Jesus wants you to have good sex.
November 30, 2009 1:28 AM Subscribe
I'm looking for some Christ-centered sex-positive how-to books. For a friend. No, really.
I have a very Christian friend who will be getting married soon. I'd like to give her some sex-positive material for her wedding shower, but I'd also like to be respectful of her beliefs.
Are there any good Christian sex-positive books out there? The Guide to Getting It On is definitely on my shopping list, but I'm a little worried it'll be too much of a muchness for her and just get chucked in the back of the closet. Any recommendations?
I'm in Seattle and can make a trip out to Babeland before the shower. We also have a variety of large independent and not-so-independent bookstores out here. U-District, Cap. Hill, or downtown are all accessible, but I probably don't have time to order online.
I have a very Christian friend who will be getting married soon. I'd like to give her some sex-positive material for her wedding shower, but I'd also like to be respectful of her beliefs.
Are there any good Christian sex-positive books out there? The Guide to Getting It On is definitely on my shopping list, but I'm a little worried it'll be too much of a muchness for her and just get chucked in the back of the closet. Any recommendations?
I'm in Seattle and can make a trip out to Babeland before the shower. We also have a variety of large independent and not-so-independent bookstores out here. U-District, Cap. Hill, or downtown are all accessible, but I probably don't have time to order online.
Best answer: The classic in this genre is Intended for Pleasure: Sex Technique and Sexual Fulfillment in Christian Marriage. It's biggest competitor (which may have overtaken it in popularity now) is Sheet Music: Uncovering the Secrets of Sexual Intimacy in Marriage. Sheet Music is probably the racier and more creative of the two--closer to what you want, I think.
posted by Pater Aletheias at 4:03 AM on November 30, 2009
posted by Pater Aletheias at 4:03 AM on November 30, 2009
The Act of Marriage (by Tim LaHaye, really!) is an oldie but goodie. I've not read some of the other books listed here but I can highly recommend this one. (Assuming it's still in print, of course....)
posted by St. Alia of the Bunnies at 4:31 AM on November 30, 2009
posted by St. Alia of the Bunnies at 4:31 AM on November 30, 2009
(Check out the Christian bookstores. They WILL have a booksection for this stuff.)
posted by St. Alia of the Bunnies at 4:32 AM on November 30, 2009
posted by St. Alia of the Bunnies at 4:32 AM on November 30, 2009
Consider "Sex God: Exploring the Endless Connections between Sexuality and Spirituality" by Rob Bell.
posted by DWRoelands at 6:23 AM on November 30, 2009
posted by DWRoelands at 6:23 AM on November 30, 2009
This website, posted on the blue last year, is something you also might want to point your friend towards and you ought to look through it for book recommendations.
posted by pumpkin11 at 6:35 AM on November 30, 2009
posted by pumpkin11 at 6:35 AM on November 30, 2009
Could you be a little bit more specific about your friend's denomination? These suggestions are all good ones if your friend is of the evangelical (and possibly mainline) ilk, but I think a lot of Catholics might benefit better from a copy of JPII's Theology of the Body, for example.
St Alia is right that your Christian bookstores will have a section which you can look around in. I wouldn't expect the specifics in them to be more detailed than your average Cosmo, though.
posted by l33tpolicywonk at 7:25 AM on November 30, 2009
St Alia is right that your Christian bookstores will have a section which you can look around in. I wouldn't expect the specifics in them to be more detailed than your average Cosmo, though.
posted by l33tpolicywonk at 7:25 AM on November 30, 2009
Maybe And They Were Not Ashamed: Strengthening Marriage Through Sexual Fulfillment.
posted by Sassyfras at 7:47 AM on November 30, 2009
posted by Sassyfras at 7:47 AM on November 30, 2009
Agree with the above suggestion of going to a Christian bookstore. I heard from a friend (no, really) that at the large (and conservative!) one here all the salesladies have good advice and are really happy to help (the key words to good service being 'I have a friend who is getting married').
posted by variella at 8:32 AM on November 30, 2009
posted by variella at 8:32 AM on November 30, 2009
Response by poster: Thanks for the suggestions so far. My friend is not a Catholic - she goes to Mars Hill Church, which is some kind of evangelical church (I confess insufficient familiarity with evangelicals to pin down exactly what).
Relatedly, does anyone have suggestions for a Christian bookstore in Seattle that I could visit? I'm kind of out of my depth here....
posted by fuzzbean at 8:57 AM on November 30, 2009
Relatedly, does anyone have suggestions for a Christian bookstore in Seattle that I could visit? I'm kind of out of my depth here....
posted by fuzzbean at 8:57 AM on November 30, 2009
We were given "The Act of Marriage" as a wedding gift. We read some passages, laughed and laughed, and then used it to prop up our window air conditioner. That said, we're not particularly religious. Your friend's taste may vary, depending on how she feels about ideas like "oral sex will warp your mind and ruin your marriage," etc.
posted by doift at 9:30 AM on November 30, 2009
posted by doift at 9:30 AM on November 30, 2009
Response by poster: Oh dear. No, I don't know how *she* feels about oral sex (that is not a conversation I think she's capable of having) but *I* am definitely pro, so books that are also pro are vital.
posted by fuzzbean at 11:18 AM on November 30, 2009
posted by fuzzbean at 11:18 AM on November 30, 2009
Not sure if it quite fits in with the 'how-to' aspect, but McMinn's Sexuality and Holy Longing is an excellent pro-sex book on holistic sexuality from an Evangelical perspective.
posted by shakespeherian at 12:15 PM on November 30, 2009
posted by shakespeherian at 12:15 PM on November 30, 2009
I can't link to it, because I'm at work and it's blocked -- but there's a web site called "Christian Nymphos" which has exact tone you're looking for (definitively Christian, but very sex-positive as well). I think they have a section on reference books they recommend; and if they recommend it, it's probably of a similar tone.
posted by EmpressCallipygos at 12:31 PM on November 30, 2009
posted by EmpressCallipygos at 12:31 PM on November 30, 2009
Best answer: Sheet Music is definitely pro-oral. There's a chapter devoted to just that topic.
I don't know anything about Seattle, but I see online that they have a Lifeway Christian Store. Chances are it'll carry several of the ones mentioned here.
If she's at Mars Hill, chances are most of the books mentioned here would be okay with her, except for the Catholic one. Mars Hill folks aren't going to be very appreciative of the Catholic tradition, as a general rule.
posted by Pater Aletheias at 12:38 PM on November 30, 2009
I don't know anything about Seattle, but I see online that they have a Lifeway Christian Store. Chances are it'll carry several of the ones mentioned here.
If she's at Mars Hill, chances are most of the books mentioned here would be okay with her, except for the Catholic one. Mars Hill folks aren't going to be very appreciative of the Catholic tradition, as a general rule.
posted by Pater Aletheias at 12:38 PM on November 30, 2009
Lou Paget's books are NOT specifically from a specifically Christian point-of-view and may be a little more explicit than you had in mind, but are "classy" in writing style even when very straightforward about technique, and regard good sex as bonding intimacy for a couple. Flip through and see how you feel about the tone.
posted by desuetude at 7:13 PM on November 30, 2009
posted by desuetude at 7:13 PM on November 30, 2009
Relatedly, does anyone have suggestions for a Christian bookstore in Seattle that I could visit?
I think the only one left in the city limits is the Harvest Logos store in Greenwood, but their website isn't functioning and I haven't driven by there in a few months. If there's one Christian bookstore in this town where they really could help you, it'd be there.
Last time I was in a Lifeway I was less than impressed. No one would help me, 60% of the store was Jesus junk, and the books that were there were mostly about promoting the new Southern Baptist translation of the Bible. I guess it might work in a pinch, but their selection really is poor.
Intended For Pleasure is what all the women read when I was in college. Dunno what's replaced it, but that's probably a good place to start. My other suggestion would be Sex for Christians: The Limits and Liberties of Sexual Living, but I think it may be too liberal for the Mars Hill crowd.
posted by dw at 7:15 PM on November 30, 2009
I think the only one left in the city limits is the Harvest Logos store in Greenwood, but their website isn't functioning and I haven't driven by there in a few months. If there's one Christian bookstore in this town where they really could help you, it'd be there.
Last time I was in a Lifeway I was less than impressed. No one would help me, 60% of the store was Jesus junk, and the books that were there were mostly about promoting the new Southern Baptist translation of the Bible. I guess it might work in a pinch, but their selection really is poor.
Intended For Pleasure is what all the women read when I was in college. Dunno what's replaced it, but that's probably a good place to start. My other suggestion would be Sex for Christians: The Limits and Liberties of Sexual Living, but I think it may be too liberal for the Mars Hill crowd.
posted by dw at 7:15 PM on November 30, 2009
Turns out I may be misremembering The Act of Marriage- my husband says he doesn't think it was so anti-oral. I still think I'm remembering right, and that wasn't the only thing in the book I disagreed with. However, it is a very popular book, so you may want to flip through it if you come across it in a bookstore. I wouldn't want you to dismiss it outright based on my possibly faulty memory.
posted by doift at 6:26 PM on December 1, 2009
posted by doift at 6:26 PM on December 1, 2009
"oral sex will warp your mind and ruin your marriage," etc.
I certainly don't remember that from the Act of Marriage. Believe me, I'd have noticed!
posted by St. Alia of the Bunnies at 7:24 PM on December 1, 2009
I certainly don't remember that from the Act of Marriage. Believe me, I'd have noticed!
posted by St. Alia of the Bunnies at 7:24 PM on December 1, 2009
IF that's the Mars Hill church that I think it is....you need to google Mark Driscoll. He has quite the reputation for teaching on the topic of sex. Your friend might not need any books!
posted by St. Alia of the Bunnies at 7:28 PM on December 1, 2009
posted by St. Alia of the Bunnies at 7:28 PM on December 1, 2009
Response by poster: Update: We (some friends and I went in on this together) wound up getting her Sheet Music, A Celebration of Sex, The Guide to Getting it On, and Porn for Women. Celebration and Sheet Music were *very* well received, and the older church ladies there basically burst out with "THAT'S A REALLY GOOD BOOK." Apparently they're both on the Mars Hill recommended reading list. (The Guide, not surprisingly, is not - but we told her to think of it as a reference book.)
Oh, and Porn for Women got passed around to universal giggles. So that went well.
Thanks to everyone for your help!
posted by fuzzbean at 10:00 PM on December 4, 2009
Oh, and Porn for Women got passed around to universal giggles. So that went well.
Thanks to everyone for your help!
posted by fuzzbean at 10:00 PM on December 4, 2009
This thread is closed to new comments.
The same site also has some other books listed such as A Celebration of Sex: A Guide to Enjoying God's Gift of Sexual Intimacy so you may find a number of things suitable at that site.
posted by Kerasia at 2:01 AM on November 30, 2009