How do I tell my husband about my secret savings account?
December 8, 2009 9:37 AM Subscribe
Before we were married, I set aside money because I thought I might have to leave him. He changed and I stayed. Now we have an emergency and we need to use the money. How do I tell him where it came from?
posted by anonymous to Human Relations (29 answers total) 3 users marked this as a favorite
Before we were married, he was sometimes emotionally abusive and I was afraid he'd become physically abusive, so I set money aside in case I had to suddenly leave. It was never a huge amount. He went to therapy, got on medication, and we went to couples counseling. He is no longer abusive and I married him. I love him absolutely and am committed to the relationship and this money is not a safety hatch.
He knew about the account before the wedding, because I used it to save for the honeymoon and deposit gifts for the wedding. He has obviously forgotten about it and I have not said anything because I was waiting for a real emergency (he is not very responsible with money and I did not want him to spend it on things we do not need). I have been unemployed for months and he is barely employed. We are scraping by for now but we are going to have to get some cash fast. I only have about one months rent in the account.
We have been seriously stressing about money lately, so he will be furious if I'm like "oh by the way I have this amount saved up that I didn't tell you about." I am not afraid he will be abusive, just angry. I am afraid he won't trust me. I was honestly not trying to keep this money for my own purposes, I was saving it for a dire emergency, and this is it. Now I feel like I've waited too long to say something without him getting upset.