Ok, we seem to like each other...now what?
December 9, 2009 1:37 PM Subscribe
I met a girl the other night. Problem is, my girlfriend was there, too. Hopefully less scummy than it sounds.
posted by anonymous to Human Relations (44 answers total) 1 user marked this as a favorite
My girlfriend and I were invited to a party by a friend of a friend, who was the only person we knew there going in. The girl who invited us has a roommate, to whom I was instantly attracted to, both physically and for her personality. No big deal, but as the night wore on, it became clear that she was into me as well.
Everybody got nicely drunk, and this girl began flirting with me. Lots of touching, upon finding out that my girlfriend and I weren't married leaning in close and saying, "so you're saying I have a chance," and draping herself over me in group pictures to the point that a stranger looking at them would never guess that she wasn't my girfriend and the girl standing next to me was. She kept drinking and eventually headed to bed. A few of us stayed up way too late and then left with promises of doing it again soon. Everybody at the party seems to have loved my girlfriend, and I don't blame them, as she really shines in social situations like that.
I sent the flirting girl a positive/neutral Facebook message a couple of days later saying I had a good time, and she sent back a positive/neutral message saying we'd have to do it again soon. I am at a loss as to how to proceed, or if I should even try. Obviously the alcohol was an influence on her behavior, re:lowered inhibitions, but I wouldn't think a girl would be that overt in her behavior (even when drunk) unless she was very interested.
So much for the situational stuff, now for the relationship background. My girlfriend was aware of the flirting and its extent, but she is not at all the jealous type and thought it harmless. We have dated for a few years with a break of several months a couple of years ago. We both dated in those months, and after unhappy breakups for both of us fell back into our relationship. We generally have a good time together, but we have different goals and conflict styles, and we have discussed and agreed on many occasions that our relationship must and will end at some point, but as for the most part things are ok and we still care about each other deeply (though the fire is more or less gone), neither of us has had the balls to pull the trigger. Lately (prior to the party in question) I have been thinking more about breaking up.
Is there any tactful way to pursue this other girl? Have you ever been in or heard of a similar situation that turned out well? Obviously, doing anything to pursue the other girl involves putting an end to my current relationship. Thanks for your time. My AskMe throwaway email address is firstname.lastname@example.org. Thanks for your time.