How to Stop My Garden Hose From Being Stolen

April 1, 2010 5:29 PM

My garden hose was recently stolen from the side of the house and I really need to have a hose there. I've looked on the internet for some sort of hose protector and can't find anything. Can you guys think of any sort of way to protect a garden hose from being stolen?
posted by flarbuse to Home & Garden (15 answers total)

Are you handy with tools?

You could get some soft steel rod/ very heavy wire and wrap it around a wooden dowel (held steady in a vice) to form a corkscrew shape. Put it onto the hose, attach the hose to the faucet and then slide it to cover the coupling and take a couple of vice grips to narrow/crimp the ends tight enough that it stays captured by the coupling. A thief would probably look for a easier hose to steel.
posted by bonobothegreat at 5:38 PM on April 1, 2010

Yeah, the obvious solution is to take the hose into your house after you are done using it.

If you are using it to drain water from, say, your basement or roof then the answer is to get the root of the problem fixed. then maybe irate neighbors won't steal your hose.

If you are irrigating plants or something, bury it.
posted by Max Power at 5:38 PM on April 1, 2010

Find a padlock like this one that is big enough to close around the hose, but small enough that it won't slip over the threaded connector ends of the hose when the lock is closed.

Then, get a chain or cable that you can squeeze into the padlock at the same time as it's closed over the hose, and thread the chain around something immovable, like pipes, or a tree, or something else sturdy. That should anchor the hose pretty securely, and still allow free use of the hose.

Hope that made sense.
posted by Salvor Hardin at 5:42 PM on April 1, 2010

I also thought of advising you to build or buy a closed-circuit burglar alarm that would be tripped when the electrical contact between the hose connector and the faucet was broken, but that seemed a bit overcomplex. But if you happen to be an electrical engineer or something, that would probably work too.
posted by Salvor Hardin at 5:44 PM on April 1, 2010

When you buy a new hose, before you uncoil it, spray paint it with two or three bright colors. If your thief is somebody who lives nearby, they won't want to steal a readily identifiable hose. Second, buy a quick disconnect coupling for the faucet and the hose. This will make it easier to disconnect it and more likely that you will put it away when you are done using it.
posted by Old Geezer at 5:49 PM on April 1, 2010 [3 favorites]

A storage box? That is the way it is done dockside. The hose goes into the dock box, and has to be brought out when you want to use it. If you don't put it in the dock box, and lock it, everyone else assumes it's free to use.

This one even has a place for a lock. It's one thing to steal a hose, another thing to steal a locked box with a hose in it.
posted by 517 at 6:04 PM on April 1, 2010 [1 favorite]

Wrap it at intervals with duct tape to make it look old and leaky.
posted by weapons-grade pandemonium at 6:59 PM on April 1, 2010 [3 favorites]

If you decide to go the take-it-inside route, there are hose reels with wheels that would make it pretty easy to manage.
posted by puritycontrol at 7:26 PM on April 1, 2010

Put a small sign next to the hose that reads "ATTENTION THIEVES: PLEASE SMILE FOR THE CAMERA."
posted by Cool Papa Bell at 7:41 PM on April 1, 2010

How often do you need to disconnect the hose? If it's only once per season, a layer of anti-vandal/anti-climb paint to teh coupling at the tap will do the trick. This is a thick, greasy paint that dries to the touch, but turns into a slimy mess if any force is applied.

It usually has instructions for removal; enough rags should do it. It's really vile stuff.
posted by scruss at 8:14 PM on April 1, 2010

JB Weld a metal ring to the brass collar that you use to attach the hose to the spigot. Use a padlock/bike cable to lock the hose to the spigot or other nearby solidity.
posted by dirtdirt at 8:16 PM on April 1, 2010

Buy a 60 lb sack of Quikrete concrete mix. Add water. and stir Dip a 1' to 2' section of hose into the wet concrete mix. Once it sets, your hose will be encased in concrete.

(If you're only planning to use the hose from this one faucet on the size of your house, then a concrete anchor should not be a big issue to you. It should be a big issue to a thief.)
posted by Andy's Gross Wart at 8:38 PM on April 1, 2010 [5 favorites]

Pipe clamp, D-shaped, use security screws.
posted by dhartung at 8:57 PM on April 1, 2010

Garden hose theft seems pretty random and not terribly common. A very nice hose costs 20 or 30 dollars. I would just buy a new hose and see if it gets stolen also. If it does then I'd start thinking about securing it, after one theft not so much.
posted by nanojath at 9:13 PM on April 1, 2010 [1 favorite]

Yeah, I've never had a hose stolen even though it sits at the side of my front porch and is very noticeable from the sidewalk. But I have had two cords of firewood stolen from my back yard which is not at all eye-accessible from the front or the back. It's just not that desirable an item - if it happens again then I'd worry about it.
posted by FlamingBore at 7:14 AM on April 2, 2010