Is this friendship worth saving?
January 5, 2010 11:01 AM Subscribe
Should I give up on this friendship? I am female and I've been good friends with my next-door neighbor from my first year of college since then. We haven't lived in the same place since college, but we've been quite close since then. However, we've been having trouble connecting.
posted by mrstrotsky to human relations (9 answers total)
The last time we saw each other was when we visited her for her son's baptism. The last time before that was visiting them right after they found out they were expecting. We've tried to meet up quite a few times since then- they've canceled two visits to see us, and we've tried to meet up in the city where her husband's parents and my mother-in-law live, to no avail. The most recent situation involved her saying we'd meet up on the 23rd of December, then canceling and saying we'd meet on January 2. Her phone went dead, I emailed and Facebooked her with no response. I even called her husband, who said she wanted to see me.
Background: We were in each other's weddings, and I am the godmother for her 2.5 year old son. I have an almost two-year old daughter (whom she's never met). But- she's always been a competitive friend. You name it: marriage, appearance, now child-rearing. She had a difficult childhood with an abusive father and refuses to deal with some of the issues surrounding that. She also works full time and I'm a stay-at-home mom, and she's made comments about not being able to do what I do because she would be bored. We still share a lot, though- political beliefs, reading, lots of shared experiences from college and as parents.
I don't whether she's avoiding me or if she's just overwhelmed. My husband thinks that she has something to hide or she's ashamed of something. I don't know- hive mind, help me out!