help me dress cute
January 9, 2010 12:42 PM   Subscribe

Date outfits needed for incredibly picky girl! Dear Metafilter, I am determined to go on some dates in 2010. Only my wardrobe is holding me back. Please help me buy at least 2 outfits appropriate for dates. My parameters are thus:

1) no heels; 2) I really don't like skirts and dresses, but am willing to consider things below the knees - anything above is out of the question ; 3) I am smallish but pear-shaped; 4) I look terrible in the baggy shirts and dresses currently in style, as well as in the skinny pants currently in style; 5) NO ITCHY; and 6) tops need to be black, darkish patterned, or layered, otherwise I will show pit stains, not sexy!
posted by yarly to Clothing, Beauty, & Fashion (22 answers total) 5 users marked this as a favorite
 
I would go for:

- Dark Jeans, boot-cut or whatever.

- Cute, pointy-ish toed flats. (They don't need to be witch shoes, but not ballet flats either) Maybe embellished, probably a cool color since you're going black on top

- Black, cap-sleeve or short sleeve tunic-length (ie, mid-thighish) not-baggy-but-not-super-clingy top. Maybe a little low cut, if you are willing to swing that way, but nothing too slutty and it's not that important if you're not comfortable with it.

- Nice earring or a necklace that works with the shirt. Not both. Maybe add bangles or something if you like them.

- Wallet/clutch in a brightish color that doesn't match (or clash with) the shoes.

Demure, to your specs, and if you get the right stuff most people look good in an outfit like this. Of course, now comes the actual buying of it part... but that's what i would look for, at least for outfit #1 :)
posted by brainmouse at 12:48 PM on January 9, 2010


Some nice, dark jeans, ballet flats, and a colored shirt with a nice black or dark gray cardigan over it. I recently bought this cardigan, and it's nice because the tie makes sure it isn't shapeless and instead, accentuates my waist.

Make your shirt a pop of color like red, blue, purple, or patterned to draw the eye upward. Accentuate the waist with your sweater or a belt to flatter there. Dark bootcut jeans will balance out the lower half.
posted by cmgonzalez at 1:02 PM on January 9, 2010 [1 favorite]


I just did a quick search of the nordstrom site, and any of these tops are what I'm thinking of, depending on what you like/what works on your shape. Tunics are very in, so you should be able to find them anywhere and figure out what you like on you.

1 2 3 4 5

You'll note that some of those (like #3) are apparently sold as dresses, but jeez that's a short dress! And it was in the tops section. You can wear those over jeans as much as you want -- just make sure the jeans fit so there's weird jean lumpiness or gappiness going on under the top of the tunic.
posted by brainmouse at 1:04 PM on January 9, 2010


I know it's not what you're asking, but CertainDri and other nighttime antiperspirants will solve the sweat-stain problem for good, and then you can wear anything you like as a top!
posted by you're a kitty! at 1:06 PM on January 9, 2010


Response by poster: I've tried CertainDri - terrible rashes. I have found after some experimentation that scratching my underarms on dates doesn't makea a good impression. (See also parameter #5 - no itchy!)
posted by yarly at 1:10 PM on January 9, 2010


A cropped cardigan or shrug is what you want for the pit stain issue. Basically, you can wear whatever shirt you like with these.
posted by showbiz_liz at 1:25 PM on January 9, 2010


While I would agree with everything else brainmouse said, as a short pear-shaped girl myself those longer tunics=fugly. The tend to end at the widest part of me, make my legs look shorter, and just ugh.

So I would say you want something that ends more top of the hip area preferably one that also goes in just under the boobs for maximum waist enhancing action. So something shaped like this. And while it doesn't have to be from Anthro I find they are a very good source of this shape shirt.

I know you are largely against dresses but empire waist dresses are seriously great for the pear. Especially if the skirt is a bit a-line. Something like this, and while it may be above the model's knee it would probably be more like right on the knee (which I find more flattering than actually below knee). Add some opaque tights and flats and you are date ready!
posted by grapesaresour at 1:35 PM on January 9, 2010 [1 favorite]


Because you say you don't like skirts and look bad in skinny pants, I'm wondering whether this might be because your legs could be relatively short and you don't like heels. This could be worth checking because certain skirt and pants styles looked bad on me for years and I didn't realize this was because I have short legs.

For 1) and 2) it would help if you could measure the length from the top of your head to your chin, and divide your total height by the result. If you are less than 8 heads tall, you are relatively long-headed.

Next measure the length of your legs from crotch to floor. Then divide the result by your head length. If your legs are less than 4 head lengths long, you have comparatively short legs and will have to take this into account when picking skirts or dresses.

Basically when you divide space up horizontally it looks shorter. The thing about a skirt is that the hem draws a horizontal line across the length of your thigh or calf. So a good skirt length to wear with flats is a skirt that hits the knee (or, in some cases, just below the knee) so that the full length of your calf is on show and your leg length is not getting chopped off.

Another important point is that any garment that clings around the butt will make it clear that your butt is comparatively close to the ground, so you need skirts, dresses, and pants that bypass the waist and (if your pear shape comes from wide hips) your hips too.

This means skirts that widen out from the waistband rather than hanging straight or narrow. A knee-length circle or half-circle skirt is the best in my experience; a straight, flared, or pencil skirt is the worst. And bias-cut skirts probably won't be good.

By these same principles a high-waisted or empire-line dress will be good and you can have a longer length too. Drop-waisted dresses can sometimes be good too. An example of a bad dress would be one that's calf-length and bias-cut: chops your leg length off midcalf and clings to the hips. A fishtail dress would also be bad: clings until it reaches the knees and then flares out, again dividing your leg length horizontally and clinging to the hips and thighs.

For the same reasons skinny pants won't be good, and they are also likely to make your legs look short by chopping you off at the ankle and getting narrower from the waist. The opposite extreme would be palazzo pants which hang loosely and widen from the waist, as well as being hemmed near the floor rather than at the ankle.

You may also have read that high-waisted pants will make your legs look longer, but that might not be true: measure your rise area (natural waist to crotch) and if it's longer than 1 head length, that means your rise area is taking length away from your leg area, so a high waist will only give you a longer rise. Instead, you can divide your rise area horizontally by layering a shorter top over a longer one, giving you two horizontal lines.

For 3), sleeveless or strappy tops will narrow your shoulders whereas wider necklines and sleeves or off-the-shoulder styles will balance you out. It's nice to have a definite waist too, especially because of 4).

For 1), Take a look at your wrists to see if you are smaller-boned or larger-boned. If you are smaller-boned you will look better in delicate, pointy flats like khussa slippers, but mustn't have an open back like Chinese slippers; and if you are larger-boned you will look better in sturdier/chunkier flats with a round toe, and an open-backed shoe will probably be good too. If your legs are short the shoe should have a low front and, preferably, no straps.

For 5), be careful with wool and mohair.

As for 6), that's a bit of a shame because lighter colours make an area look bigger and darker colours make an area look smaller. So to balance a pear-shape the first thing I would think of would be a light top with a dark skirt or pants. If you really need to be dark all over maybe a dress is the way to go. Otherwise, you could try dress shields to protect against pit stains.
posted by tel3path at 1:54 PM on January 9, 2010 [3 favorites]


Trouser jeans

Top that's loose but cinches at the waist

Cute textured blazer, also cinching in waist

Ballet flats

And accessorize!

...yes all links are to J. Crew, but they have some really cute stuff.
posted by melissasaurus at 1:56 PM on January 9, 2010 [1 favorite]


I'm not sure where you live, but I know, even with stockings, flats don't keep my feet warm in 20-30 degree F weather. For winter dates, definitely a dark denim boot cut with, well, boots. I know you said no heels, but if you're willing to do a heel like this or a little shorter, they would look quite good with jeans.
posted by inmediasres at 1:59 PM on January 9, 2010


Response by poster: Thanks for all the suggestions so far! I am a little confused by the empire-waist suggestions - since I have a narrow waist, flat stomach, and a bigger hips/butt, it's always seemed to me that the flowy styles that don't define the waist and put extra material at the hips look bad on me.

By way of illustration, the two dresses I own that I think I look good in are this black one from Ann Taylor (size 6p) and a wrap dress.
posted by yarly at 2:02 PM on January 9, 2010


a nice dark coloured fitted jacket is a really versatile item. I have one that is out of a lightweight stretchy material, and it makes any outfit look that much more together. They are also flattering and slimming.
posted by 5_13_23_42_69_666 at 2:20 PM on January 9, 2010 [1 favorite]


The black dress you pictured does have a high waist - it defines a waist with horizontal lines right below the bust.

Then it lengthens the area below the waist with vertical lines.

It also has cap sleeves, so your shoulders aren't narrowed.
posted by tel3path at 3:10 PM on January 9, 2010


An empire-waist top doesn't necessarily have to be super-flowy--there are a lot of tops out there with straighter, tailored lines falling from an empire waist. The thing is to make sure there aren't any gathers below the underbust seam.

I'm with you on the NO ITCHY thing and I love wearing smooth rayon and silk jersey tops.
posted by Sidhedevil at 4:19 PM on January 9, 2010


tops need to be black, darkish patterned, or layered, otherwise I will show pit stains, not sexy!

Have you tried dress shields? (there are lots of brands, this is just the first one that came up for me)
posted by shiny blue object at 4:31 PM on January 9, 2010


as a fellow pear shaped girl, let me tell you that a good pencil skirt would look fantastic on you! On any girl, really. Then you can wear flats or boots and any top you want.
posted by Unred at 6:50 PM on January 9, 2010


As a guy who has gone out on a lot of first dates, I just want to vote against the jeans. I think wearing jeans on a first date is lame.
posted by bingo at 7:52 PM on January 9, 2010


A-line skirts and dresses would work well for you, as long as you get the length right. You don't want any lines cutting across you at the widest parts of your legs. On-the-knee is usually the safest and most flattering length for the majority of women - longer can drag you down in appearance. Empire lines don't have to be all puffed out for that 4-mths pregnant look, they can be fitted around the bust, with a distinct line under it, then skim over your waist and flow over your hips.

Wide-legged or bootcut pants would be your best bet for trousers. If budget is an issue, one pair of trousers in a neutral tone can be paired with several different tops so you get more than one outfit for less shopping hassle.

Flat or low-heeled boots would look great with either the pants or a dress. Slightly pointy flats would be nice too, but make sure you get them in a nice material so they don't look too casual.

V-necks usually work well for pear-shaped women for tops, they don't need to be low-cut if you don't want to be too va-va-voom. Agree that a little cardigan or shrug is the best way to get around possible pit stains if you can't find a dark-coloured top that you like. Add a little clutch purse and some nice earrings or a necklace and you'll be super-cute!
posted by harriet vane at 6:35 AM on January 10, 2010 [1 favorite]


since I have a narrow waist, flat stomach, and a bigger hips/butt,

This is the holy trifecta! I say look to Mad Men, at least for tops and shapes. The character Joan Holloway has single-handedly made people remember that hips are amazing.
posted by nosila at 9:50 AM on January 10, 2010


Response by poster: thank you for all the advice! Anyone want to come shopping with me now?

As a guy who has gone out on a lot of first dates, I just want to vote against the jeans. I think wearing jeans on a first date is lame.


I would love to just respond by saying that Bingo and I simply won't be going on any first dates, but I guess I should keep this under consideration... so, are there any non-jeans pants out there that would work? I have nice work pants, but they look like work, not play, to me.
posted by yarly at 11:09 AM on January 10, 2010


Depends on where you go for your date - but you can undoubtedly dress down your work pants and transition to after work fun activities by changing your top, accessories etc...
posted by koahiatamadl at 2:52 PM on January 10, 2010


Full disclosure: I'm a guy :)

"I look terrible in the baggy shirts and dresses currently in style"

So do most of the women who wear them! If it has an Empire Waist, don't do it. My theory is that this awful trend started when a bunch of celebrities were pregnant at the same time and somehow the pregnant look became a fashion trend. Google around and you'll be amazed by how many women complain about being asked if they're pregnant just because they wore that style of shirts. I can't believe how people will wear things they know look bad on them because it's considered in fashion.


Jeans on a first date:

That's absolutely acceptable! ...assuming they're nice jeans, of course. They don't have to be skinny jeans or even expensive jeans. Just something that flatters your curves. If I were on a date with you, I'm going to check out your butt. I'm a gentleman, so I'll try to do it when you're not looking, but of course I'm going to check out your figure. Butt included :)
posted by 2oh1 at 8:16 PM on January 10, 2010


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