How do I keep everyone happy in a wierd relationship
January 23, 2010 8:06 AM Subscribe
I just entered a relationship with my (female) best friend of 3 years and roommate. We've previously never so much as cuddled and recently became very open about our feelings for each other and realized that we want to be together. We are extremely excited about where things are going. There's a problem though...
posted by anonymous to Human Relations (17 answers total) 1 user marked this as a favorite
I've previously been in a relationship with the 3rd (male) roommate. He and I have been very close for years, and it's occasionally gone into sexual territory (it's been close to a year now since the last time). Also, on many occasions he's told me I'm the girl he loves. I do love him, but I'm not interested in him as anything more than extremely close friends and it's been this way for a long while.
We all live together, because previously it hadn't even been close to an issue. We all have our own rooms and space, and none of us were seeking any sort of romance between each other.
I've casually brought up conversation with him asking what he would do if I was ever in a serious relationship where I had someone move in, and he has told me that he would move out. This is not a good solution for me, as I love spending time with him, and we moved in together expecting to stay for at least the entire term of the lease. I've also made my feelings for him very much known on many occasions, and that it probably isn't healthy to think this way (he also gets laid frequently, so it's not like he's waiting for me) Furthermore, we can't afford the place without all three of us pitching in.
I don't want to hurt feelings, but keeping things secret forever never works. I also hate having this big part of my life be so closed off- especially seeing as we all share a large majority of our friends (therefore, I've kept this all secret from them as well).
Hivemind- what is one to do? Throwaway email: firstname.lastname@example.org