Bringing my A Game to my marriage
February 24, 2010 11:21 AM   Subscribe

Super special marriage reconnection events- lay it on me

My wife and I have very different schedules. When we are together, we end up vegging in front of the TV. I am looking for something really special to do, other than going out to dinner or to a movie.

Give me your best ideas to help me surprise and wow her. We are in colorado springs if that helps at all.

I want to bring my A Game.
posted by TheBones to Human Relations (14 answers total) 27 users marked this as a favorite
 
The biggest thing is to regularly break out of your routine. Take her to:
* A cooking class
* A concert
* A picnic
* A museum
* An art gallery
* A play
* A walk
* Plan a vacation or road trip
* Back to the place you proposed to her
* Hiking
* Skiing
* Snowshoeing
* An author talk
* A poetry reading

Buy her a greeting card. Buy one every day for a week. Leave hints/notes/gifts in her purse, car, dresser drawers, etc. Buy a book of romantic ideas. The possibilities are endless.
posted by cnc at 11:31 AM on February 24, 2010


I'm sure lots of folks will have a lot of good short term ideas on wowing and surprises but...

A thing to consider as a longer term solution: Stop having TV. MY wife and I dropped our big cable package because we were trying to save some money, but it had a ton of unexpected benefits.
Our schedules also overlap in an awkward way. Not having TV forces us to find something else to do to entertain ourselves. It helps make the most out of short or late evenings.
posted by French Fry at 11:39 AM on February 24, 2010 [1 favorite]


Response by poster: We play scrabble or dice while watching TV. We have a couple of shows we follow, so we don't just turn it on and tune out.

I definitely couldn't live without LOST. I'm not quite sure what I'm gonna do after the show's finale.

We ski together a good bit, which is fun, but not as romantic as I would like to be.
posted by TheBones at 11:42 AM on February 24, 2010


There was a neat askme not too long ago. " How do you bond with you SO " It had some great ideas. http://ask.metafilter.com/146217/Two-tickets-to-paradise-please
posted by beccaj at 11:43 AM on February 24, 2010


Response by poster: will check it out, thanks.
posted by TheBones at 11:48 AM on February 24, 2010


I think it's be valuable not just to break out of your routine, but to show that you've been paying attention to her secret desires. So that means, in part, that there's no one-size-fits-all answer here. Is there any activity that she's hinted she'd like to try (or conversely, activity that she used to enjoy and no longer does because she's settled into the grownup-married-adult-work routine)? Place she'd like to go? Band she secretly or overtly loves? DIY project you could tackle together?

If you've no clue, then for goodness sake, start talking to her and asking her questions that will elicit these sorts of details: your apparent interest will be good for the relationship, even if you *never* take her swimming with the dolphins in Aruba.
posted by drlith at 11:54 AM on February 24, 2010 [1 favorite]


Dinner and a night in a local posh hotel or a weekend at a nearby B&B make a nice getaway.
posted by DarlingBri at 11:56 AM on February 24, 2010


Trip to Hawaii to watch the finale of LOST? But maybe that's more for you than her. But still . . .
posted by Sassyfras at 12:45 PM on February 24, 2010


How about taking horseback riding lessons together? Or geocaching? Horseback riding and geocaching are always the right answers.
posted by Sassyfras at 12:46 PM on February 24, 2010


Going for great music is a bonding experience. That and good food/drink are really awesome. If cash is an issue, I prefer spending the money on the entertainment portion, really good live entertainment is transcendental. A magic moment in time.
posted by MiffyCLB at 12:48 PM on February 24, 2010 [1 favorite]


I've always wanted to take a dance class, so I'm going to throw that out there as something you could do with your wife.
posted by misha at 1:49 PM on February 24, 2010


My wife and I sneak into the swimming pools at local hotels.
posted by abirae at 1:53 PM on February 24, 2010


Ideas (some already suggested above):
* amusement park/carnival date night
* nighttime stargazing picnic (bring a constellation chart)
* dance classes or a big dance event like a contra/square dance
* keep an eye for an author she loves coming to talk in your area
* take her to some nice place to watch the sunset

As pointed out above, only you know what she's into. That's the difference between generic as-seen-on-tv romance, and really special you-know-me-better-than-anyone-else romance.
posted by nowmorethannever at 8:53 PM on February 24, 2010 [1 favorite]


Buy some of these two person games. If you are into the video games play those at home.

However, more fun is to get the board games and take them somewhere: the bar if you drink, a coffee shop or diner if you don't. (Be sure to buy something, of course.) This way you are doing something together, out of the house. It is also a nice way to chat with random people as they will come up to you and ask about/comment on what you are playing if you get some of the more obscure games.

I personally can vouch for Pandemic and Carcasonne: Hunters and Gatherers of the ones in the above link.
posted by ephemerista at 12:34 PM on February 25, 2010


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