Drowning financially due to debt and job
March 10, 2010 8:01 AM Subscribe
Financial life in chaos. Now what?
posted by anonymous to Work & Money (24 answers total) 9 users marked this as a favorite
Another day of savings/checking down to zero and totally sick of it.
I make close to six figures. However, I also pay 90% of bills from my check (utilities, groceries, doc bills), including $300 min payments on a $15k credit card. Mortgage $1,680 (including taxes). In short, two of the biggest bills.
Spouse makes about $30k with owning their own business but it's not growing. The business has been in maintenance mode or losing money. It's not that they're not trying but it's a discretionary income-reliant business. Clients are slow to pay or are dropping. I rather not outright say the business (search engine possibility) but it's in the animal industry with things that swim (hopefully that's enough info).
We have a child and we were spending $800-1200 on nanny care. No, we don't have family options and day care wasn't in the cards per pediatrician (he was sick a lot and we needed him healthy). So now, spouse stays home 3 days and pays worker to do the job. He then works 2 days so he doesn't have to pay worker. The goal was to save money on the nanny but also give me lump sums so I can pay down my cards. Well 3 months into it, it isn't happening. They're paying off other bills or something comes up so helping me out gets pushed off farther and farther and our debt, bills, bank account to zero is a non stop cycle.
He's been doing this for almost 10 years and has tried all sorts of angles including cutting ties with partners so a 50% profit share and overhead isn't happening anymore.
We're drowning. I think it's time for a part time job. They say no way (thinking nights won't pay enough). Won't do weekends either since they cherish their weekends.
So I said figure out how to keep the business with the worker but it's probably time to reenter the 9-5 work force. No luck. Two resumes went out. Nothing. I can also tell they don't want to "quit' and reenter the work force. All I hear is "this is the economy, even union workers are out of work." Finally, no college degree makes finding a 9-5 job difficult.
I barely see our child during the week due to my hours/commuiting (2 hours tops) and honestly, I feel that this financial burden isn't because of me. I did everything possible to get us out of debt but possibly screwed us into deeper debt and now I can't figure how to get out of it. We cashed out on a refi, I let them pay off all their cards.
I can't save anything from my check. I did an Excel budget to know where things are going. Med bills are coming in from child's hospital stay. I tried debt consolidation--I make too much. I asked about bankrupcy options for the card--again, I make too much.
This is taking a significant toll on my mental health. I wasn't raised to take on debt but ever since I've been married (almost 10 years) now I constantly swim in it. I'm at wits end thinking if this continues, we won't have a retirement, no savings, how the heck am I going to buy another car down the road when this one breaks? I'm putting away 10% of income for 401k, gifts from child's bdays, etc is all I can rely on for a college fund.
I don't know what to do? Divorce? Sell the house ( a complete failure to me and spouse refuses)? In this economy, I can't make any more money. I think they need to pony up and get a second job, new job, something---but they refuse. So what does someone do to get out of this?
Yes, I made mistakes in the past financially but the last 2 years, I've been hard nose to the grindstone on a budget, cutting costs, not spending unless it's necessary. What does someone do?