Suppressing Emotions During Conversations
April 2, 2010 9:34 AM Subscribe
What are some remedies to help combat getting caught up in a conversation or story emotionally? For example, what might prevent a story-teller from emotional break-down when telling a sappy or heartwarming tale?
This has nothing to do with depression. It's more like "tears of joy" ...only, I have no problem suppressing the actual tears. The issue is more or less related to slight changes in voice, facial expression, etc. (Hope that makes sense.)
I occasionally share heartwarming stories that tend to have an emotional impact on people... but even I have a hard time keeping my composure, even after having told them several times before.
In other cases, I may be in a conversation with people and will start to feel overwhelmed emotionally when I start thinking about the conversation, story or something else that's heartfelt... not usually in a bad way. It's just not appropriate in some cases (e.g. business conversations, public speeches, etc).
What are some remedies to build emotional strength so as to keep from showing any sign of emotion from my end? Are there any kinds of "happy pills" (supplements, not drugs) or exercises to boost my emotional strength for times when I know I'll need to keep myself together?
This has nothing to do with depression. It's more like "tears of joy" ...only, I have no problem suppressing the actual tears. The issue is more or less related to slight changes in voice, facial expression, etc. (Hope that makes sense.)
I occasionally share heartwarming stories that tend to have an emotional impact on people... but even I have a hard time keeping my composure, even after having told them several times before.
In other cases, I may be in a conversation with people and will start to feel overwhelmed emotionally when I start thinking about the conversation, story or something else that's heartfelt... not usually in a bad way. It's just not appropriate in some cases (e.g. business conversations, public speeches, etc).
What are some remedies to build emotional strength so as to keep from showing any sign of emotion from my end? Are there any kinds of "happy pills" (supplements, not drugs) or exercises to boost my emotional strength for times when I know I'll need to keep myself together?
Response by poster: Wow, very interesting, KathrynT. Thanks for the tip!
Do your eyebrows naturally move downward as you force your upper-lip muscles downwards? Mine do, though it's controllable if I concentrate on trying not to move my eyebrows (maybe that's normal). Not a big deal, in either case.
posted by purefusion at 10:42 AM on April 2, 2010
Do your eyebrows naturally move downward as you force your upper-lip muscles downwards? Mine do, though it's controllable if I concentrate on trying not to move my eyebrows (maybe that's normal). Not a big deal, in either case.
posted by purefusion at 10:42 AM on April 2, 2010
In a communications seminar I took (years ago), an instructor was talking about eye motions, and how the eye position of "staring off into space" varies depending on what we're thinking about (I think there was something about horizontal motion while trying to recall sounds, for example). I was looking for a web-link but didn't find one; there's too much eye-psychology noise out there for me to find what I was looking for.
In any case, one idea was that feeling overwrought and teary correlates with looking down (down and left?) so one way to stay in control of emotions is to consciously avoid looking down. For me, this also serves to keep my eyes very open (not a natural teary position), and remove any sense of personal space/refuge. This kind of works for me, but not perfectly, and KathrynT's sounds much more scientific, so I've got to try that.
posted by aimedwander at 11:06 AM on April 2, 2010
In any case, one idea was that feeling overwrought and teary correlates with looking down (down and left?) so one way to stay in control of emotions is to consciously avoid looking down. For me, this also serves to keep my eyes very open (not a natural teary position), and remove any sense of personal space/refuge. This kind of works for me, but not perfectly, and KathrynT's sounds much more scientific, so I've got to try that.
posted by aimedwander at 11:06 AM on April 2, 2010
yeah, they do. if the odd facial expression is going to be odd, you can hide it somewhat by passing your hand over your face (people do this anyway when they're feeling overwrought) or by opening your eyes extra-wide. Because people are cued to eyes, the wide eyes will distract them from what your nose and mouth are doing.
Well, that works when I'm singing, anyway, but my nose and mouth are already doing some pretty distracting things there -- I can't guarantee that this will be unnoticeable under less dramatic circumstances.
posted by KathrynT at 11:14 AM on April 2, 2010
Well, that works when I'm singing, anyway, but my nose and mouth are already doing some pretty distracting things there -- I can't guarantee that this will be unnoticeable under less dramatic circumstances.
posted by KathrynT at 11:14 AM on April 2, 2010
Response by poster: Actually, I think I'm going to notice it more in other singers now. :D
That may very well be helpful too, aimedwander. I'll definitely be giving both a try, and I appreciate you chiming in. :)
posted by purefusion at 11:54 AM on April 2, 2010
That may very well be helpful too, aimedwander. I'll definitely be giving both a try, and I appreciate you chiming in. :)
posted by purefusion at 11:54 AM on April 2, 2010
Some ideas: press fingernails into palm of other hand, softly bite inside of your cheek, pause and take a sip of water when flustered, think of really boring but complex things like tetris with all gray blocks, imagine everyone naked/with silly hats/as robots/falling over like dominos, or first think of much worse/more exciting things so relative to those you're not as sad/glad.
posted by meepmeow at 3:27 PM on April 2, 2010 [1 favorite]
posted by meepmeow at 3:27 PM on April 2, 2010 [1 favorite]
This thread is closed to new comments.
posted by KathrynT at 10:16 AM on April 2, 2010 [8 favorites]