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December 11, 2009 8:09 PM Subscribe
Young male living alone--no insurance, very little discretionary income, getting married soon, and I have difficulty maintaining an erection for more than 3-4 minutes. Anything I can do?
As indicated, I am a mid-twenties male who recently moved out on my own in SC. I currently have no insurance. I am living paycheck to paycheck for the next few months/year, between wedding costs and minimal furniture for the new place plus bills. I am healthy per my last doctor's visit a few years ago.
I am unable to maintain an erection for more than 3-5 minutes. It does not appear to be psychological; we have had a 5+ year relationship and I am very relaxed around/attracted to her. We make do, but ultimately I lose my erection while happily engaged in otherwise satisfying sex, 3-5 minutes from when I achieve it. I still feel the urge but the erection is gone.
Given my situation--no insurance, little money for the foreseeable future--is there anything I can do? Or am I basically stuck (until I can afford insurance and an apparently not-cheap-at-all prescription, presumably years hence?)
As indicated, I am a mid-twenties male who recently moved out on my own in SC. I currently have no insurance. I am living paycheck to paycheck for the next few months/year, between wedding costs and minimal furniture for the new place plus bills. I am healthy per my last doctor's visit a few years ago.
I am unable to maintain an erection for more than 3-5 minutes. It does not appear to be psychological; we have had a 5+ year relationship and I am very relaxed around/attracted to her. We make do, but ultimately I lose my erection while happily engaged in otherwise satisfying sex, 3-5 minutes from when I achieve it. I still feel the urge but the erection is gone.
Given my situation--no insurance, little money for the foreseeable future--is there anything I can do? Or am I basically stuck (until I can afford insurance and an apparently not-cheap-at-all prescription, presumably years hence?)
Second bkeene...but also, self fulfilling prophecy at this point? You know its going to happen and are waiting for it to happen. You could validate/dismess this theory if you knew if your body maintained sleep erections while your conscious mind was unaware. Can your fiancee check on you while you sleep?
What about looking at porn? Could you stay erect if you were alone with the internet for a whole ten minutes? Constantly stimulated with no distractions or other people? At any rate, answers to these questions might be good to have at the ready when you see the doctor that you absolutely MUST go see.
posted by esereth at 9:47 PM on December 11, 2009
What about looking at porn? Could you stay erect if you were alone with the internet for a whole ten minutes? Constantly stimulated with no distractions or other people? At any rate, answers to these questions might be good to have at the ready when you see the doctor that you absolutely MUST go see.
posted by esereth at 9:47 PM on December 11, 2009
I assume that you have already tried the lone pharmacological option that exists over the counter - yohimbine hydrochloride.
That said, I would ask you one question - do you bike a lot? Bicycle seats can damage the delicate microvasculature necessary to maintain an erection. I have heard of some patients undergoing microsurgery to repair these defects. However, in some individuals these problems can be reversible by simply switching to a post bicycle seat.
Another question - do you use any illegal drugs? MDMA (the active ingredient in ecstasy) has been known to cause this side effect.
Are you taking antihypertensives? Any beta blockers?
posted by verapamil at 10:44 PM on December 11, 2009
That said, I would ask you one question - do you bike a lot? Bicycle seats can damage the delicate microvasculature necessary to maintain an erection. I have heard of some patients undergoing microsurgery to repair these defects. However, in some individuals these problems can be reversible by simply switching to a post bicycle seat.
Another question - do you use any illegal drugs? MDMA (the active ingredient in ecstasy) has been known to cause this side effect.
Are you taking antihypertensives? Any beta blockers?
posted by verapamil at 10:44 PM on December 11, 2009
Anonymous, you said, "I am healthy per my last doctor's visit a few years ago." Oh boy. There is no way you can say you're completely healthy now if your last doctor's visit was a few years ago. If you feel healthy, and you feel aroused, but you can't maintain an erection, see a doctor. I don't want to cause a panic, but you never know: there might be a condition that surfaced after your last check-up.
Sex is an important part of marriage, and it should go without saying that your health is really the only thing you have. Can you get to a general hospital or some place that can see you without requiring payment up front? Two years ago I had to go to the emergency room and I was freelancing at the time. I didn't have insurance, so I filled out a form that was given to me by a nurse and a charity took care of my visit. Find a free clinic. Do something!
posted by consilience at 10:55 PM on December 11, 2009
Sex is an important part of marriage, and it should go without saying that your health is really the only thing you have. Can you get to a general hospital or some place that can see you without requiring payment up front? Two years ago I had to go to the emergency room and I was freelancing at the time. I didn't have insurance, so I filled out a form that was given to me by a nurse and a charity took care of my visit. Find a free clinic. Do something!
posted by consilience at 10:55 PM on December 11, 2009
Have you ever been able to keep an erection for longer?
posted by Nattie at 11:09 PM on December 11, 2009
posted by Nattie at 11:09 PM on December 11, 2009
A cock ring may be some help in the short term but at your age this is something you should really talk to a doc about. Also, if you have ADHD your mind may tend to lose focus fairly quickly from what you're doing. This can also happen if you're under some kind of psychological stress. I have this problem on occasion, but I tend to over think everything and sometimes have a problem turning my brain off and just enjoying what's happening. YMMV. Cock ring video. Sorry couldn't resist.
posted by white_devil at 11:53 PM on December 11, 2009
posted by white_devil at 11:53 PM on December 11, 2009
Funny, but I thought this post was about your erections - but after reading it again, you started off with your financial situation. You're living paycheck to paycheck and trying to finance a wedding. I'm voting for anxiety. It doesn't matter how comfortable you are with your SO, money problems get guys right where they live. Either figure out how to live on less, or adjust your financial expectations, and your libido should come roaring back.
posted by The Light Fantastic at 11:55 PM on December 11, 2009 [7 favorites]
posted by The Light Fantastic at 11:55 PM on December 11, 2009 [7 favorites]
I find it a little alarming that you cite wedding costs as one of the reasons you can't afford to seek medical attention. I hope you realize that your health is a much, much higher priority than paying for any component of your wedding, especially when you haven't been to the doctor in years.
Even if it does turn out that you're perfectly healthy, this seems like an issue where you should err on the side of caution, even if it means cutting some people from the guest list, or forgoing the professional photographer.
posted by arianell at 12:50 AM on December 12, 2009 [1 favorite]
Even if it does turn out that you're perfectly healthy, this seems like an issue where you should err on the side of caution, even if it means cutting some people from the guest list, or forgoing the professional photographer.
posted by arianell at 12:50 AM on December 12, 2009 [1 favorite]
"It does not appear to be psychological"
Well, these things are usually psychological (per my psychology professors). You can do this test at home, and if the ring isn't broken then you'll know the cause is likely not psychological and that you should see a doctor. If the ring is broken, then you'll know to see a therapist.
posted by autoclavicle at 5:01 AM on December 12, 2009 [3 favorites]
Well, these things are usually psychological (per my psychology professors). You can do this test at home, and if the ring isn't broken then you'll know the cause is likely not psychological and that you should see a doctor. If the ring is broken, then you'll know to see a therapist.
posted by autoclavicle at 5:01 AM on December 12, 2009 [3 favorites]
verapamil: "Another question - do you use any illegal drugs? MDMA (the active ingredient in ecstasy) has been known to cause this side effect."
MDMA and other related uppers do not cause this problem in the long-term, only while you're under the effect of the drug.
OP: you definitely need to see a doctor but have you tried just ordering pharmaceutical aids from online overseas pharmacies? While this is of dubious legality, it's easy and affordable.
posted by turkeyphant at 5:17 AM on December 12, 2009
MDMA and other related uppers do not cause this problem in the long-term, only while you're under the effect of the drug.
OP: you definitely need to see a doctor but have you tried just ordering pharmaceutical aids from online overseas pharmacies? While this is of dubious legality, it's easy and affordable.
posted by turkeyphant at 5:17 AM on December 12, 2009
I think you can consider the cost of going to a doctor as a "wedding cost." I mean, you want to have great wedding-night sex, right?
posted by PhoBWanKenobi at 7:54 AM on December 12, 2009 [1 favorite]
posted by PhoBWanKenobi at 7:54 AM on December 12, 2009 [1 favorite]
Beg, borrow, or steal freecycle new furniture and see a doctor.
posted by Mitheral at 8:30 AM on December 12, 2009 [1 favorite]
posted by Mitheral at 8:30 AM on December 12, 2009 [1 favorite]
Start making a point of checking your blood pressure regularly - those side down, stick your arm in the hole and press a button things at the pharmacy are better than nothing and free.
Getting a real physical is a good idea though.
posted by Kid Charlemagne at 12:16 PM on December 12, 2009
Getting a real physical is a good idea though.
posted by Kid Charlemagne at 12:16 PM on December 12, 2009
This thread is closed to new comments.
Look at it this way; if someone came up to you and said "I am going to cut off your dick unless you give me $120" you'd probably be looking under the couch cushions for pennies if need be. I think there are very few things you could spend money on more important than your penis.
posted by bkeene12 at 8:57 PM on December 11, 2009 [4 favorites]