.
posted by tastybrains at 11:20 AM on April 5, 2010
I will say that I am a pretty girly-girl and I wouldn't think twice if any of my girlfriends were carrying that bag. It's not my style, I don't love it, and I wouldn't get it for myself, but it looks well-made, classic, and like it could very well be any number of women's perfect bag for toting books and stuff around. So, just take this as one girly-girl's confirmation that there is absolutely nothing wrong with your bag and you should continue enjoying it without any self-consciousness. And your friends are kind of jerks for telling you that your bag makes you look like a man.
posted by tastybrains at 11:20 AM on April 5, 2010
I wouldn't be surprised to find a bag like that for sale at Anthropologie. I think it's fine, and there's no rule that your friends have to like your accessories.
posted by Metroid Baby at 11:34 AM on April 5, 2010
posted by Metroid Baby at 11:34 AM on April 5, 2010
Another vote for "it's just fine." I'm not a girly-girl, but I am pretty feminine, and to me it looks like a classic, unisex bag. If you want to girlify it a bit, take a little silk scarf in a pattern or a pretty color (doesn't have to be pink!) and tie it around the strap, where it attaches to the bag.
posted by DestinationUnknown at 12:23 PM on April 5, 2010
posted by DestinationUnknown at 12:23 PM on April 5, 2010
it's fine - if you want to fancy it up on special days, tie a nice silk scarf to it. I think the sparkly jangly monstrosities that a lot of women are lugging around these days are really tacky, so you're avoiting that fashion pitfall.
posted by 5_13_23_42_69_666 at 12:28 PM on April 5, 2010
posted by 5_13_23_42_69_666 at 12:28 PM on April 5, 2010
That bag looks classic and utilitarian at the same time. I obviously wouldn't carry it with a very dressy outfit, but other than that I don't see how that bag, all by itself, can possibly make you look like a man. At most, I think it's gamine.
Perhaps your friends are jealous of your timeless, practical good taste.
posted by tel3path at 1:33 PM on April 5, 2010
Perhaps your friends are jealous of your timeless, practical good taste.
posted by tel3path at 1:33 PM on April 5, 2010
Oh look what Louis Vuitton is selling these days to women: a $2000 handbag that looks like a plastic garbage bag. Here's another one - perhaps inspired by the shopping bags at IKEA? These must have passed through Louis Vuitton's "feminine enough" control point.
(...) women have taken over suit jackets, boots, heck we can even wear pants now.
This season every clothing store in the world is selling demin jackets and "boyfriend jeans" to women. Vogue (April 2010) recommends Oxford shoes (aka brogues) to women.
In other words: keep on using the bag. It looks like a well made, classic style bag that you could use for years. Also: it's big enough for a laptop. Coolmaterial.com suggests using the bag with jeans and a vintage t-shirt.
posted by iviken at 1:33 PM on April 5, 2010
(...) women have taken over suit jackets, boots, heck we can even wear pants now.
This season every clothing store in the world is selling demin jackets and "boyfriend jeans" to women. Vogue (April 2010) recommends Oxford shoes (aka brogues) to women.
In other words: keep on using the bag. It looks like a well made, classic style bag that you could use for years. Also: it's big enough for a laptop. Coolmaterial.com suggests using the bag with jeans and a vintage t-shirt.
posted by iviken at 1:33 PM on April 5, 2010
Maybe just, y'know... Ignore what your friends think and start being happy with what you think?
You obviously liked it enough to buy it. Why do you want others (Particularly internet others) to validate your purchase?
(And, and I think returning it would be immoral. You've used it now, you own it.)
posted by Quadlex at 3:26 PM on April 5, 2010
You obviously liked it enough to buy it. Why do you want others (Particularly internet others) to validate your purchase?
(And, and I think returning it would be immoral. You've used it now, you own it.)
posted by Quadlex at 3:26 PM on April 5, 2010
(33 year old Australian woman)
It's a great bag. I coveted it just looking at it, and I have three bags I'm very happy with.
I think it would look great with a beautiful tailored coat... ...which would emphasise your curves. ^_^
posted by Oceanesque at 5:25 AM on April 23, 2010
It's a great bag. I coveted it just looking at it, and I have three bags I'm very happy with.
I think it would look great with a beautiful tailored coat... ...which would emphasise your curves. ^_^
posted by Oceanesque at 5:25 AM on April 23, 2010
This thread is closed to new comments.
posted by thermonuclear.jive.turkey at 8:44 AM on April 5, 2010