Let's be non sexual the first time we meet!
January 6, 2010 11:45 AM Subscribe
What are some sweet things to do on a first date that will be non sexual, yet limited to a hotel room?
Girl meets boy via internet. Boy and girl fall in love. Boy will be traveling 2,000 miles to meet girl in her city. While much has been said and promised and fantasies imagined and mentioned and anticipated, both parties agree that the first meeting should be non sexual, i.e. no sex, just some kissing, maybe fooling around.
However, for various health reasons/scheduling conflicts, that first date will be taking place in his hotel room, where they'll both be for a few hours before she returns the next day for actual going out and sex (if both still want to).
So what are some things a couple could do in a hotel room to pass the time that are non sexual and but of a getting to know you variety, i.e. first date?
Girl meets boy via internet. Boy and girl fall in love. Boy will be traveling 2,000 miles to meet girl in her city. While much has been said and promised and fantasies imagined and mentioned and anticipated, both parties agree that the first meeting should be non sexual, i.e. no sex, just some kissing, maybe fooling around.
However, for various health reasons/scheduling conflicts, that first date will be taking place in his hotel room, where they'll both be for a few hours before she returns the next day for actual going out and sex (if both still want to).
So what are some things a couple could do in a hotel room to pass the time that are non sexual and but of a getting to know you variety, i.e. first date?
Can you go outside this hotel room? Can you go to the hotel pool or lounge or something?
posted by unixrat at 11:51 AM on January 6, 2010 [2 favorites]
posted by unixrat at 11:51 AM on January 6, 2010 [2 favorites]
Take a Wii?
That doesn't sound quite right.
posted by jquinby at 11:54 AM on January 6, 2010 [10 favorites]
That doesn't sound quite right.
posted by jquinby at 11:54 AM on January 6, 2010 [10 favorites]
Truth or dare! I Have Never (with non-alcoholic drinks, if that's your thing.) Scrabble. Monopoly. Cuddling. Spooning. Hugging. Lying next to each other on the floor. Playing hide or seek in the hotel. Mocking porn on the pay-per-view TV. Taking photographs of each other. Taking a non-sexual shower together. Backrubs. Drinking booze. Poetry recital. Smoking. Reading out loud through the sexy/angry bits in Shakespeare particularly if one of you is Richard III and the other one is Anne. Watching films. You could each bring your favourite film (and a laptop) and make the other watch it. I once read a blogger that said if you perform this test on a first date and you both turn up with Magnolia then you should get married instantly, I totally agree. Star-gazing. Could you get onto the roof of the hotel to look at the night sky, or onto a balcony?
posted by somergames at 11:55 AM on January 6, 2010 [7 favorites]
posted by somergames at 11:55 AM on January 6, 2010 [7 favorites]
great ideas, somergames, but
Lying next to each other on the floor
just not that because it's a hotel room floor and ew
posted by changeling at 11:58 AM on January 6, 2010
Lying next to each other on the floor
just not that because it's a hotel room floor and ew
posted by changeling at 11:58 AM on January 6, 2010
Take a blanket?
posted by somergames at 11:59 AM on January 6, 2010
posted by somergames at 11:59 AM on January 6, 2010
Watching really stupid entertaining tv and making silly comments.
But +1 for board games, especially those that aren't particularly vicious. Less of the Monopoly, more of the CandyLand.
unless you're like me, and will totally cheat her way through CandyLand. Stacking the deck against a five-year-old is totally okay, right?
posted by Katemonkey at 11:59 AM on January 6, 2010 [1 favorite]
But +1 for board games, especially those that aren't particularly vicious. Less of the Monopoly, more of the CandyLand.
unless you're like me, and will totally cheat her way through CandyLand. Stacking the deck against a five-year-old is totally okay, right?
posted by Katemonkey at 11:59 AM on January 6, 2010 [1 favorite]
Card games.
Jigsaw puzzle.
Bring a list of fun questions that’ll spark discussion.
posted by yawper at 12:00 PM on January 6, 2010
Jigsaw puzzle.
Bring a list of fun questions that’ll spark discussion.
posted by yawper at 12:00 PM on January 6, 2010
How about a dinner date? Do you cook? Or can you learn really fast? What about making a meal and then bringing it to the hotel room, along with a bottle of wine? If there's no microwave in the room to reheat the food, you could use a slow cooker. Or just go with a picnic type meal that doesn't require heating, such as camembert and French bread, prosciutto & melon, salad, etc. Bring some nice dishes and wine glasses to set the mood.
You could also do this on a smaller scale if you're not much of a cook, e.g., making just a dessert and bringing some decent ground coffee (a lot of hotel rooms have coffee makers). So you could kinda sorta Starbucks it up for a while in there.
And sorry to be the Voice of Doom here, but please be safe. I know it feels like you know this person, but ultimately you don't know him and you're going to be in a hotel room with him for a few hours. Maybe let some friends know where you are and have them check in on you at some point via cell? OK, I'll stop now. Have a good time.
posted by December at 12:03 PM on January 6, 2010 [4 favorites]
You could also do this on a smaller scale if you're not much of a cook, e.g., making just a dessert and bringing some decent ground coffee (a lot of hotel rooms have coffee makers). So you could kinda sorta Starbucks it up for a while in there.
And sorry to be the Voice of Doom here, but please be safe. I know it feels like you know this person, but ultimately you don't know him and you're going to be in a hotel room with him for a few hours. Maybe let some friends know where you are and have them check in on you at some point via cell? OK, I'll stop now. Have a good time.
posted by December at 12:03 PM on January 6, 2010 [4 favorites]
I highly suggest card games - they're fun and usually easy to find some colloquial card games (i.e. Euchre for the Midwest) that you can share with one another - teaching someone can be a very intimate experience!
Also, be prepared for some awkward silences. Or high-pitched over-talking. Do not judge your relationship with internet person on the first 15 minutes of meeting.
posted by banannafish at 12:04 PM on January 6, 2010 [2 favorites]
Also, be prepared for some awkward silences. Or high-pitched over-talking. Do not judge your relationship with internet person on the first 15 minutes of meeting.
posted by banannafish at 12:04 PM on January 6, 2010 [2 favorites]
Bring your own comfy, clean, natural-fiber bed covering if you want to lounge around on it. Maybe a couple of your own pillows. How about binoculars or a telescope? The abundance of ice will be even better if you have a nice ice bucket. Perhaps a little cooler for gourmet snacks? Pepper water crackers, with black pepper Boursin cheese, some black American caviar, and a few drops of fresh lemon juice is simple and tasty. Maybe some melon wrapped in prosciutto along with that.
Nice going, BTW!
posted by StickyCarpet at 12:09 PM on January 6, 2010
Nice going, BTW!
posted by StickyCarpet at 12:09 PM on January 6, 2010
Do not judge your relationship with internet person on the first 15 minutes
There was a study I found on ScienceDaily.com that showed it takes a surprisingly consistent six meetings with someone to form a stable and accurate assessment of that person.
posted by StickyCarpet at 12:12 PM on January 6, 2010 [10 favorites]
There was a study I found on ScienceDaily.com that showed it takes a surprisingly consistent six meetings with someone to form a stable and accurate assessment of that person.
posted by StickyCarpet at 12:12 PM on January 6, 2010 [10 favorites]
What's wrong with ordering room service and a movie? I love those dates!
posted by eatdonuts at 12:19 PM on January 6, 2010
posted by eatdonuts at 12:19 PM on January 6, 2010
Bring a bunch of those Book of questions and get to know eachother a bit better.
Find a mutal book together and take turns reading it together.
Play Hot Lava.
Do some art together.
Write a story together.
Draw a picture together.
Pillow Fight.
posted by bleucube at 12:20 PM on January 6, 2010 [1 favorite]
Find a mutal book together and take turns reading it together.
Play Hot Lava.
Do some art together.
Write a story together.
Draw a picture together.
Pillow Fight.
posted by bleucube at 12:20 PM on January 6, 2010 [1 favorite]
Bring protection, making out can lead to more. Be prepared just in case. This is the mature thing to do.
posted by TooFewShoes at 12:23 PM on January 6, 2010 [5 favorites]
posted by TooFewShoes at 12:23 PM on January 6, 2010 [5 favorites]
Get the game "Pandemic" -- it's a collaborative game where both (or several) players work together (to save the world from various virulent diseases). This is much better than a traditional competitive game where one person wins and one loses, especially for building a new relationship, I think.
We received this game as a gift for Christmas and we like it a lot!
Monopoly was kind of hard on our relationship...
posted by amtho at 12:41 PM on January 6, 2010 [1 favorite]
We received this game as a gift for Christmas and we like it a lot!
Monopoly was kind of hard on our relationship...
posted by amtho at 12:41 PM on January 6, 2010 [1 favorite]
I second the dinner date and possible movie.
However, I advise that birth control be available both nights.
posted by Ironmouth at 12:44 PM on January 6, 2010
However, I advise that birth control be available both nights.
posted by Ironmouth at 12:44 PM on January 6, 2010
Lots of places have suite hotels or short-term apartment hotels, or even just a regular hotel with rooms that have a little sitting room attached (for "business meetings").
You will feel a lot less strange if you get one like this. You'll be able to talk like normal people instead of being crammed into 285 square feet with a monomaniacal third wheel that keeps shouting HI, PEOPLE HAVE SEX ON ME AND YOU KNOW I AM MORE COMFORTABLE THAN THOSE CHAIRS. HEY BY THE WAY THOSE CHAIRS ARE TO THROW YOUR CLOTHES ON RIGHT YEAH HI I AM A BED.
Meeting your invisible boyfriend/girlfriend will be stressful enough without having to do it perched on the end of a rented bed trying not to spill the Boggle tray.
posted by Sallyfur at 12:47 PM on January 6, 2010 [36 favorites]
You will feel a lot less strange if you get one like this. You'll be able to talk like normal people instead of being crammed into 285 square feet with a monomaniacal third wheel that keeps shouting HI, PEOPLE HAVE SEX ON ME AND YOU KNOW I AM MORE COMFORTABLE THAN THOSE CHAIRS. HEY BY THE WAY THOSE CHAIRS ARE TO THROW YOUR CLOTHES ON RIGHT YEAH HI I AM A BED.
Meeting your invisible boyfriend/girlfriend will be stressful enough without having to do it perched on the end of a rented bed trying not to spill the Boggle tray.
posted by Sallyfur at 12:47 PM on January 6, 2010 [36 favorites]
Some of the best parties I've attended have been focused on (or included) what we call 'read around.' and I'd love to do that as a date.
Basically, each person brings a few things they'd like to share out loud with the group. Poems, non-fiction, selections from scholarly journals.
Often a reader will get to the end of his or her selection and the group will say, 'more,' either timidly like Oliver, or raucously like asking for an encore.
posted by bilabial at 12:55 PM on January 6, 2010 [1 favorite]
Basically, each person brings a few things they'd like to share out loud with the group. Poems, non-fiction, selections from scholarly journals.
Often a reader will get to the end of his or her selection and the group will say, 'more,' either timidly like Oliver, or raucously like asking for an encore.
posted by bilabial at 12:55 PM on January 6, 2010 [1 favorite]
I love the idea of staging a dinner. Skip room service - spend some time in whatever city it is, in the afternoon, gathering stuff. Bring in your own linens, silver, flowers, candles (be sure not to set off the fire alarm - pop a shower cap over if it if you're in a non-smoking room). Go shopping for a nice array of specialty foods - some fine olives, cheeses, fruit, salami and proscuitto, etc, and start with that. Then maybe call for a pickup order of Indian, Chinese, or some other wonderful thing.
I totally agree about getting the Travel-suite, residence-style hotel.
posted by Miko at 1:20 PM on January 6, 2010
I totally agree about getting the Travel-suite, residence-style hotel.
posted by Miko at 1:20 PM on January 6, 2010
Read Richard Wiseman's dating tips?
First two are Scary movies and the Sharing Game
posted by so_ at 1:35 PM on January 6, 2010
First two are Scary movies and the Sharing Game
posted by so_ at 1:35 PM on January 6, 2010
Jump on the beds.
posted by sciencegeek at 1:38 PM on January 6, 2010
posted by sciencegeek at 1:38 PM on January 6, 2010
suite hotels
In addition to all of the other benefits of a suite rather than a room, the suites in the all-suite hotels (e.g., doubletree) often have kitchens (with ovens and some plates and utensils) attached to the livingroom area. You guys could cook dinner or a snack together, or make cookies or brownies or some other dessert.
You could evaluate the contents of the kitchen, then figure out what you can make. It could be a fun problem solving adventure. You guys could walk to a store to get ingredients.
posted by sentient at 1:45 PM on January 6, 2010 [1 favorite]
In addition to all of the other benefits of a suite rather than a room, the suites in the all-suite hotels (e.g., doubletree) often have kitchens (with ovens and some plates and utensils) attached to the livingroom area. You guys could cook dinner or a snack together, or make cookies or brownies or some other dessert.
You could evaluate the contents of the kitchen, then figure out what you can make. It could be a fun problem solving adventure. You guys could walk to a store to get ingredients.
posted by sentient at 1:45 PM on January 6, 2010 [1 favorite]
Taking a non-sexual shower together.
Call me old-fashioned, but
what
posted by threeants at 1:53 PM on January 6, 2010 [29 favorites]
Call me old-fashioned, but
what
posted by threeants at 1:53 PM on January 6, 2010 [29 favorites]
Why can't you just walk around the neighborhood? I can't imagine anything more awkward than trying to be "non sexual" in a hotel room.
Does the hotel have a bar / restaurant / arcade / spa / pool / weight room / sitting room -- ANYTHING but the room with the bed?
Incidentally, I think there's nothing better for a first date than going to the zoo. It gives you something to talk about OTHER THAN EACH OTHER. You don't want the date to be "here's the upload on me; what's the upload on you?"
posted by musofire at 1:59 PM on January 6, 2010 [1 favorite]
Does the hotel have a bar / restaurant / arcade / spa / pool / weight room / sitting room -- ANYTHING but the room with the bed?
Incidentally, I think there's nothing better for a first date than going to the zoo. It gives you something to talk about OTHER THAN EACH OTHER. You don't want the date to be "here's the upload on me; what's the upload on you?"
posted by musofire at 1:59 PM on January 6, 2010 [1 favorite]
Don't do anything elaborate - while cobbling together a MacGyver-esque dinner sounds neat on paper, it puts an awful amount of pressure on both parties to pull it off successfully. Imagine spending months and months talking to someone you really like, travelling 2,000 miles to go see them, cooking together, and having the dinner turn out to be a disaster. Disappointment much?
Simple board games (or better yet, card games that don't require huge playing fields) are fantastic for dates.
All those times you've chatted and were all "Hey, I have to show you XYZ"? Now's a great time to show them XYZ - a movie that's too big to send over email or IM, a bunch of macros or photos or whatever that you've collected on your computer that you think they would enjoy.
Listen to music together and comment on the lyrics. (I'm sorry, is that too twee?)
Or, just talk. You've presumably been talking for months. Talking offline can be different from talking online in that you take much more visual cues from your environment for starting conversations, but at the end of the day, you're still just chatting with someone whose company you enjoy.
You're probably overthinking this. Remember that this is different from just a typical first date; you already know and like this person, and they know and like you. You already know what the other person is interested in, whether that's video games, books, music, or whatever. Plan from there.
I did this recently. We had some movies and board games prepared, but for the first half a day we just talked, and enjoyed each other's company, and it was AWESOME. While I did take all the safety precautions I could think of to make sure I had ways out if things turned out badly, I felt confident going in (as I'm sure you do, too) that things would be okay. Have a blast!
posted by Phire at 2:34 PM on January 6, 2010 [2 favorites]
Simple board games (or better yet, card games that don't require huge playing fields) are fantastic for dates.
All those times you've chatted and were all "Hey, I have to show you XYZ"? Now's a great time to show them XYZ - a movie that's too big to send over email or IM, a bunch of macros or photos or whatever that you've collected on your computer that you think they would enjoy.
Listen to music together and comment on the lyrics. (I'm sorry, is that too twee?)
Or, just talk. You've presumably been talking for months. Talking offline can be different from talking online in that you take much more visual cues from your environment for starting conversations, but at the end of the day, you're still just chatting with someone whose company you enjoy.
You're probably overthinking this. Remember that this is different from just a typical first date; you already know and like this person, and they know and like you. You already know what the other person is interested in, whether that's video games, books, music, or whatever. Plan from there.
I did this recently. We had some movies and board games prepared, but for the first half a day we just talked, and enjoyed each other's company, and it was AWESOME. While I did take all the safety precautions I could think of to make sure I had ways out if things turned out badly, I felt confident going in (as I'm sure you do, too) that things would be okay. Have a blast!
posted by Phire at 2:34 PM on January 6, 2010 [2 favorites]
There was a study I found on ScienceDaily.com that showed it takes a surprisingly consistent six meetings with someone to form a stable and accurate assessment of that person.
I think that's old-school. If you chat with someone, send tons of deep and revealing emails, read each others blogs back to front and talk on the phone for hours before meeting in person a year or whatever later, are you really "meeting" for the first time?
In my experience, no. This applies to girlfriends I've been chatting and emailing with for years, the guy where we detoured from the airport parking lot directly to the nearest hotel and didn't leave for two days, and the lovely man I took home and married after finally seeing each other at a New Year's Eve party six years ago. There was never any sensation of new or of meeting - it's always felt exactly like picking up where we just left off, except in 3D!
The one thing I would say is that what you can't plan for is sexual attraction. You can have all of the good will and strong intent in the world, think the other person is The Hotness, fall into each other's arms, and.... nothing. The switch just doesn't trip for whatever reason - pheromones or what have you - and the whole thing falls apart right there. I had that happen once and I felt terrible but there was nothing I could do to make myself be attracted to someone it just wasn't happening with.
So umm yeah - have a plan for that.
posted by DarlingBri at 3:12 PM on January 6, 2010 [1 favorite]
I think that's old-school. If you chat with someone, send tons of deep and revealing emails, read each others blogs back to front and talk on the phone for hours before meeting in person a year or whatever later, are you really "meeting" for the first time?
In my experience, no. This applies to girlfriends I've been chatting and emailing with for years, the guy where we detoured from the airport parking lot directly to the nearest hotel and didn't leave for two days, and the lovely man I took home and married after finally seeing each other at a New Year's Eve party six years ago. There was never any sensation of new or of meeting - it's always felt exactly like picking up where we just left off, except in 3D!
The one thing I would say is that what you can't plan for is sexual attraction. You can have all of the good will and strong intent in the world, think the other person is The Hotness, fall into each other's arms, and.... nothing. The switch just doesn't trip for whatever reason - pheromones or what have you - and the whole thing falls apart right there. I had that happen once and I felt terrible but there was nothing I could do to make myself be attracted to someone it just wasn't happening with.
So umm yeah - have a plan for that.
posted by DarlingBri at 3:12 PM on January 6, 2010 [1 favorite]
However, for various health reasons/scheduling conflicts, that first date will be taking place in his hotel room, where they'll both be for a few hours before she returns the next day for actual going out and sex (if both still want to).
What I'm getting from your question is that you don't have time or resources to travel much on the first visit. So hang around the hotel, but I'd advise not meeting right in the room itself.
Hotels have lobbies, bars, even restaurants sometimes and coffee shops--could you meet downstairs from boy's room? Sometimes hotels are in idyllic park-like settings, where you can ramble around, just talking, too.
I understand your eagerness *completely*, but you are putting a lot of pressure on both of you by limiting yourselves to the hotel room. You might want to fall all over each other with wild abandon, and you might want to run away fast. Believe me, either reaction is completely understandable for a first meeting.
posted by misha at 4:13 PM on January 6, 2010
What I'm getting from your question is that you don't have time or resources to travel much on the first visit. So hang around the hotel, but I'd advise not meeting right in the room itself.
Hotels have lobbies, bars, even restaurants sometimes and coffee shops--could you meet downstairs from boy's room? Sometimes hotels are in idyllic park-like settings, where you can ramble around, just talking, too.
I understand your eagerness *completely*, but you are putting a lot of pressure on both of you by limiting yourselves to the hotel room. You might want to fall all over each other with wild abandon, and you might want to run away fast. Believe me, either reaction is completely understandable for a first meeting.
posted by misha at 4:13 PM on January 6, 2010
Am I the only one who thinks bringing condoms the first night is a bad idea? (Note: ONLY if you know you can control yourself and won't end up having unprotected sex because of this. If you know yourself and won't be able to control yourself or stop the other person then scratch that idea).
I just think it's better when you're not "expected" to have sex the first time, especially if you both agreed on it for that night - in a way it builds trust, knowing that the other person can say "nope, we agreed on this so lets wait till tomorrow" and didn't think "well, we said no sex but I bet I can get some anyway." Sure, it sucks to have to go out and get condoms in the middle of the night after a ton of making out, or to have to wait until the next night, but the chemistry of "OMG FINALLY" is so much better after that. Also, if you're both horny as hell and can't have sex that leads to awesome massages and intense cuddling that might bring you guys closer, since this is your first time meeting. And I just like knowing that the guy doesn't expect it even though he wants it. Maybe it's because I'm a girl and maybe I'm just weird, but holding off till the second night seems like a good idea to me.
posted by KateHasQuestions at 5:17 PM on January 6, 2010
I just think it's better when you're not "expected" to have sex the first time, especially if you both agreed on it for that night - in a way it builds trust, knowing that the other person can say "nope, we agreed on this so lets wait till tomorrow" and didn't think "well, we said no sex but I bet I can get some anyway." Sure, it sucks to have to go out and get condoms in the middle of the night after a ton of making out, or to have to wait until the next night, but the chemistry of "OMG FINALLY" is so much better after that. Also, if you're both horny as hell and can't have sex that leads to awesome massages and intense cuddling that might bring you guys closer, since this is your first time meeting. And I just like knowing that the guy doesn't expect it even though he wants it. Maybe it's because I'm a girl and maybe I'm just weird, but holding off till the second night seems like a good idea to me.
posted by KateHasQuestions at 5:17 PM on January 6, 2010
Make something. Bring popsticks and milk cartons and toilet paper rolls and newspapers and matchsticks and broom handles and tissue paper and straws and PVC tubing and whatever cheap and easy you can get your hands on, then give yourself half the night to construct an elaborate haunted house/fairy land/castle/alien landscape, and the other half of the night to play (boardgames, cards, with each other) in it.
It depends on the kind of people you are, but that'd be quite a treat for me. But hey, I once spent all night playing with a seven-year-old's wooden train set.
posted by twirlypen at 5:18 PM on January 6, 2010
It depends on the kind of people you are, but that'd be quite a treat for me. But hey, I once spent all night playing with a seven-year-old's wooden train set.
posted by twirlypen at 5:18 PM on January 6, 2010
Well, I did this once, and the "no sexytimes" thing lasted approximately 15 minutes. Just saying.
Take a couple of board games, a deck of cards, pens and paper (there are many pen-and-paper games, but you might have more fun making some up yourself). A couple of movies.
You might find it easier to stick to the no-sex plan if you find somewhere outside the hotel (a restaurant, cinema, whatever) to visit.
posted by lwb at 9:10 PM on January 6, 2010
Take a couple of board games, a deck of cards, pens and paper (there are many pen-and-paper games, but you might have more fun making some up yourself). A couple of movies.
You might find it easier to stick to the no-sex plan if you find somewhere outside the hotel (a restaurant, cinema, whatever) to visit.
posted by lwb at 9:10 PM on January 6, 2010
Playing games (i.e. card or board games) or watching movies seems a little weird to me since you are meeting in person for the first time. It is your first opportunity to get to know each other in person and diverting your attention from each other to external distractions seems like a waste of the precious time you have together.
posted by murrey at 8:03 AM on January 7, 2010 [1 favorite]
posted by murrey at 8:03 AM on January 7, 2010 [1 favorite]
"Bring protection, making out can lead to more. Be prepared just in case. This is the mature thing to do."
As someone who has been in exactly this situation, I agree on this point. It feels horribly presumptious, but it doesn't have to mean anythign other than making sure you're prepared if needs be.
I'd recommend wine, snacks, and a lot of talking in person. Things always feel odd when you meet someone you know for the first time, and it takes a little time.
posted by mippy at 8:41 AM on January 7, 2010 [1 favorite]
As someone who has been in exactly this situation, I agree on this point. It feels horribly presumptious, but it doesn't have to mean anythign other than making sure you're prepared if needs be.
I'd recommend wine, snacks, and a lot of talking in person. Things always feel odd when you meet someone you know for the first time, and it takes a little time.
posted by mippy at 8:41 AM on January 7, 2010 [1 favorite]
Am I the only one who thinks bringing condoms the first night is a bad idea?
No, definitely bring them. The idea that having protection with you will make you more likely to have sex isn't accurate. in fact, it's one of the old-school things that used to be told to "good girls" - it would make you look like a slut to carry condoms, so don't do it, it's a turnoff.
Not having protection isn't going to make someone who really wants to have sex stop wanting to have sex. What happens in that situation is that people try to get as close to having sex as they can, and might wind up pushing the envelope, or making rash decisions (or non-decisions) and regretting them later. If you have enough self-control to resist sex, you'll have it whether there's a condom in your purse or not. If you don't have enough self-control...well, you don't want to discover that about yourself when it's too late.
posted by Miko at 10:08 AM on January 7, 2010 [2 favorites]
No, definitely bring them. The idea that having protection with you will make you more likely to have sex isn't accurate. in fact, it's one of the old-school things that used to be told to "good girls" - it would make you look like a slut to carry condoms, so don't do it, it's a turnoff.
Not having protection isn't going to make someone who really wants to have sex stop wanting to have sex. What happens in that situation is that people try to get as close to having sex as they can, and might wind up pushing the envelope, or making rash decisions (or non-decisions) and regretting them later. If you have enough self-control to resist sex, you'll have it whether there's a condom in your purse or not. If you don't have enough self-control...well, you don't want to discover that about yourself when it's too late.
posted by Miko at 10:08 AM on January 7, 2010 [2 favorites]
There was a study I found on ScienceDaily.com...
I think that's old-school.
Dude, that is SCIENCE!!! And I don't think phone calls or emails say anywhere near what actual encounters do. No one is rude to waiters in phone calls or emails.
posted by StickyCarpet at 12:57 PM on January 7, 2010
I think that's old-school.
Dude, that is SCIENCE!!! And I don't think phone calls or emails say anywhere near what actual encounters do. No one is rude to waiters in phone calls or emails.
posted by StickyCarpet at 12:57 PM on January 7, 2010
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posted by jeffamaphone at 11:51 AM on January 6, 2010