Or I can put potassium bromide in my own tea?
April 4, 2010 7:33 AM Subscribe
How to cope with sexual desire in a long term relationship with a partner who is unable to participate due to chronic illness?
posted by anonymous to Human Relations (23 answers total) 9 users marked this as a favorite
The love of my life is significantly older than I am and he has vascular disease. We have been together for over 13 years and he still floats my boat but he can no longer sail it with me. Impotence has gradually crept in. We had a creative and satisfying sex life until about a year ago when arousal became extremely painful for him. He has moved to a separate bedroom to avoid this, and understandably it's not a subject that he wants to discuss.
I have the opportunity to discreetly entertain myself when the need arises, but I'm not finding it satisfying. Solo play feels boring and one dimensional and neither porn or toys are really helping.
Lately I've been feeling aroused by other men and have found myself fantasising about secret sexual (not romantic) encounters with them. I know that this would be a cruel and selfish thing to do and that it would destroy my most cherished relationship but I can't seem to avoid these thoughts. The idea of never having sex again is depressing. What can I do to help myself cope?
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