Mixing work with online dating

March 4, 2010 5:42 PM

I am on an online dating site. Someone at my work emails me. Do I respond?

We have only met a few times and that was several months ago but we work in the same building. He emailed me and gave no indication that he recognizes me. There is a 50-50 chance we will work together on a project in the future.

Do I just ignore the email or do I respond?

If I respond, is it bad to admit there is an interest?

In case it matters, I'm a late 30s female.

posted by anonymous to Human Relations (4 answers total)

Simply ask yourself what a realistic worst-case scenario would be if you two dated and it didn't work out. Plenty of co-workers date (and might not make it public within the company until things are solid)... if you have had bad history for drama in the past, maybe let this one pass. If you can count on yourself not to go crazy if this doesn't work out, maybe see what happens. I'm never one to pass up the chance to see what might be.
posted by lizbunny at 5:47 PM on March 4, 2010

How does your workplace feel about employee dating?
posted by fairytale of los angeles at 5:51 PM on March 4, 2010

workplace policy is important. check that, first.

then gutcheck if you could work effectively with someone after an awkward date or who actively "did you wrong", because there's always the possibility things could go awry even if they work out for a bit.

lastly, i'd observe him (casually; don't stalk him) at work to see how he treats other people and if he's the type of person i'd like to get to know better.

if you don't want to date him after one or all of those checks, don't write back. if he ever asks about it, just say you don't date co-workers.

otherwise, have at.
posted by batmonkey at 1:50 AM on March 5, 2010

Back when I was working in the typical office-environment, I got some sage advice from one of my earliest bosses - he called it the work-dating rule:

I don't eat where I shit and I don't shit where I eat.

Kinda obscene, but I took the advice to heart and not dating in the work-place always worked out for me. Then I got into consulting and that crazy project-based lifestyle blew all that right out.
posted by allkindsoftime at 4:23 AM on March 5, 2010 [1 favorite]