How can I write a vacation rental review when the owner was drunk the entire time?
December 18, 2009 8:57 AM Subscribe
Reviewing a vacation property. The owner was drunk the entire time. What would you do?
We've rented a vacation property with a group of friends. We're Americans and all experienced travelers, many of us in this part of the world. The rental is in Mexico. It had good reviews and was pretty affordable. We arrived and the conditions were as described in the multiple listings. We had no problems transferring payment. The owner is American and lives on site in a different part of the property.
The problem(s) is with the owner. He has been WASTED the entire week that we've been here. I don't mean buzzed. I mean falling down drunk morning-noon-and-night for 7 days.
We wouldn't care so much except for:
(1) empty promises - a few examples - he had some stuff shipped to our house in the U.S. and promised us dinner and beer for bringing it. Neither has appeared even though we brought it up multiple times; also he promised beer in exchange for some tech support. No beer appeared. Also he said that he'd call a doctor for some help for a sinus infection on one of the kids. He kept on forgetting or telling us the wrong thing ("Show up at noon." and the office is closed.) He also said (via email) that he would arrange for our kids to use the neighbors' pool and forgot even after he was reminded in person.
(2) general creepiness - whenever we go out to the cars to go somewhere he asks where we are going. We wouldn't care, but he always has a comment - like "Oh, don't go to that supermarket. Go to the other one." And we answer, "Sure, but that supermarket has baby food, so we have to go to it." And flirting with the female members of our party happened a lot. He tried to hang out with us too.
(3) technology - he has been tweeting publicly commentary on our stay and especially about our kids, even giving them nicknames. Example: "Baby Bubba digging a tunnel to China. He must be hungry." or "Baby Guido wearing a lot of tank tops." His Twitter is easy to find, as he has been forwarding us emails all week about random stuff as well as Google alerts about the property (where those tweets show up.)
(4) beer - he requested that we keep beer on the patio because "all the opening and closing of the fridge won't keep 'em cold" and every day MANY beers have gone missing. Our empties count doesn't add up to the number purchased. We've seen him take beer from the cooler and hear him taking them at night - and see footprints in the sand from his area to our cooler.
Each of these 4 alone wouldn't be a big deal and are all pretty harmless, but all combined is not okay. It hasn't ruined our trip at all, but I doubt that we'll come back to this location.
We also ran into the people that stayed the week before and had their wedding here. (They're now down the beach but were coming to poach internet). They were also annoyed.
So, my question is - how can I deal with this in the review? As I understand it, tripadvisor, VRBO and those type of places allow owners to comment and/or delete reviews.
I also don't want to ruin his business. I'm sure he is sad and lonely and an alcoholic. BUT, I think that people would like to know that they shouldn't rely on him to be a very helpful host and to be careful with their beer. How can I say that without creating a cyberwar? Or should I just not comment at all?
We've rented a vacation property with a group of friends. We're Americans and all experienced travelers, many of us in this part of the world. The rental is in Mexico. It had good reviews and was pretty affordable. We arrived and the conditions were as described in the multiple listings. We had no problems transferring payment. The owner is American and lives on site in a different part of the property.
The problem(s) is with the owner. He has been WASTED the entire week that we've been here. I don't mean buzzed. I mean falling down drunk morning-noon-and-night for 7 days.
We wouldn't care so much except for:
(1) empty promises - a few examples - he had some stuff shipped to our house in the U.S. and promised us dinner and beer for bringing it. Neither has appeared even though we brought it up multiple times; also he promised beer in exchange for some tech support. No beer appeared. Also he said that he'd call a doctor for some help for a sinus infection on one of the kids. He kept on forgetting or telling us the wrong thing ("Show up at noon." and the office is closed.) He also said (via email) that he would arrange for our kids to use the neighbors' pool and forgot even after he was reminded in person.
(2) general creepiness - whenever we go out to the cars to go somewhere he asks where we are going. We wouldn't care, but he always has a comment - like "Oh, don't go to that supermarket. Go to the other one." And we answer, "Sure, but that supermarket has baby food, so we have to go to it." And flirting with the female members of our party happened a lot. He tried to hang out with us too.
(3) technology - he has been tweeting publicly commentary on our stay and especially about our kids, even giving them nicknames. Example: "Baby Bubba digging a tunnel to China. He must be hungry." or "Baby Guido wearing a lot of tank tops." His Twitter is easy to find, as he has been forwarding us emails all week about random stuff as well as Google alerts about the property (where those tweets show up.)
(4) beer - he requested that we keep beer on the patio because "all the opening and closing of the fridge won't keep 'em cold" and every day MANY beers have gone missing. Our empties count doesn't add up to the number purchased. We've seen him take beer from the cooler and hear him taking them at night - and see footprints in the sand from his area to our cooler.
Each of these 4 alone wouldn't be a big deal and are all pretty harmless, but all combined is not okay. It hasn't ruined our trip at all, but I doubt that we'll come back to this location.
We also ran into the people that stayed the week before and had their wedding here. (They're now down the beach but were coming to poach internet). They were also annoyed.
So, my question is - how can I deal with this in the review? As I understand it, tripadvisor, VRBO and those type of places allow owners to comment and/or delete reviews.
I also don't want to ruin his business. I'm sure he is sad and lonely and an alcoholic. BUT, I think that people would like to know that they shouldn't rely on him to be a very helpful host and to be careful with their beer. How can I say that without creating a cyberwar? Or should I just not comment at all?
If I were the next renter and I didn't find out this stuff in advance, I'd be pissed. These things may not fall into the category of "terrible" for you, but they certainly do for me, so I'd consider my vacation there a very unpleasant thing. Please look out for the next renter and do an honest review.
posted by BlahLaLa at 9:16 AM on December 18, 2009 [3 favorites]
posted by BlahLaLa at 9:16 AM on December 18, 2009 [3 favorites]
If you write the review be honest about what was good and bad. Otherwise don't write anything.
You don't have an obligation to write a review but if you do write one you owe the people who read it (including drunk owner) as objective a review as you can manage.
posted by Babblesort at 9:16 AM on December 18, 2009
You don't have an obligation to write a review but if you do write one you owe the people who read it (including drunk owner) as objective a review as you can manage.
posted by Babblesort at 9:16 AM on December 18, 2009
I review places for TripAdvisor all the time. I've given exactly one bad review, but I've seen other ones. The owner can respond sort of like with eBay feedback but they definitely can't delete reviews. This guy sounds totally creepy and quite likely a thief. It's good that it didn't wreck your vacation, but it would have totally wrecked mine.
I say give a sort of flat neutral assessment of your time there, stick to what you know [i.e. "we think he took our beer" not the longer narrative in this question] and leave it after that. Empty promises are lame but not maybe actionable, but stealing your things and being flirty/creepy with women are things a prospective renter would definitely want to know. His alcohol problem is his problem. I have sort of a personal GRAR response to creepy alcoholics and my feeling is that if he's a creepy inappropriate businessman, for whatever reason, it's not on you if it ruins his business.
posted by jessamyn at 9:21 AM on December 18, 2009
I say give a sort of flat neutral assessment of your time there, stick to what you know [i.e. "we think he took our beer" not the longer narrative in this question] and leave it after that. Empty promises are lame but not maybe actionable, but stealing your things and being flirty/creepy with women are things a prospective renter would definitely want to know. His alcohol problem is his problem. I have sort of a personal GRAR response to creepy alcoholics and my feeling is that if he's a creepy inappropriate businessman, for whatever reason, it's not on you if it ruins his business.
posted by jessamyn at 9:21 AM on December 18, 2009
It would be hard for me to give a bad review in a situation like this, especially since you got to know the owner somewhat. But I agree with the other posters that you'd be doing other travelers a favor by being forthright. And maybe the owner himself will consider the feedback and at least clean up his act as far as behavior with guests are concerned.
posted by M.C. Lo-Carb! at 9:37 AM on December 18, 2009
posted by M.C. Lo-Carb! at 9:37 AM on December 18, 2009
Response by poster: I like what Jessamyn says, but how can I tactfully say that he was DRUNK 24/7? I'd imagine that people, especially those with kids or with a special event, would want to know this.
posted by k8t at 9:45 AM on December 18, 2009
posted by k8t at 9:45 AM on December 18, 2009
How about, "The location was lovely but we there were a lot of uncomfortable moments because the owner was always around and seemed to be drunk 24/7."
posted by Babblesort at 9:49 AM on December 18, 2009
posted by Babblesort at 9:49 AM on December 18, 2009
Best answer: "Owner appeared inebriated whenever we saw him, day or night, and acted inappropriately including twittering about our activities, emailing us constantly, flirting with female members of our group and asking too many personal questions"
posted by jessamyn at 9:50 AM on December 18, 2009 [9 favorites]
posted by jessamyn at 9:50 AM on December 18, 2009 [9 favorites]
Best answer: Really, I would stay away from accusations of drunk, because God forbid this ends up in court - this is someone's business you're talking about here - and stick to things that can be verified by an impartial 3rd party later down the road.
Great location, stunning views, property exactly as described, excellent for families (etc.)
The only drawback to our stay was the over-enthusiasm of the property owner, who seemed present to the point of intrusiveness, and who has a tendencey to post public Twitter messages about his guests' private stay. There was also an issue with beer left in the patio cooler going missing, which we found inexplicable in such a quiet, safe and remote location.
For us, these were significant drawbacks that marred our vacation; others may well find such behaviour more tolerable.
Be aware that should you post a review that is negative in any way, you will likely be faced with a retaliatory barrage of emails from the owner. Since this is entirely predictable and your business with him is concluded, I suggest you filter them straight to Trash. Do not bother to be offended, do not engage.
posted by DarlingBri at 9:59 AM on December 18, 2009 [2 favorites]
Great location, stunning views, property exactly as described, excellent for families (etc.)
The only drawback to our stay was the over-enthusiasm of the property owner, who seemed present to the point of intrusiveness, and who has a tendencey to post public Twitter messages about his guests' private stay. There was also an issue with beer left in the patio cooler going missing, which we found inexplicable in such a quiet, safe and remote location.
For us, these were significant drawbacks that marred our vacation; others may well find such behaviour more tolerable.
Be aware that should you post a review that is negative in any way, you will likely be faced with a retaliatory barrage of emails from the owner. Since this is entirely predictable and your business with him is concluded, I suggest you filter them straight to Trash. Do not bother to be offended, do not engage.
posted by DarlingBri at 9:59 AM on December 18, 2009 [2 favorites]
I don't have kids and have been known to party and drink a lot while on vacation in Mexico. I am not a prude.
But this is way beyond bad. You are being way too nice about this IMO. People on vacation shouldn't get into a weird creepy situation like this. I'd be extremely upset if this had happened to me.
I hope that you write an entirely honest review about what happened.
posted by jeff-o-matic at 10:13 AM on December 18, 2009
But this is way beyond bad. You are being way too nice about this IMO. People on vacation shouldn't get into a weird creepy situation like this. I'd be extremely upset if this had happened to me.
I hope that you write an entirely honest review about what happened.
posted by jeff-o-matic at 10:13 AM on December 18, 2009
Response by poster: One of my co-guests mentioned that we should be careful about reviews and double check our contract in case he tries to retaliate via damage charges.
posted by k8t at 11:59 AM on December 18, 2009
posted by k8t at 11:59 AM on December 18, 2009
Best answer: I wouldn't do anything until you've returned home from the vacation, paid for the rental, and the owner has no chance to increase your bill or anything else shady.
And, if you can't prove that he was drunk - because you didn't see him submit to a breathalyzer or whatever - say that he APPEARED drunk. Seriously, you do owe to future potential guests to warn them of what your time was like there. His actions might not be more than you can tolerate, but many other people would consider them unacceptable.
posted by dubold at 12:47 PM on December 18, 2009 [1 favorite]
And, if you can't prove that he was drunk - because you didn't see him submit to a breathalyzer or whatever - say that he APPEARED drunk. Seriously, you do owe to future potential guests to warn them of what your time was like there. His actions might not be more than you can tolerate, but many other people would consider them unacceptable.
posted by dubold at 12:47 PM on December 18, 2009 [1 favorite]
Wow - sorry. I would minimize my face time with him as much as possible. Do you really even WANT to have dinner with him?... As far as the review goes, don't hold back, but make sure you say "appeared" drunk.
posted by xammerboy at 1:11 PM on December 18, 2009
posted by xammerboy at 1:11 PM on December 18, 2009
I just had a review rejected by TripAdvisor because I described something that I felt was true rather than something proven, objectively true. It was a minor thing, but I had to rewrite the review to make the statement an objective statement of fact.
So out of respect for other travelers, I would say do write a review, but keep it as straightforward and factual as possible, like "Owner publicly posted Twitter statements about our family's activities" (easy to prove) plus one or two other plain statements about observable behavior from which people can draw conclusions.
By the way, just the Twitter thing would be enough to keep me away from the place.
posted by PatoPata at 3:15 AM on December 19, 2009 [1 favorite]
So out of respect for other travelers, I would say do write a review, but keep it as straightforward and factual as possible, like "Owner publicly posted Twitter statements about our family's activities" (easy to prove) plus one or two other plain statements about observable behavior from which people can draw conclusions.
By the way, just the Twitter thing would be enough to keep me away from the place.
posted by PatoPata at 3:15 AM on December 19, 2009 [1 favorite]
This guy sounds a little too creepy for me. Personally, if I were in your situation, I would be checking all the smoke alarms, alarm clocks, etc. to make sure they are not hidden cameras.
posted by tfmm at 2:18 PM on December 19, 2009
posted by tfmm at 2:18 PM on December 19, 2009
Response by poster: Just to follow up. After we mentioned a few more times about the missing beer, he did pop a 6 pack in the cooler after midnight the night before we had to check out at 11am the next morning.
Some of our friends got delayed for a day, so they kept the beer.
Thanks to all for the advice. I'm going to write what Jessamyn said but add some of the positives about the place. I'm going to wait at least a week in case he tries to get some of us for damages.
We took photos when we left, BTW.
posted by k8t at 5:55 PM on December 20, 2009
Some of our friends got delayed for a day, so they kept the beer.
Thanks to all for the advice. I'm going to write what Jessamyn said but add some of the positives about the place. I'm going to wait at least a week in case he tries to get some of us for damages.
We took photos when we left, BTW.
posted by k8t at 5:55 PM on December 20, 2009
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It sounds like this fella, alcoholic or not, has made his own bed.
posted by elder18 at 9:10 AM on December 18, 2009 [1 favorite]