Is a 20 character last name ridiculous?
February 27, 2010 2:34 PM   Subscribe

How long is too long for a hyphenated last name?

I already have a long last name (11 letters) and my boyfriend's is 8. I know it won't always fit on forms, but does that create real problems? Does anyone know people with this kind of ridiculous situation?

Anon because I'm not engaged and don't people I know think I'm silly. Boyfriend and I have talked about it, though (possibly both of us doing it).
posted by anonymous to Society & Culture (44 answers total) 1 user marked this as a favorite
 
I don't know about the bureaucracy problems angle. But as for the ridiculousness ... for hundreds of years, my female ancestors had surnames like "Melendez y Garcia de Rivera" ... the surname of their father, their mother, and their husband. That's how most people did it in that time and place. I don't think it was stupid, but rather interesting and cool. I don't think there's a right, wrong, or ridiculous way to do these things.
posted by Ashley801 at 2:39 PM on February 27, 2010


Who cares what anyone but you and your boyfriend think?
posted by mreleganza at 2:39 PM on February 27, 2010


It's really all up to you. Having such a long name would mean that you'd have to spell it out every time you call for any service. People will often get it wrong and you'd have to exceed spaces on forms and such. It most likely wont fit on credit cards (and other membership cards).

If keeping the names are really important to you, see if you can make one of those a second middle name. That way it stays with you but does not have to interfere with day to day stuff.
posted by special-k at 2:42 PM on February 27, 2010


You and he (and your kids, if you have them) are the ones who'll have to live with it. Do what will make you happy.
posted by sallybrown at 2:42 PM on February 27, 2010 [1 favorite]


I refer you to Admiral The Hon. Sir Reginald Aylmer Ranfurly Plunkett-Ernle-Erle-Drax, KCB, DSO, JP, DL.

That's too long. He apparently called himself Reginald Drax.

The Swedish actress Noomi Rapace (née Norén) is married to Ola Rapace (born Pär Ola Norell). They both changed their name to a jointly chosen married name.

Perhaps that's an option?
posted by MuffinMan at 2:44 PM on February 27, 2010 [1 favorite]


And signing all those bill-payment checks will likely become very monotonous. And as special-k said about many forms will not allow that number of letters. But whatever floats your boat.
posted by JayRwv at 2:44 PM on February 27, 2010


My last name is 11 letters and if changing it wasn't such a hassle I would be known as fixedgear smith. Can't imagine saddling someone with my name in addition to theirs, or worse yet, kids.
posted by fixedgear at 2:46 PM on February 27, 2010


I think it depends, to a great extent, on how common your surnames are, and how easy they are to misspell.

I know a guy with a long hyphenated last name. It takes the form:

[Common 10-letter name, but one that has multiple variants and is often misspelled]-[Unusual 7-letter name]

It's much harder for people to remember how to spell two names than one; hence, his name gets misspelled all the time. I haven't asked, but I imagine it's a big bureaucratic pain in the ass.

(Then again, my last name is short, fairly common, and written phonetically. Everyone spells it wrong regardless. If the same thing happens with yours already, it might not make much of a difference!)
posted by decagon at 2:48 PM on February 27, 2010


I think in the case of two long names being joined, this will be hassle for you in today's computerized age. Better to keep it simple and choose one or the other, or a new name, or combine them into one name. Like if it were Goldsmith-Chadwick you could be Chadsmith.
posted by amethysts at 2:56 PM on February 27, 2010


I've heard that a trend these days is to merge rather than hyphenate - like, first syllable of one name combined with the last syllable of the other. Doesn't always work, of course, and it really requires both you and boyfriend to change to the merged version.
posted by Phanx at 2:56 PM on February 27, 2010


I think it's more in terms of syllables than characters... 5 syllables is the upper edge, I think. I don't see any point in hyphenating unless you've made a career with your maiden name, like a doctor. That said, my mom's rheumatologist has a hyphenated name (such as Dr. Johanson-St. John) and everyone calls her Dr. Johanson.

But I don't think you should give your (at this point hypothetical) kids hyphenated names.

Chocolate Pickle: "either take his name or keep your own. "

There is a third option... make up a new one. It can be a combination of your names or something out of the blue.
posted by IndigoRain at 2:57 PM on February 27, 2010


I kept my maiden name as part of my last name when I got married (at the age of 39) for multiple reasons. I was already a published author with my maiden name and I was the legal guardian of my sister's three children (same surname as my maiden name). FWIW, I have two last names, no hyphen (does that make it less pretentious or idiotic?).

Every once in a while it becomes annoying when not being able fill in forms (maiden name + husband's name = 13 letters). Several of my credit cards have a mangled version of my last name on them but it has NEVER been a problem per say.

Having been married 5.5 years, I find myself using my maiden name sans married name still at work because that is how they know me (I've worked at the same place for almost 25 years). On the other hand, if I call up a friend of my husband's family I generally introduce myself using only his surname so people know who I am (none of them knew me by my maiden name).

Decide what's best for you, know that there are longer names out there than what you may be contemplating (19 + letters) and remember that you can adapt in the future as needed! Good Luck!
posted by labwench at 2:57 PM on February 27, 2010


I once had a housemate with a 24-letter, double-hyphenated surname.

Mostly people referred to him by only his last surname; forms, letters, account names and membership cards often had a reduced-length version (such as "Mr S-J-Doe" instead of "Mr Smith-Jones-Doe").

That said, most of the organisations likely to make a fuss about full names and ID seemed to be able to handle long names, if not print them on letters. Mostly it caused small, rather than large, inconveniences. However, he once told me that if he ever gets married, he hopes to drop switch to a single surname.
posted by Mike1024 at 3:08 PM on February 27, 2010


Stephanie Pearl-McPhee has a blog post about being denied boarding on a flight because the computer borked her last name and the person behind the counter wouldn't budge on the requirement for ticket to match ID.

So, yes, it causes problems.
posted by bilabial at 3:12 PM on February 27, 2010 [1 favorite]


My last name is 11 letters long (and challenges people on spelling), my wife's is 9. This much I know: A 20-letter hyphenated last name is too long. And I'm guessing 19 isn't much better.
posted by tommasz at 3:25 PM on February 27, 2010


Is a 20 character last name ridiculous?

My god, yes. Thinking about the mistakes that could happen with the spelling of this long name resulting in plane boarding denials, difficulty crossing borders with tight security, misplaced medical records, and just filling out forms with 20 letters over and over makes me sweat with anxiety.
posted by meerkatty at 3:33 PM on February 27, 2010 [1 favorite]


My last name is 6 letters long and my formerly married last name (not hyphenated but like Hillary Rodham Clinton) was 18 letters long. My driver's license was cut off in mid-name, my social security card was two lines long and I also once had airline problems that bilabial mentioned because I tended to go by my maiden name anyway since my married name was so long.

So to also answer your question just based on annoyance, yes it can be annoying and problematic if it is lengthy. As was mentioned above, however, people do have long last names and they just have to work around the number of boxes.
posted by Wuggie Norple at 3:40 PM on February 27, 2010


I have no idea, but I found this interesting.
posted by tellumo at 3:42 PM on February 27, 2010


As someone with a 18 character hyphenated last name (my parent's choice), I can tell you that it's not worth the hassle. You mention forms not having enough space - but what that leads to is tons of situations where airline people, customer service reps, conference registration folks and others can't find your name. Then there's all the computer systems that can't accept hyphen. All in all, there probably 30 different versions of my name (including simple misspellings) that are in various systems. Just recently, I moved to Massachusetts - and their driver's license system has a limit of 15 or so characters for last name, plus no hyphens. So, my new driver's license has a squished together, shortened version of my name that is far enough from my actual name that I can't use my driver's license as an official form of ID when going to the airport. I have to lug my passport around even for short domestic flights.
posted by purplevelvet at 3:47 PM on February 27, 2010 [1 favorite]


Yet another option: Use both names, sans hyphen, with the first one acting as more of an extra middle name than a surname.
posted by Sys Rq at 4:15 PM on February 27, 2010


amethysts:

I think in the case of two long names being joined, this will be hassle for you in today's computerized age.

I actually came into this post to say the exact opposite. I don't know about you all but I don't actually have to give my name that often anymore. Once I sign up for new jobs, insurance, etc. it's done. Anything else is done by ID or account numbers.

As another data point, I worked on a project for my company where we were designing new insurance ID cards. The vendor who we hired to work with -- whose job it was to design these things and is the industry leader, recommended that we leave space for at least 28 characters for the last name. We went with 32 because we actually had somebody in our database who had 29 (plus a 12 character first name...no seriously) Granted, these outliers were a pain in our sides, but it's not like we were ever going to hold that against them. :)

On other projects, in designing data extracts and other mailing files with a set length data limit, for sending files to Medicaid and other state files, the last name was always at last 25 characters.

Other places might not be as customer service friendly as a state agency... well, you see how silly now that sounds don't you? So you should do what you like, depending on how often you end up in new situations where you have to give your name. I've always liked the idea of combining the two names into a new third name, since it's such a way to represent the blending of your two family histories. But I'm a gay dude, so I've given issues like this a lot of thought from outside the box.
posted by MCMikeNamara at 4:19 PM on February 27, 2010


I know a couple who, when they got married, each changed part of their name. She changed her middle name to her maiden name, and took his name as her new last name. He changed his middle name to her maiden name. The result:

Jane Maiden Married
Joe Maiden Married

All spelled out, it looks much like what you and your boyfriend are discussing, but with much simpler logistics.
posted by ambrosia at 4:20 PM on February 27, 2010


I should mention, though: My middle name is my mother's not-remotely-first-namey maiden name, and since my driver's license looks like
SURNAME
FIRST MIDDLE,
whenever I hand it over to someone behind a desk, they will invariably interpret FIRST MIDDLE as FIRST LAST, and tell me I'm not in their system. Kinda irritating.
posted by Sys Rq at 4:23 PM on February 27, 2010


Had I hyphenated, my last name would've been 21 characters (including the hyphen). I ended up turning my maiden name into my middle name.
posted by Lucinda at 4:23 PM on February 27, 2010


Also, in relation to my post, if you do decide to go with the "inconvenient" last name, if you get into situations with companies or governmental organizations where they give you trouble based on their form, don't put up with it.

Because "unusual" surnames are often tied to people's ethnicity or religion in people's minds (whether or not this is actually true, it's treated as a "sensitive" subject), they often will (and should in my opinion) bend over backwards to make sure your identity -- which is what your name is, whether you were given it at birth or chose it -- is respected.
posted by MCMikeNamara at 4:24 PM on February 27, 2010 [2 favorites]


My mother and my sister use Firstname Maiden Married (no hyphen, 18 characters for Mom's last names, 17 for my sister's) for everything where it's convenient, and Firstname Married for anything that isn't. Legally, only Married is the last name, but they act as if Maiden Married was. They find it to be convenient and flexible, and have never had a problem with bureaucracy because of it.
posted by ocherdraco at 5:18 PM on February 27, 2010


bilabial: "Stephanie Pearl-McPhee has a blog post about being denied boarding on a flight because the computer borked her last name and the person behind the counter wouldn't budge on the requirement for ticket to match ID.

So, yes, it causes problems.
"

That story has nothing to do with the length of her name, though. That was the fault of the hyphen (or the computer program) and doesn't really address the OP's length question.

Perhaps there is a difference between a 15 character name and a 20, but in my experience having a long last name has been perfectly fine. My last name has 15 characters (including a space and a hyphen) and is tough to spell for most people. It nearly always gets cut off, but I've had more problems due to misspelling/the space than length. These 'problems' have been very correctable, minor annoyances. I've never had trouble with academic records or flights or anything serious like that. Not yet anyway.
posted by prettaygood at 5:23 PM on February 27, 2010


Speaking as somebody who has to create email addresses and database profiles for people with ridiculous 3 part last names not to mention Von or O', allow me to suggest that you combine both names in a bag of scrabble tiles and pull out 10 letters to make your new combined name.
posted by Megafly at 5:59 PM on February 27, 2010 [2 favorites]


My wife and I did what ambrosia mentioned except that my wife didn't have a middle name prior to marriage, and I kept the middle name I already had. So, our legal last name has a space and is 15 characters long (including the space). That length hasn't really been an issue with forms or anything; the space has caused a lot more issues, but nothing too horrible, and most of the confusion it generates is useful -- it's pretty easy to spot junk mail, for example, because they never get the name thing right...
posted by genehack at 6:04 PM on February 27, 2010


My surname is a a 9-6 double-barrel, and you will not believe the complications this has created in trying to accomplish what one would imagine to be mundane tasks, such as opening a bank account (HSBC and Barclay's pretty much flat out refused to deal with me at all, as they insisted on sending me through a computerised system that insisted I spell my name with "letters only" when I used a hyphen or space, and didn't fit more than 12 characters), registering for a doctor, getting bills transferred to my name, and proving my identity (three documents with three different spellings and layouts does not put everyone at ease).
posted by Dysk at 6:06 PM on February 27, 2010


I'm a 5-7 hyphenate, and I also go by Mylasthislast and Mylast Hislast. I don't regret the hyphen but it's a PITA. Beware the annoying logistics of anything longer.
posted by chesty_a_arthur at 6:46 PM on February 27, 2010


We would've been at almost 20 if we hyphenated, and for me, that is just too long.
posted by ThePinkSuperhero at 8:30 PM on February 27, 2010


I should point out that having a short last name doesn't necessarily guarantee that you won't have to spell it for everybody. My last name is four letters long. It comes from Spanish, which you'd think would be easy enough. And yet I'm still always spelling it.
posted by madcaptenor at 8:35 PM on February 27, 2010


ambrosia: "She changed her middle name to her maiden name"

I realize that this is common, but I am among the women who has no intention of ditching a great middle name to replace it with a constantly-mispronounced last name. Besides, my mom gave me my middle name and I don't want to ditch it.
posted by IndigoRain at 8:58 PM on February 27, 2010 [1 favorite]


Interesting that most of the people opposed to names like this are the ones who don't have them.
posted by prettaygood at 9:13 PM on February 27, 2010


A good friend has four last names for a total of 35 characters. She is from Spain, where you usually have two (one from mom and one from dad), but if both mom and dad are from important old families who do not want to be left out, you get both of mom's and both of dad's. She mostly thinks it is funny how much people have trouble with it.
posted by Nothing at 9:24 PM on February 27, 2010 [1 favorite]


Maybe this is a cultural thing, but I'm a little shocked at how easily some of you seem to be willing to give up your names to make it easier to deal with petty bureaucrats.

I'll quote what I wrote in an earlier thread:


Well, I can certainly sympathise. Married Dutch women (if they take their husband's name at all - most did in my parent's generation, very few do now) will have their name listed as Maiden name [hyphen] Married name on official documents.
Kids typically take the father's name.

An Anglo-American girlfriend from years ago insisted that we hyphenate for children's names if we ever had any (presumably the American influence - the English typically don't hyphenate their names as it can seem a bit social-climby1). However she already had a last name with spaces and a hyphen (it had been like that for four generations at this point).
My last name has two spaces in it. Neither of us were willing to give up any part of our names. So if we'd had kids their last names would have been:

Jones-de Belby - von den Belsennaer

I've changed the names slightly for obvious reasons, but you get the idea. That's a 35 character last name with two hyphens, three spaces, three words that capitalise in a non Anglo-standard way2, and a long word in an archaic Dutch spelling! Once you add a first name and two to three middle names on to that, you'd be damned lucky to come in under 60 characters.

You know what though? I'm sure I'd have done it anyway, and to hell with whatever difficulties it causes. I have plenty of trouble with my name, the full version doesn't fit on anything, but I take a great deal of pride in it, and I'm not about to change it just to save a few minutes at passport control.

(1) I saw someone upthread mention aristocratic pretensions. Many English people with double barrelled names are from the upper classes. Typically this would happen when the husband came from a much less important family than the wife, especially if she had no brothers to carry on the name.

(2) The "correct" way to capitalise last names with particles like "von und zu X", "van den X", or "de X" is to capitalise only the "X". Also, these names should be alphabetised by the "X".
I put "correct" in quotation marks because all bets are off when it comes to Americans who may not do this for their own names, obviously I'm not telling anyone how to capitalise their own names.

posted by atrazine at 10:14 PM on February 27, 2010 [3 favorites]


I have a 6+7 surname which causes occasional form field-length issues but the most amazing problem is that people DON'T KNOW WHAT A HYPHEN IS. You see all sorts of crazy shit (mostly apostrophes, sometimes commas or underscores, once I got an asterisk) when you get mail from a company that you've given your name to over the phone or something.

And dealing with Indian call centres? Not cool.

I don't mind my name at all (I'm used to it), even though I like to quip that I was the last kid in primary school to learn to spell their name. My girlfriend has made it clear she doesn't want it though...
posted by polyglot at 4:31 AM on February 28, 2010


I have a 13-letter hyphenated name and that's about as long as I would comfortably go. I often don't use one or the other name unless I'm signing a legal document, and it confounds the election polling officials every single time I vote, even though I give them my official government ID that has my name on it. That's annoying. And my kids' school got confused when they did the address/phone directory so I ended up just using the last part of the name, but I attribute that more to the conservative area we live in instead of my name being confusing.

When I got married and hyphenated my last name with my husband's last name, my then 10-year-old nephew thought it appropriate to tell me I wasn't obeying God's will. That was fun.
posted by cooker girl at 9:40 AM on February 28, 2010


I have a hyphenated last name, had it since birth, don't like it. Mine is 13 characters long w/o hyphen. Gets messed up all the time - people assume the second part is my "real" last name and file things under that, many reservations and other systems don't accept a hypen as part of a last name. Just makes things difficult. On the other hand, there's only one person in the whole world with my last name, so I'm much more google-able. Whether that's good or not so good depends on the person I guess.
posted by lorrer at 10:41 AM on February 28, 2010


I knew a couple who kept their own last names, but adopted each other's last name as their new middle name. So, John Smith and Jane Doe married and became John Doe Smith (last name Smith) and Jane Smith Doe (last name Doe). I didn't know them well enough to ask what they did about their daughter's name.
posted by bentley at 8:33 PM on February 28, 2010


I have a hyphenated last name: 14 characters, including the hyphen. In college, they mushed the first and second words together and put in as many letters as they could fit in the form, so I ended up as something like Firstwordseco on every class attendance sheet.

About twenty years ago, there was a piece in the Washington Post about a woman in Alexandria or Arlington Heights who tried to register her newborn as Christopher, but the city's computerized forms didn't allow for that many letters, so the kid was officially Christophe. The woman was not amused.
posted by bentley at 9:05 PM on February 28, 2010


bentley, in 1983 my parents almost named me Christopher, but they didn't, because my father was afraid that might happen.
posted by madcaptenor at 8:17 PM on March 1, 2010


About twenty years ago, there was a piece in the Washington Post about a woman in Alexandria or Arlington Heights who tried to register her newborn as Christopher, but the city's computerized forms didn't allow for that many letters, so the kid was officially Christophe. The woman was not amused.

My husband gets mail all the time like that. I call him "CHRISTOFEEEEEEEEE" when that happens.

(my poor husband. 11 letter first name, 8 letter middle name, 10 letter last name. No wonder our kid has a 4 letter first name.)
posted by Lucinda at 7:44 AM on March 3, 2010


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