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I'm _____, I need to poop NOW
December 4, 2009 6:05 PM   Subscribe

Is there a legitimate, non-slang word for the need to go to the bathroom? By that I mean a singular adjective, i.e. "nauseous," but for, well, pooping. Attempts to Google yield only annoying links to Urban Dictionary, etc.
posted by XQUZYPHYR to Writing & Language (34 answers total) 2 users marked this as a favorite
 
Feculent?
posted by Joseph Gurl at 6:11 PM on December 4, 2009 [6 favorites]


I can't think of a single, non-slang word other than cramping which isn't specifically about the need to poop. "I need to move my bowels" is the only non-slang sentence I can think of to describe the event.
posted by Secret Life of Gravy at 6:22 PM on December 4, 2009


Gee, for someone who is really into toilet humor, you've got me stumped for the moment. I like the phrase "I'm peaking" for referring to the need to go right now, but that's not an adjective.
posted by tastycracker at 6:31 PM on December 4, 2009


Defecatory?
posted by Lutoslawski at 6:32 PM on December 4, 2009


as in, 'Lutoslawski is looking rather defecatory" or perhaps, "Lutoslawski is looking rather defecacious."
posted by Lutoslawski at 6:32 PM on December 4, 2009


I keep finding "urge to defacate", no single word.
posted by bebrave! at 6:35 PM on December 4, 2009


I know I remember reading a thread about this exact topic but I can't find it.. I know this doesn't seem helpful, but I'm just saying it's worth it to look.
posted by amethysts at 6:36 PM on December 4, 2009


I can't get it down to one word, but the verb "to void" can come in handy in this sort of situation. When a person must go, he or she "needs to void."
posted by sueinnyc at 6:41 PM on December 4, 2009


The technical term for needing to poop NOW is "fecal urgency" but I don't know how to distill that into one word.
posted by amyms at 6:45 PM on December 4, 2009


i've always thought of it as a Gastrocolic reflex. Verbing that up is a bit of a challenge... maybe reflexing gastrocolically?
posted by Cold Lurkey at 6:51 PM on December 4, 2009


Abutting.
posted by perspicio at 6:57 PM on December 4, 2009 [2 favorites]


The reason there isn't a non-slang word is because in normal, polite society this information is unnecessary. The only time you would need to convey this information is a) to a family member or very close friend, in which case slang can be used or b) for medical reasons in which case you would use "have a b.m."

How about....colonous: heavy feeling in the colon requiring relief
posted by Secret Life of Gravy at 7:05 PM on December 4, 2009


Crowning?

That's still kind of slang though, so not really what you're looking for.
posted by Rhomboid at 7:13 PM on December 4, 2009 [1 favorite]


Replete.
posted by jtron at 7:15 PM on December 4, 2009


Well, it's not one word, but I've heard vets say "needing to eliminate"
posted by Ashley801 at 7:20 PM on December 4, 2009


explosive?
posted by HuronBob at 7:23 PM on December 4, 2009


Tenesmus is sometimes referred to as 'rectal urgency'.
posted by Hardcore Poser at 7:32 PM on December 4, 2009


Here's the link I really wanted for Tenesmus.
posted by Hardcore Poser at 7:34 PM on December 4, 2009


Related to "crowning", of course, is "turtling".

I suppose you could say you're gravid, but you might get some strange looks.
posted by mendel at 8:43 PM on December 4, 2009


Poking (cotton/fabric are implicit).
posted by Ufez Jones at 9:04 PM on December 4, 2009


Seconding bebrave, although it appears one medical paper referred to it as "bowel sensations" on a public survey.
posted by MikeHarris at 9:21 PM on December 4, 2009


Touching cotton?

I'm sorry.
posted by sugarfish at 9:31 PM on December 4, 2009 [1 favorite]


Actually, here is a more accurate response than my previous response: it's caused by the gastrocolic reflex, and the standard medical term for it appears to be simply the "defecation urge."
posted by MikeHarris at 9:57 PM on December 4, 2009


I'm busting, I need to poop NOW
posted by flabdablet at 11:40 PM on December 4, 2009


Impending intestinal requirement?

Though I suppose that's three words.
posted by the luke parker fiasco at 12:09 AM on December 5, 2009


peristaltic?
posted by beige at 4:34 AM on December 5, 2009


I went to bed thinking that Tenesmus was not quite right and woke up to see it was marked as Best Answer. Tenesmus means straining-- especially painful straining-- while either defecating or urinating, so it doesn't fit the "I need to poop NOW" because one is already in the act of pooping. It is not the urge to do it, you are in the act of doing it and it is painful.
posted by Secret Life of Gravy at 6:06 AM on December 5, 2009


[A bunch of comments removed. I know poop = rofl, but the question is about actual vocab, not "please make up something funny".]
posted by cortex at 7:28 AM on December 5, 2009


prairie-dogging
posted by wackybrit at 8:06 AM on December 5, 2009


Tenesmus is sometimes referred to as 'rectal urgency'.

Maybe, but neither definition in this thread is actually about needing to shit; rather, they're both about having a hard time in the process of doing so. Not to be a dick, but the word is feculent:

Full of foul or impure matter; fecal.

And yes. I feel very bad about myself for feeling so strongly about this. (but it's a satisfying feeling...a "release," if you will...)
posted by Joseph Gurl at 8:32 AM on December 5, 2009


SLOG- I marked it because a deep link on the former yeilded a definition as "Bowel or fecal urgency is a sudden, irresistible need to have a bowel movement. ... Tenesmus (Greek tens = strain) is a repeating painful urge to defecate without excreting any stool." Feculent is definitely the closest I can see here to an adjective, though.

And yeah, thanks cortex, silly as the question might have sounded funny terms people made up are exactly what I was NOT looking for here.
posted by XQUZYPHYR at 1:04 PM on December 5, 2009


Adding, also the link to Tenesmus was also a link to "fecal urgency" which appears to be the closest to the honest medical definition of what I was asking.
posted by XQUZYPHYR at 1:05 PM on December 5, 2009


Ahhhh, I was so close; if only I had said "bowel urgency" rather than "a need to move my bowels"

Fun fact: my husband refuses to read this thread because he is slightly poo-phobic.
posted by Secret Life of Gravy at 1:25 PM on December 5, 2009


Call to stool, according to a PT I know.
posted by Joe in Australia at 9:54 PM on December 5, 2009


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