Has something inside died?
April 2, 2010 12:19 PM   Subscribe

Has something inside died?

Do you ever feel like something inside you has died and a whole aspect of who you are (or were, at least) is gone, but you can't quite seem to comprehend what it is you're missing?

[Or is that just me?]
posted by spaceandtime30 to Human Relations (8 answers total)

This post was deleted for the following reason: Sorry, without something more concrete or specific to go on this really isn't the sort of question askme can answer. -- cortex

 
Yeah, because even at the cellular level, we're not always the same.

There's certain parts of me that are dead, just because I'm older and wiser or older and more cynical or whatever. I think parts of you are supposed to die. You can't sustain all those varying degrees of belief in the world simultaneously, your beliefs at 7, your beliefs at 70.

Unless you mean literally, in which case, see a doctor.
posted by A Terrible Llama at 12:21 PM on April 2, 2010


This is awfully chatfiltery, isn't it? But:
  1. Yes.
  2. Sometimes it comes back.
  3. Sometimes it doesn't.
  4. Sometimes it's just a part of changing as you grow older.
  5. Sometimes medication or therapy can help.
HTH.
posted by hattifattener at 12:22 PM on April 2, 2010


You tagged this as Relationships. Did you just break up? Are you falling out of love with someone? Perhaps things are too tender to actually discuss with people you don't know (and who don't know you), so spend time by yourself and think, or find friends who know you and talk. Otherwise, we'll make up stuff and it won't help you, and may even lead you away from something that could help.

Good luck!
posted by filthy light thief at 12:27 PM on April 2, 2010 [1 favorite]


I wouldn't say "died." I would say "blossomed."
posted by anniecat at 12:28 PM on April 2, 2010


Yes. Specifically, personal growth. I've made some radical departures from the politics and faith I was raised with. They weren't decisions I made willy-nilly but they were processes that took years of soul-searching and cognitive dissonance. Sometimes when I compare where I am today with where I used to be, I can barely comprehend the gulf between the two. Sometimes I feel like there's very little of the old me still alive. Of course, I'm happy with where I am now, and I couldn't go back even if I wanted to. But when I talk with my family or my old friends who are still in the place I used to be and haven't changed at all, and often they assume I'm still there (resulting in some disconnect on a fundamental level) I can't shake the feeling that I'm the one who's broken. Because I deviated from a path that continues to work just fine for so many of the people I love.

I can, however, comprehend what's changed. But I do have a hard time articulating it in a way that makes sense in conversation. The changes are just too big to sum up in a few sentences, or without coming across as hostile. And though I'm *here* now, nobody who hasn't gone through the same process can understand why, at least on any meaningful level.
posted by The Winsome Parker Lewis at 12:32 PM on April 2, 2010


It's a matter of perspective. We all change - things that gave us great pleasure stop being enjoyable, relationships change in ways we can't accept - heck, even our taste in food changes over time. The important thing to remember is that other enjoyments take their place. If you feel that this isn't happening for you, that you're just losing enjoyment and not gaining anything else, then it's time to look at your life and mood.

In the scope of relationships, if this is what you are referring to, then give it some time. Relationships ebb and flow - sometimes we can't find that spark that drew us to the other person, but if the relationship will last it will come back. Take a little while to decide if it's really gone before making any drastic changes.

But, finally, to answer your question - yup, sometimes that feeling just dies - and that's it.
posted by The Light Fantastic at 12:34 PM on April 2, 2010


No, never.
posted by halogen at 12:35 PM on April 2, 2010


Sometimes hearts break, for real, and you lose something important. A lot of people will say that good comes out of bad, but usually that's only true if you make it happen.
posted by amtho at 12:38 PM on April 2, 2010


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