Teaching an old dog new tricks...that I learned from another dog.
December 15, 2009 8:50 AM Subscribe
How can I teach my ex what I've learned while we were apart?
posted by blackcatcuriouser to human relations (16 answers total) 7 users marked this as a favorite
My ex-boyfriend and I are in talks about getting back together. We've been broken up for a little less than a year, in what was a mutual, amicable breakup. We haven't discussed our sexual involvements with other people during the separation period (feel it's unnecessary, as long as we're both still clean - which we are.) We both know we got physical with other people while we were broken up (for various reasons that aren't important to the question) but haven't talked details, which I think we both prefer.
I had a brief fling with a guy over the summer. It was exciting while it lasted and the sex was unbelievable. He dropped some moves on me that I'd never ever seen and my body did things I didn't know it could do. (I'll spare you the salacious details but rest assured...it was good.) We would also use dirty talk in our pre-coital flirtations and it was a major turn-on. This is something I'd never done in the many years of dating my ex and is something my ex has said he's uncomfortable doing.
Summer fling guy is way out of the picture now, as it was a totally casual thing with no emotional involvement. I'm not interested in seeing him again, nor will I. I would like to work on getting back together with my ex, whom I love. Sex with the ex has always been good, but I'm worried that now that I've discovered some new, almost life-changing things that excite me, I won't feel entirely satisfied by him.
I want to reach the same sexual high with him that I did with Summerfling. I realize this probably requires a "Hey, why don't we try this?" or a "I'd love it if you did thisthing." I'd like to suggest some new things for us to do, or rather, new things for him to do to more efficiently get me off, without him feeling like I was comparing him to people I'd slept with while we were broken up. Admittedly, that's probably where my mind would go too if he started suggesting all these new things he was never into before. Added challenge: My ex and I have very different communication styles. He's very awkward about any sort of sex talk; gets kind of uncomfortable.
So how do I broach this topic with him if and when we get back together? Is it something I can gently ease him into during sex? Should it be a separate conversation?