Cat's flipping out & I'm 1000 miles away.

November 10, 2009 7:52 AM

I'm on vacation, and my cat/house-sitter is reporting that one of my cats is flipping out. I won't be home for another four days. How can I help them remotely?

My two-year-old cat, Phoebe, doesn't like anyone except me, my husband and our other cat. She's sweet and docile and playful with us, but the moment another person's in the house, she turns into a hellion who bites, swats and growls. I knew this week would be difficult for her, but I assumed she'd adjust after a few days.

Not the case. For the past four days, she's camped up in our bedroom without moving and won't come down for food, which is VERY unusual, even if people she doesn't know are around. Our cat-sitter brings the food to her, and she eats some of it, though not all. This morning, she pooped on our bed, and is now hiding somewhere in the house where the cat-sitter can't find her.

I've suggested rattling the food container, bringing the litter box up to the bedroom, gently petting her, etc., but now I'm at a loss. Do you have suggestions how to make this easier on our cat (and our cat-sitter)?

Phoebe likes food, glitter balls, our other cat (who, unfortunately, doesn't like her) and being groomed behind her ears. If those details are relevant somehow. She's a very healthy kitty.

posted by Zosia Blue to pets & animals (17 comments total)

Don't worry about it. As long as she's safe, is eating, going to her litter box (assuming she is), this too shall pass. See if you can't arrange some speaker phone time alone with her. Let the sitter bring the phone into the room as gently as possible and at her cue start speaking to the cat (not kidding). Tell her you will be home soon and that she should just relax. Do this for a few minutes - not a big production. If the cat is relatively ok in the room, maybe turn on a soft radio. Have the sitter put out a sweater or something that you've worn recently as well so that your scent will chill her out as well. This is a static issue - it's not something that will resolve itself under these conditions. Make the best of what is - see if you can't do one or all of these suggestions. Oh - and if you have any catnip in the house - get the sitter to sprinkle that in your cat's vicinity as well. Gentle is the key word. No sudden moves. No loud voices. Just chill - and soon enough - in 4 days you guys can sort things out in person - intact.
posted by watercarrier at 7:58 AM on November 10 [1 favorite has favorites]

If she's reacting this way, I'd actually suggest that the sitter not try petting her. Her presence is probably startling her, and she'll likely act out less if pressed. Have the pet sitter leave the food out where Phoebe can find it--she'll surely come crawling out to eat when left alone.
posted by PhoBWanKenobi at 8:09 AM on November 10 [1 favorite has favorites]

Get the sitter to buy and spray some Feliway stat.
posted by Jairus at 8:14 AM on November 10

I'd tell the petsitter to leave her alone completely, and I agree with the idea of moving the food, water, and litter into your bedroom. Let her have her own little space by herself until you get home.
posted by something something at 8:21 AM on November 10 [3 favorites has favorites]

You can also buy plug in Feliway - but remember not to stress yourself out.

No cat starved when there was available food. They just carry out major sulks. Tell your sitter to move litter, food and water up there, and leave her be.

I am a cat owner and panic when I leave them, so I'm not saying this lightly, but the cat will be okay - especially as you chose such a conscientious sitter.
posted by Augenblick at 8:22 AM on November 10 [1 favorite has favorites]

Yep, the sitter just needs to completely ignore Phoebe. You know how cats always seem to be attracted to the person who hates/is allergic to cats? It's because they're the least threatening, because they don't want any attention from the cat.
Put the food/water/litter out in the bedroom where the cat can hide, and then just pretend she doesn't even exist. Don't approach her, just let her be. Don't stick your head under the bed looking for her, etc etc. Just let her be. If/when the cat does come out -- no sudden movements, nothing more than calm, soothing baby talk. Don't go running over to her and try to pick her up. In fact, just keep ignoring her. The less threatening the sitter appears, the less freaked the cat will be.

It's only four days. No cat will starve if there's food available. She'll be fine; it's not going to scar her for life or anything. However, she may be pissed at you when you get back, but even that will subside after a couple days.
posted by cgg at 8:38 AM on November 10

Your cat will be fine, she's just in a pissy mood because you're gone and some stranger is all up in her business.

Did you leave any dirty laundry anywhere? If there's some clothing/bedding that you've used which isn't out in the open, the house sitter can dump it out on your bed for the cat to curl up in. We always leave dirty sheets and clothes out for the cats to sleep on when we go off, they love it. That's undoubtedly why she's chosen that room to hole up in.

I do NOT recommend having the house sitter try to interact with the cat more - odds are that the behavior reported so far is a reaction to their presence; having them try to pet your cat would most likely result in more bed-pooping. My hunch is that the current bed-pooping is because the sitter was bringing food into your room, i..e her safe place, which made her feel threatened, ergo the pooping and hiding.

1. have the sitter leave food and water outside the door of your bedroom, but not go in.
2. try to have them minimize their time in of the house, or at least the territory they cover while they are there. Your cat wants to know that she has a safe place to chill while they're around.
3. She could try crumbling some dried catnip on some clean floors to make the house pleasant for them again.

She'll be fine. She'll probably poop on the bed again after you come back (I've had a similar feline), but once she's punished you for the desertion for a few days all will be well. Crumble some catnip around the place for a speedier recovery.
posted by Billegible at 9:19 AM on November 10

The cat will be "ok" as-is, but if you want to try to comfort the kitty you could ask the sitter to spread some extra food/water bowls around, pick up a couple of those cheap temporary litter pans and put them out, and spray some Feliway around (the plugins are meant per-room, so I doubt it'd be cost-effective to put them all over the house for only four days). If the cat finds you specifically comforting, maybe the sitter could grab something that still smells like you and put it down on the floor for kitty to smell/cuddle with (pillows). I'd resign myself to a likely mess or three to clean up when I get back, though.
posted by Pufferish at 9:26 AM on November 10

What something something said. My cats hate all humans except me. Although I had a cat sitter which said she loved to spend playtime with all of her client's cats, I said it wasn't necessary. My cats would prefer to be alone than with some strange human.

Your cat is probably shitting outside the box because of the stress brought on by the weird human in her house. Cats like routine and normal.

The cat will eat when the human isn't around. Hell, my cats don't like to eat when I'm present and we've lived together for 8 years.

Tell the sitter to only make sure there's food and water and a clean litter box available and leave the cat alone.
posted by birdherder at 9:28 AM on November 10

The cat is pooping on your bed to call you home. Poor kitty thinks you are lost, and is giving you a scent marker to guide you back. I'd follow the general advice of moving food, water and litter to the room where the cat is ensconced.
In addition, a couple of years back I sitted for a cat who would have nothing to do with me until the last two days of my visit, when she decided that she absolutely adored me. Cats are funny like that.
posted by Sara Anne at 10:01 AM on November 10

Thank you -- this is all great advice. I'm mostly worried that the cat-sitter can't find her...it's only been the morning & part of the afternoon she's been missing, and there's really no chance she ran outside, but that's the part that's upsetting. However, I know that cats hide and hide well (especially this one), so I'm hoping with food and water out, and the suggestions above, she'll eventually reveal herself.

Thanks again.
posted by Zosia Blue at 10:01 AM on November 10

My cat lived with my parents for a couple of months while I did some extended traveling one summer and my mother was constantly calling me in a panic because she couldn't find him. He was invariably wedged under the dresser or hiding in the far corner under the bed or someplace else she'd never think to look. I'm sure your kitty is okay!
posted by something something at 10:44 AM on November 10

When I can't find mine, they're up inside the box spring or inside the back of the washing machine.
posted by Lou Stuells at 11:38 AM on November 10

Cats hide VERY well. When my girlcat, who trusts me absolutely, is scared she can make herself poof completely away so that I can't even find her.
If your housesitter is hunting around for her it'll make her more nervous; as long as there's no possibility that a door or window were open, there's no worry, she'll emerge when she feels secure.
posted by Billegible at 12:42 PM on November 10

I've done cat-sitting for a week for cats that I barely even saw. One cat was just a pair of baleful eyes under the bed, and that was it.

Definitely bring the litterbox to the bedroom, and maybe pull the door to the room almost closed so it makes the cat feel even more like it's in a quiet, safe place.

Is the cat-sitter actually staying in your house? If so, yes -- advise her to just ignore the cat and not look for her. Phoebe will come out and eat when she's ready.
posted by vickyverky at 4:30 PM on November 10

Thanks, guys. As an FYI, the bedroom she's been hiding in is a loft-style top floor, so there isn't a door, but the same concepts apply. No sign of her yet, but the cat-sitter (who IS staying in the house) has food/water/litter boxes on all floors, and has gone out for the evening, so hopefully Phoebe pokes her head out soon. The only barrier with the food is that it's difficult to keep the other cat from mowing down on it and since Phoebe's probably hiding in either the upstairs or basement, I can't close the doors. But I advised the sitter to fill the bowls to the brim and hope for the best. (Best case scenario, I come home to two very fat cats.)
posted by Zosia Blue at 4:55 PM on November 10

Just an update -- Phoebe has been found! My best friend dropped by (I like to call her the Cat Whisperer), and found the kitty curled up in a doorless cupboard in the basement. So hoorah! Thanks again for all of the suggestions. Very tough to pick a Best Answer as they're all terrific and comforting.
posted by Zosia Blue at 1:37 PM on November 11 [1 favorite has favorites]