Cutting contact with an Ex from the same friendship group.
January 31, 2010 11:54 AM Subscribe
Ex-Relationship Filter: What's the best way to cut contact with an Ex, when you have got friends in common.
posted by 92_elements to Human Relations (11 answers total) 5 users marked this as a favorite
Last year I dated a girl for a few months, both her and I were already firmly established within the same friendship group. This relationship did not work out for a number of reasons. These included her general behavior towards me (putting me down, lack of trust, respect and honesty).
Following our break-up her behavior towards me has made me feel bad. Trying to make me feel jealous, guilty, playing mind games, deliberately making booty calls in my presence etc.
These are not qualities I can tolerate in a friend. Therefore I decided to cut contact entirely.
She claims not understand what she has done that's so wrong, sees my decision as unfair and wants the mutual friends to 'stick up for her'. She has also tried to force the friends to choose between us. So far they have refused.
I have explain my position to the mutual friends, and categorically stated, I will
a) not pose them a me or her ultimatum,
b) not attend events if she is there,
c) still wish to see my mutual friends at other occasions,
d) leave them to make their own choice regarding the Ex.
So after all that, my question is:
Do you think I am justified to cut contact with my Ex? What further support can I offer my friends? What is the best way to ensure I keep contact with my friends (who are very important to me)?
Plus anything else that comes to the hive mind.
Thank you for reading this, much appreciated.