Offer my two cents or keep silent?
December 30, 2009 1:40 AM Subscribe
Raining on my friend's parade - should I give unasked for advice to my friend?
One of my closest friends is about to buy a new, expensive car and is totally excited about it. This is the first time that she's felt financially comfortable about it; she's never bought herself anything expensive and I think this would be a huge treat for her and the first time that she's rewarded herself.
The thing is - she doesn't own a house or any property yet and I want to point out to her a new car always depreciates in value while in the long run (five or ten years or more), I think property appreciates. The rub here is, my parents are ALWAYS giving me unwanted, unasked for advice, and I've always resented them for it. It usually makes me want to immediately do the opposite thing (because I'm childish like that ...) But I've always really disliked them because even though they love me and I love them, they are always such a huge downer with the practical, unwanted advice all the time.
My friend is bright, intelligent, articulate, sensible and has always and consistently made better decisions about everything in her life than I have ever made (and I'm not great with money either).
So this isn't a question about car or house (please don't turn this into a thread about buy the car, buy the house, don't buy, don't ruin the environment, better investment, etc. ). The question is should I offer my unasked for and probably unwanted opinion? I feel like I would be raining on her parade. I think she's very close to buying a car and she's excited and happy. If you were a person who had always been sensible and cautious all your life, would you want your friend to open her mouth with some downer opinion when you are finally about to splash out and enjoy something?
One of my closest friends is about to buy a new, expensive car and is totally excited about it. This is the first time that she's felt financially comfortable about it; she's never bought herself anything expensive and I think this would be a huge treat for her and the first time that she's rewarded herself.
The thing is - she doesn't own a house or any property yet and I want to point out to her a new car always depreciates in value while in the long run (five or ten years or more), I think property appreciates. The rub here is, my parents are ALWAYS giving me unwanted, unasked for advice, and I've always resented them for it. It usually makes me want to immediately do the opposite thing (because I'm childish like that ...) But I've always really disliked them because even though they love me and I love them, they are always such a huge downer with the practical, unwanted advice all the time.
My friend is bright, intelligent, articulate, sensible and has always and consistently made better decisions about everything in her life than I have ever made (and I'm not great with money either).
So this isn't a question about car or house (please don't turn this into a thread about buy the car, buy the house, don't buy, don't ruin the environment, better investment, etc. ). The question is should I offer my unasked for and probably unwanted opinion? I feel like I would be raining on her parade. I think she's very close to buying a car and she's excited and happy. If you were a person who had always been sensible and cautious all your life, would you want your friend to open her mouth with some downer opinion when you are finally about to splash out and enjoy something?
Put it this way, if you rain on my parade, you're not going to be the first one I pick up in my shiny, new car. Especially if it's still raining.
posted by iamkimiam at 1:50 AM on December 30, 2009 [5 favorites]
posted by iamkimiam at 1:50 AM on December 30, 2009 [5 favorites]
Don't stop her. 1> it isn't your money. You didn't earn it and shouldn't determine the reward for doing so. 2> the mental and physical responsibilty for owning a house and owning a car are way different. Maybe she doesn't want to get tied down long term or doesn't want the "headache" of dealing and owning the problems that come with home ownership.
posted by eggerspretty at 1:51 AM on December 30, 2009 [1 favorite]
posted by eggerspretty at 1:51 AM on December 30, 2009 [1 favorite]
Not all people strive, or even desire, to own a home. That said, given your close friendship, I don't see why starting a dialog on the matter would be unwelcome. Do not state your opinions as fact. "I'm so jealous of your new toy. My mind has wandered a few times, and I've given some though as to what I will do when/if I am in your position. I'm just curious -- what was your thought process? Did you consider buying a home or investment property at all before deciding on the car?" Perhaps you'll gain some insight. Be prepared, though - the truth might very well be, "this is what I want, and I don't want to overthink the joy out of it."
posted by biggity at 1:57 AM on December 30, 2009
posted by biggity at 1:57 AM on December 30, 2009
Best answer: Don't give her advice. If she is, as you say, bright, intelligent, articular and sensible, then she's probably done her research and is fully aware that the second she drives her brand new car off the lot, it's lost $5,000 in value.
I, too, know this, yet if I could afford to, I would buy a brand new car just ... well, just because.
Because it's something that nobody else has used before me.
Because it's a symbol of reaching a certain point in my life where I don't need to settle for the budget option.
Because I've never made a frivolous big purchase in my life.
Just because.
Be glad for her. Let her take you out in it, put the top down, and drive down the Pacific Coast Highway with the wind in your hair like Thelma and Louise.
I drive a 12-year-old Ford Escort. My heart yearns for a Lexus.
posted by essexjan at 1:59 AM on December 30, 2009 [12 favorites]
I, too, know this, yet if I could afford to, I would buy a brand new car just ... well, just because.
Because it's something that nobody else has used before me.
Because it's a symbol of reaching a certain point in my life where I don't need to settle for the budget option.
Because I've never made a frivolous big purchase in my life.
Just because.
Be glad for her. Let her take you out in it, put the top down, and drive down the Pacific Coast Highway with the wind in your hair like Thelma and Louise.
I drive a 12-year-old Ford Escort. My heart yearns for a Lexus.
posted by essexjan at 1:59 AM on December 30, 2009 [12 favorites]
I for one honestly don't plan on owning a home ever if I can help it. Yes, it theoretically appreciates in value, but you also have to pay property tax, and a ton of other things, including upkeep and care, that are much less on a car. She may not want to buy a house now. She may not want to buy a house ever.
On the other hand, buying a new car is something I plan on doing. It is a completely different ball of wax. And owning a nice, new car is something special - much different and much more pleasurable, I think, than owning a new house (which I see as a burden).
So - keep your nose out of it. Its not your house, its not your car.
posted by strixus at 2:01 AM on December 30, 2009 [1 favorite]
On the other hand, buying a new car is something I plan on doing. It is a completely different ball of wax. And owning a nice, new car is something special - much different and much more pleasurable, I think, than owning a new house (which I see as a burden).
So - keep your nose out of it. Its not your house, its not your car.
posted by strixus at 2:01 AM on December 30, 2009 [1 favorite]
Your friend isn't going to be putting herself in her danger. It sounds as if purchasing this car is something reasonably within her means as well. Any unsolicited advice you give will sound like bitter jealousy and be very unpleasant to hear. If you really are jealous at all, it will show very clearly.
Be happy for your friend, let her buy this treat for herself. If she's half as sensible as you say she is, she'll make the wise and boring investments soon enough.
posted by Saydur at 2:04 AM on December 30, 2009
Be happy for your friend, let her buy this treat for herself. If she's half as sensible as you say she is, she'll make the wise and boring investments soon enough.
posted by Saydur at 2:04 AM on December 30, 2009
There are plenty of reasons not to buy a house. I wouldn't say anything.
posted by Nattie at 2:08 AM on December 30, 2009
posted by Nattie at 2:08 AM on December 30, 2009
I too see buying a house mainly as a burden, but I wouldn't say as much to one of my friends if I thought they had been thoughtful in their plans and would get joy from it. If she's really as smart and financially sensible as you say, then let her do the thing that brings her joy. Nothing wrong with asking if she'd considered it, though.
If you need something to tell yourself so that you don't worry about her too much, it might be good to know that they say that one of the things that most increases the day to day happiness of commuters (ones who drive) is a comfortable car. If you're spending a good chunk of time in it day to day, it's really not just a getting-here-to-there tool any more.
posted by Lady Li at 2:09 AM on December 30, 2009
If you need something to tell yourself so that you don't worry about her too much, it might be good to know that they say that one of the things that most increases the day to day happiness of commuters (ones who drive) is a comfortable car. If you're spending a good chunk of time in it day to day, it's really not just a getting-here-to-there tool any more.
posted by Lady Li at 2:09 AM on December 30, 2009
What if the idea of a new car has some special psychological significance to her you aren't aware of? People have all kinds of hidden, inner motivations for the consumer choices they make, especially when it comes to Veblen goods...don't presume too much.
posted by aquafortis at 2:25 AM on December 30, 2009
posted by aquafortis at 2:25 AM on December 30, 2009
Response by poster: Thanks for all the answers. This is why I posted the question - I love her and it's great when she's happy and excited. And Saydur is right - she'll make the wise and boring investments eventually.
posted by gt2 at 2:37 AM on December 30, 2009
posted by gt2 at 2:37 AM on December 30, 2009
I wouldn't offer direct advice, especially since it's unsolicited and you don't seem especially qualified to give it. But I might ask questions like, "So, have you been craving a new car for, like, forever?" This might lead to, "Would a car that's a couple of years old be totally unsatisfying?" If she's comfortable with these questions, that's all you need to know. Even if she's not comfortable with them, you still don't need to say anything further; she'll either resolve or ignore her discomfort on her own.
posted by jon1270 at 2:38 AM on December 30, 2009
posted by jon1270 at 2:38 AM on December 30, 2009
What? She's your close friend, not a stranger. Don't rain on her parade and let her make her own choices, but there's no harm in talking to her and gauging how much she's thought about it. In my experience, people relationships are healthier when talked about and worked out, not danced around invisibly.
posted by suedehead at 2:40 AM on December 30, 2009
posted by suedehead at 2:40 AM on December 30, 2009
Please don't rain on her parade. Others above have said why you shouldn't, and I agree with them, but I'm going to suggest an alternative approach.
Get into the spirit. Buy her an accessory for it (and don't calculate what percentage of a mortgage payment it would be). A "car-warming" gift, like a dangly thing for the rear-vision mirror in her particular style (a tiny calculator keyring if she's an accountant, or crystals/beads if she's that way inclined... you get the drift) would be cool, I reckon.
Or you could buy her a decent set of carseat covers. She'll think it's thoughtful, you'll know it's lessening the depreciation. Win win.
But have fun with it, with her, FOR her. If I was your friend, I'd value that somewhere around above priceless.
(Disclaimer: been to a funeral today, am tending towards carpe diem rather than that-coffee-cost-$3-that-could-have-been-paid-off-the-mortgage.)
posted by malibustacey9999 at 2:44 AM on December 30, 2009 [2 favorites]
Get into the spirit. Buy her an accessory for it (and don't calculate what percentage of a mortgage payment it would be). A "car-warming" gift, like a dangly thing for the rear-vision mirror in her particular style (a tiny calculator keyring if she's an accountant, or crystals/beads if she's that way inclined... you get the drift) would be cool, I reckon.
Or you could buy her a decent set of carseat covers. She'll think it's thoughtful, you'll know it's lessening the depreciation. Win win.
But have fun with it, with her, FOR her. If I was your friend, I'd value that somewhere around above priceless.
(Disclaimer: been to a funeral today, am tending towards carpe diem rather than that-coffee-cost-$3-that-could-have-been-paid-off-the-mortgage.)
posted by malibustacey9999 at 2:44 AM on December 30, 2009 [2 favorites]
If someone bought a new computer, would you tell them that they should have bought that computer company's stock instead?
posted by autoclavicle at 2:59 AM on December 30, 2009 [2 favorites]
posted by autoclavicle at 2:59 AM on December 30, 2009 [2 favorites]
There are some good answers here.
It also seems like you're making too big a deal of this, frankly. It's possible to say briefly, when first told about something like this: "hmm. So you're aware it'll depreciate in value a lot quicker than, say, a house, right?" [Of course - I'm just excited about this car...] "Ah - I figured. Well, I'm happy for you - give me a call so we can go for a ride together in it!"
The best way to avoid sounding like you're being patronizing or parentish when you give people advice is to avoid being formal about it and sitting them down to tell them; just say it and be done with it, making it clear that it's not a huge deal to you if it isn't to them.
posted by koeselitz at 3:38 AM on December 30, 2009
It also seems like you're making too big a deal of this, frankly. It's possible to say briefly, when first told about something like this: "hmm. So you're aware it'll depreciate in value a lot quicker than, say, a house, right?" [Of course - I'm just excited about this car...] "Ah - I figured. Well, I'm happy for you - give me a call so we can go for a ride together in it!"
The best way to avoid sounding like you're being patronizing or parentish when you give people advice is to avoid being formal about it and sitting them down to tell them; just say it and be done with it, making it clear that it's not a huge deal to you if it isn't to them.
posted by koeselitz at 3:38 AM on December 30, 2009
Like other people have said, realize that the decision she is making is based on HER priorities, not yours. While investing may be a priority for you, maybe having a nice, new stress-free car with a warranty and modern features is would make her happier than a few thousand dollars several years down the line. So long as it's not a self-destructive action, I think that it's best to realize that everyone wants different things and makes decisions accordingly.
posted by Schismatic at 4:20 AM on December 30, 2009
posted by Schismatic at 4:20 AM on December 30, 2009
It's also worth bearing in mind that houses are much more expensive than cars. Consider the possibility that your friend knows everything you want to tell her, but also knows that she can't afford to take on a mortgage.
posted by metaBugs at 4:36 AM on December 30, 2009 [1 favorite]
posted by metaBugs at 4:36 AM on December 30, 2009 [1 favorite]
It's not like car depreciation is some little known aspect. She knows. Don't say anything about it.
posted by orange swan at 4:44 AM on December 30, 2009 [2 favorites]
posted by orange swan at 4:44 AM on December 30, 2009 [2 favorites]
It might be a little different if your opinion was useful or correct here, but. Buying a "new, expensive car...totally excited about it" is thoroughly unrelated to buying a house or making some other sort of investment. She's buying something fun; she's not trying to save for the future. It's not a bad investment -- it's not an investment at all.
I would stay away from even "Would a car that's a couple of years old be totally unsatisfying?" It will smack of parade-raining and there is no way she wants to hear it.
posted by kmennie at 4:55 AM on December 30, 2009
I would stay away from even "Would a car that's a couple of years old be totally unsatisfying?" It will smack of parade-raining and there is no way she wants to hear it.
posted by kmennie at 4:55 AM on December 30, 2009
Yeah, I mean, it would be one thing if, say, your friend was already deeply in debt and then decided to buy a car that she couldn't afford. In that case, I think it would be totally okay to gently say, "hey, you might want to think this through." But if your only concern is that she's not spending money the way that *you* think it should be spent, then yeah, it's probably best to button it.
posted by Afroblanco at 5:30 AM on December 30, 2009
posted by Afroblanco at 5:30 AM on December 30, 2009
"There are two situations in life when one should give advice: when it's life or death and when it's asked for."
I don't recall who said it, but it's true.
posted by Solomon at 5:34 AM on December 30, 2009 [13 favorites]
I don't recall who said it, but it's true.
posted by Solomon at 5:34 AM on December 30, 2009 [13 favorites]
My sensible hardworking son bought an 87 restored Camaro off ebay a couple of years ago. Totally out of character for him.
That car has been an absolute joy to him. Yeah, crappy gas mileage. Yeah, not practical. But I have to say that when he bought it that was the happiest I had ever heard him sound and he loves that car to this day.
Don't say anything to your friend.
posted by St. Alia of the Bunnies at 5:48 AM on December 30, 2009 [5 favorites]
That car has been an absolute joy to him. Yeah, crappy gas mileage. Yeah, not practical. But I have to say that when he bought it that was the happiest I had ever heard him sound and he loves that car to this day.
Don't say anything to your friend.
posted by St. Alia of the Bunnies at 5:48 AM on December 30, 2009 [5 favorites]
Unasked for advice is criticism.
posted by snowjoe at 6:54 AM on December 30, 2009 [8 favorites]
posted by snowjoe at 6:54 AM on December 30, 2009 [8 favorites]
I understand, I have friends that make choices I would never make. Sometimes it makes me crazy, but it takes all kinds of people to make up this world. Some people would really like to live in the suburbs, some of them want to by condos, some of them spend all their money on travel and have no savings.
The important thing is to realize that they get to make their own choices, because they are adults. And if they are any friend of yours, you need to work on respecting those choices. This maybe the thing your parents have trouble remembering - you are an adult.
If I were to say anything to this friend, it would be to only share how you would have made a different choice. It doesn't rain on her parade for you too to talk about your different priorities, as long as your careful not to judge, for example, "I think your priorities are stupid."
posted by Gor-ella at 6:55 AM on December 30, 2009
The important thing is to realize that they get to make their own choices, because they are adults. And if they are any friend of yours, you need to work on respecting those choices. This maybe the thing your parents have trouble remembering - you are an adult.
If I were to say anything to this friend, it would be to only share how you would have made a different choice. It doesn't rain on her parade for you too to talk about your different priorities, as long as your careful not to judge, for example, "I think your priorities are stupid."
posted by Gor-ella at 6:55 AM on December 30, 2009
Response by poster: Lots of good answers. Yeah, I'm not going to offer any unasked for advice - I am the last person to give any financial advice since I am one of those people who travel instead of save :) I think I was more freaked out about the amount of money, but I realize that that is my deal, not hers. ($45,000!!) And she has always made great decisions about everything and I think this is a decision about choosing something fun and joyful instead of choosing something that is just a responsibility and a burden. And I don't want to be my mom : )
posted by gt2 at 7:44 AM on December 30, 2009
posted by gt2 at 7:44 AM on December 30, 2009
Wow, is she paying cash for that or getting it financed? That is one expensive car, so I can understand why you'd be freaked out, especially if all of her savings are going into it. It's a terrible investment. But in any event, it's not your place to criticize her, as everyone else has pointed out. However, especially because you have your own financial issues, I think it would be a great idea, a little bit later after she's had the car for a while, just to talk with your friend more generally about finances as a way of learning more about the issue and exploring it for yourself -- NOT as a way to criticize her.
If people were more open and honest with themselves about their financial decisions they would make better choices. One way to do this is to frankly discuss it with other people -- which can feel like the biggest taboo in our society, sometimes!
posted by yarly at 8:20 AM on December 30, 2009
If people were more open and honest with themselves about their financial decisions they would make better choices. One way to do this is to frankly discuss it with other people -- which can feel like the biggest taboo in our society, sometimes!
posted by yarly at 8:20 AM on December 30, 2009
You know, these AskMe questions about unwanted advice always get immediate, blunt answers about "it's not your business/money/etc so keep out," which to me is very Dear-Abby-esque. I'm glad to see there are also answers here to the tune of "she's your close friend: simply bring it up in a discussion." Good friends talk things out. There is absolutely no reason for you not to say anything if you're concerned, as long as you do it in a friendly and caring way. Don't go into it thinking you're going to change her mind; rather, approach it as a friend checking in with his close friend about a very, very major life decision.
posted by ORthey at 8:29 AM on December 30, 2009 [1 favorite]
posted by ORthey at 8:29 AM on December 30, 2009 [1 favorite]
1. $45k is not an expensive car depending on her income. There are people for whom a Porsche Carerra is not an expensive car and people for whom a Kia is an expensive car. Everything is relative.
2. The thing is - she doesn't own a house or any property yet and I want to point out to her a new car always depreciates in value while in the long run (five or ten years or more), I think property appreciates.. Regardless of whether you want to discuss it or not, this is the central point of your objection. I am assuming that she is young based on the fact that this is the first time she's felt financially comfortable. Property does not always appreciate as you might have observed from the last few years and moreover a suggestion that a single person who is young and early in their career (prone to move around) should buy property is a little ridiculous. All it does is tie you down and limit your options.
3. Think hard on that last sentence of #2.
4. It's not like this is a life or death commitment for her. Yes, cars are stupid purchases that depreciate quickly, but so is a laptop, an ipod, and so on. The absolute #s are different but the %age is generally as bad or worse.
That said, as a friend, you can offer your opinion in such a way as to not offend. If you can't, you're not close enough to do it at all. I have a good friend who buys cars _constantly_ (he's had five cars in 6 years - progressively more expensive as he went) and he _knows_ this is insane and we've talked about it. But he maxes out his 401k and has savings on top of that, and has for a decade, so it's not like he is jeopardizing his retirement or future.
posted by rr at 8:49 AM on December 30, 2009 [1 favorite]
2. The thing is - she doesn't own a house or any property yet and I want to point out to her a new car always depreciates in value while in the long run (five or ten years or more), I think property appreciates.. Regardless of whether you want to discuss it or not, this is the central point of your objection. I am assuming that she is young based on the fact that this is the first time she's felt financially comfortable. Property does not always appreciate as you might have observed from the last few years and moreover a suggestion that a single person who is young and early in their career (prone to move around) should buy property is a little ridiculous. All it does is tie you down and limit your options.
3. Think hard on that last sentence of #2.
4. It's not like this is a life or death commitment for her. Yes, cars are stupid purchases that depreciate quickly, but so is a laptop, an ipod, and so on. The absolute #s are different but the %age is generally as bad or worse.
That said, as a friend, you can offer your opinion in such a way as to not offend. If you can't, you're not close enough to do it at all. I have a good friend who buys cars _constantly_ (he's had five cars in 6 years - progressively more expensive as he went) and he _knows_ this is insane and we've talked about it. But he maxes out his 401k and has savings on top of that, and has for a decade, so it's not like he is jeopardizing his retirement or future.
posted by rr at 8:49 AM on December 30, 2009 [1 favorite]
I think she's probably thought about how she doesn't yet own a home and has decided a pricey car is for her.
posted by anniecat at 9:04 AM on December 30, 2009
posted by anniecat at 9:04 AM on December 30, 2009
This isn't your business. You really don't know her fiances unless you have her bank statements and all of that. Therefore, your advice would be uninformed.
Its ok if your friend has shiny things.
posted by Ironmouth at 9:08 AM on December 30, 2009
Its ok if your friend has shiny things.
posted by Ironmouth at 9:08 AM on December 30, 2009
The support of good friends: this is why people can indeed have nice things.
posted by kch at 9:49 AM on December 30, 2009
posted by kch at 9:49 AM on December 30, 2009
Even though cars depreciate in resell value, the car will still have value to her. My car is worth very little, but if someone offered me that much for it, I would say no, because having a car that I know how it works, that I like, that gets me where I want to go is worth more than having the money but no car.
She's probably intending on having the car for a long time, so I doubt she's that worried about how much it will be worth way off in the future if she wants to sell it.
posted by ishotjr at 10:22 AM on December 30, 2009
She's probably intending on having the car for a long time, so I doubt she's that worried about how much it will be worth way off in the future if she wants to sell it.
posted by ishotjr at 10:22 AM on December 30, 2009
The thing is that it's just money.
The only reason I would give unwanted advice to a friend would be if they were putting themselves or others in danger (driving while intoxicated, for instance).
Making a possibly-ill-advised purchase? No intervention necessary.
posted by Sidhedevil at 10:47 AM on December 30, 2009
The only reason I would give unwanted advice to a friend would be if they were putting themselves or others in danger (driving while intoxicated, for instance).
Making a possibly-ill-advised purchase? No intervention necessary.
posted by Sidhedevil at 10:47 AM on December 30, 2009
I think property appreciates
In the longest of long runs, yes. But generally it's only worth buying a house if you plan on being there a few years -- certainly 5, perhaps even at least ten.
During the housing boom in the US and UK it became conventional wisdom that you could expect 10% appreciation annually, and there was in fact a Realtors billboard in my city that proclaimed this well past the beginning of the crash. This was not historically the case. It is absolutely not true now. In fact many US markets are still declining and may not bottom out until late 2010 or early 2011. After that appreciation is going to be comparatively slow versus the average and nothing at all like the boom.
So this is not necessarily the time to buy property. It can be -- if you can get a mortgage, if you can buy cash, if you can outbid flippers for foreclosure properties, and so forth -- but most people are not in a position to really take advantage of the property as investment thing at this particular moment.
posted by dhartung at 10:52 AM on December 30, 2009 [1 favorite]
In the longest of long runs, yes. But generally it's only worth buying a house if you plan on being there a few years -- certainly 5, perhaps even at least ten.
During the housing boom in the US and UK it became conventional wisdom that you could expect 10% appreciation annually, and there was in fact a Realtors billboard in my city that proclaimed this well past the beginning of the crash. This was not historically the case. It is absolutely not true now. In fact many US markets are still declining and may not bottom out until late 2010 or early 2011. After that appreciation is going to be comparatively slow versus the average and nothing at all like the boom.
So this is not necessarily the time to buy property. It can be -- if you can get a mortgage, if you can buy cash, if you can outbid flippers for foreclosure properties, and so forth -- but most people are not in a position to really take advantage of the property as investment thing at this particular moment.
posted by dhartung at 10:52 AM on December 30, 2009 [1 favorite]
I think property appreciates
I read recently that since they started measuring in 1948, property has averaged a 2% annualized return in the US as a whole. So YMMV on the appreciation thing.
posted by small_ruminant at 12:12 PM on December 30, 2009 [1 favorite]
I read recently that since they started measuring in 1948, property has averaged a 2% annualized return in the US as a whole. So YMMV on the appreciation thing.
posted by small_ruminant at 12:12 PM on December 30, 2009 [1 favorite]
Here's a CNN blurb that suggests the number is 3%, since 1890.
That said, it doesn't look like she's interested in investments at all. It's like saying someone should buy a share of stock instead of paying $20 for a pound of stilton cheese. It will rightfully come across as a criticism of her priorities for being different from yours.
posted by small_ruminant at 12:20 PM on December 30, 2009
That said, it doesn't look like she's interested in investments at all. It's like saying someone should buy a share of stock instead of paying $20 for a pound of stilton cheese. It will rightfully come across as a criticism of her priorities for being different from yours.
posted by small_ruminant at 12:20 PM on December 30, 2009
i bought a car before i bought a house for several reasons: 1) i was living in an area where houses were hugely expensive and i didn't have a full 20% down payment 2) i spent a lot of time driving to my job and 3) car payments + rent were far far less than mortgage payments ever would have been.
as a datapoint, my car maintained the purchase price and i sold it for that price while my house has depreciated dramatically. i know that situation is unusual but there you have it.
your assumption is that your friend hasn't thought through what she's doing which seems odd b/c your description of her would suggest that is contrary to how she lives her life. imho, myob.
posted by memi at 3:32 PM on December 30, 2009
as a datapoint, my car maintained the purchase price and i sold it for that price while my house has depreciated dramatically. i know that situation is unusual but there you have it.
your assumption is that your friend hasn't thought through what she's doing which seems odd b/c your description of her would suggest that is contrary to how she lives her life. imho, myob.
posted by memi at 3:32 PM on December 30, 2009
This thread is closed to new comments.
posted by just.good.enough at 1:42 AM on December 30, 2009