Nice person, mean drunk.
January 14, 2010 8:46 AM Subscribe
On occasion I say mean, horrible things to my boyfriend, and only when I've been drinking. Why? Where is this coming from?
posted by anonymous to Human Relations (40 answers total) 8 users marked this as a favorite
Last weekend my boyfriend and I got dinner. It was great, we both had fun. I had about three glasses of wine. Then we went to another bar and had two more glasses of wine each. This was enough to make me very tired and sleepy, so then we went home and fell into bed. The next morning my boyfriend asked me why I'd mentioned details that seemed deliberately barbed to hurt him (like, egads, revealing what I was going to get him for his birthday. What? Who does that? And then when he said another girlfriend had already gotten him something quite similar before, I declared I would no longer get it for him. Classy.) I'd somehow forgotten most of the conversation until he reminded me and then it all came rushing back in this sickening wave. From the outside it looks as if I'd been harboring these mean thoughts and alcohol only brought them to the surface, except I don't think any of those things at all.
I've done this before. It happens every once in a while after I go just over my limit, from tipsy to drunk: my brain shuts down its "basic human empathy" section and I become a mean, petty person.
It feels like I have a split personality, and the brown-outs don't help. Obviously I'm quitting drinking until this gets resolved, but I'm wondering what in the world is going on with me. My relationship is amazing and I'm so happy with my boyfriend. It's by far the best relationship I've ever had and he's my favorite person in the world. So why is it that I become a horrible person every once in a while after drinking alcohol, but definitely not every time I get drunk? We're somewhat frequent wine-with-dinner people (maybe 3 nights a week), and occasional weekend warriors, and it definitely doesn't happen every time I drink. If anyone else did this, how did you stop? Is this a sign I'm an alcoholic or just a terrible drunk?
Details: 26/F. My work has been very stressful but things calmed down starting last weekend. We live together, and have been dating for a year. Other than this, we don't really fight. My mom was an alcoholic when I was little but has since made a halfhearted recovery.