Yer crossing the line, buck-o...
March 1, 2010 3:44 PM Subscribe
Inappropriate flirting from a manager at work during an outing Friday evening... he apologized, I'm not going to get him in trouble for sexual harassment here, but I need advice on tactfully dodging this sort of situation in the future.
posted by anonymous to Work & Money (23 answers total) 4 users marked this as a favorite
Female engineer, late 20s, been working in this project management company for five months now, male-dominated environment of course. The guy in question is not in my department, single and 40, but he is a manager.
We were all out for drinks on Friday night to welcome some new transfers to our office, and towards the end this manager was drunk and repeatedly putting his hand on my knee and being rather attentive. I was inebriated by the time I realized that there's some gravity to his actions, and possible ramifications. I totally froze on what to do and played oblivious, let him use my leg as a hand-rest (and thanked god he didn't move it anywhere else). I know I wasn't doing any intentional flirting on my end, especially not reciprocating any physical contact or encouraging remarks, just acting like there was nothing unusual about the situation. This morning he apologized in private, and said it wouldn't happen again.
Given that it wasn't something that really made me uncomfortable in itself, just the fact he was a superior and that's wrong, and he apologized... filing a harassment suit would be all negative outcome in my mind, let's leave out comments voting for his tar and feathering. I've told a few people in private, so if this ever did escalate to something I have to put a stop to, I've got backup.
This is in all likelihood probably going to happen again at some point. There's a drinking culture at work, networking is achieved best by going out for drinks with the project leaders and being one of the boys. Generally I'm treated like an apprentice and daughter, but it's not hard to imagine that on occasion one of the unattached workaholics will suddenly feel otherwise as they know I'm unwed. This doesn't really bother me in itself, but I do need some tips on what to do to in the future to discourage such advances in a tactful and light-hearted way, i.e. without ruining the sense of comraderie and leaving people feeling uncomfortable like I am (and the manager is) right now.