What is best for my 9 year old dog? Should I bring him with me when I transfer colleges?

November 8, 2009 1:37 PM

What is best for my 9 year old dog? Should I bring him with me when I transfer colleges?

I was accepted to a college across the country, and I am planning to go.

All of the *logistics* of bringing him are settled (I will have adequate housing for us, I'll be able to support both of us, I'll have time for him, I've visited the area several times before, etc.)

The only focus of this question is whether being taken away from the rest of my family and his familiar environment would be too hard on him, or unfair to him.

Background info.

He's officially the family dog, but I've always liked and wanted him the most. My other family members think he's okay but they aren't that into him. They mainly just ignore him.

But, he LOVES everyone in the family, especially my brother, and he's always trying to get their attention while they usually (70% of the time) ignore him.

When it comes to his care, my mom and I each feed him and walk him about half the time. My brother walks him occasionally. I play with him and entertain him the most; my brother does that occasionally, too.

Even though he is in his later years, he's still very active and has a ton of energy.

A couple months ago, he had health problems which could have become dire if he hadn't received an unpleasant-and-difficult-to-administer treatment. I was the only one willing to administer this treatment, and I'm worried if I left him here, he just wouldn't get it if it happened again.

I'm also worried if I left him here, he'd just spend his days sitting around the house being bored and mostly ignored by everyone, except for an occasional short daily walk or two.

On the other hand, if I took him, I'm really worried that he would miss my family and wonder where they were and why he was taken away. I'm also worried he would be stressed out to be away from his familiar surroundings that he's seen his whole life, like the house, the neighborhood, etc. I'm worried it wouldn't be fair to do to him at his age.

What should I do?

posted by anonymous to pets & animals (21 comments total)

Take the dog. He'll adjust. It's better to have one dedicated caregiver, than three disinterested owners.
posted by kimdog at 1:42 PM on November 8 [9 favorites]

My family dog looooves my brother and me, and neither of us live at home anymore. He doesn't seem to miss us while we're away, although he does go a little insane with excitement when we visit.

It sounds as if you and the dog will both be happier if he comes with you.
posted by Meg_Murry at 1:53 PM on November 8

Take him with you. Sounds like you're closest to being his master, everyone else is just OHHHSOMEONEELSETOPLAYWITHYAYAYAYAYA! He'll make more friends, but it'd be hard for him to accept a new "master."
posted by InsanePenguin at 2:02 PM on November 8

A couple months ago, he had health problems which could have become dire if he hadn't received an unpleasant-and-difficult-to-administer treatment. I was the only one willing to administer this treatment...

There's your answer. Take him with you in good conscience.
posted by Inspector.Gadget at 2:07 PM on November 8 [1 favorite]

Definitely take him with you! Sounds like you'll both be happier - and it's great to have a 24 hour playmate to take a break with when you are studying.
posted by gomichild at 2:11 PM on November 8

Take him. Also... anonymous, are you afraid that your dog reads AskMe?
posted by horsemuth at 2:14 PM on November 8 [6 favorites]

Take him! If possible, I'll bet he'll love going to classes!
posted by jgirl at 2:38 PM on November 8

Take him. He will adjust to his new environment. One dedicated caregiver, absolutely.
posted by misozaki at 2:48 PM on November 8

Take him with you! It will be good for you AND the dog to have a best friend through all the changes!
posted by fluffy battle kitten at 2:48 PM on November 8

Take him. He'll have you, you'll have him, and both of you will make new friends that'll be his new extended family. Most dogs are better at making family than humans.
posted by NorthCoastCafe at 3:15 PM on November 8

Definitely take him. You're his person, and he needs you. He'll adjust to the change in no time.
posted by HotToddy at 3:47 PM on November 8

Take him. I was in a similar situation with my cat a few years ago when I went to graduate school--my mother loved him in theory, but refused to pay for necessary vet treatments, et cetera. He's adjusted fine.
posted by PhoBWanKenobi at 3:50 PM on November 8

take him... you'll both be happier....(and I suspect your family will be happier as well).
posted by HuronBob at 3:52 PM on November 8

Adding to the chorus of take him. He needs someone who has him as a priority, and that's you.
posted by jeather at 3:55 PM on November 8

Take him, for both of you.
posted by TooFewShoes at 4:46 PM on November 8

What's wrong with you people? We can't make this decision without pictures.
posted by shiny blue object at 6:36 PM on November 8 [2 favorites]

Take the dog! He won't even know to miss the others.
posted by QueerAngel28 at 8:42 PM on November 8

Take him to school with you. Dogs are more attached to their people than their environment. You're the person who he's closest to. He'll adapt to the change in environment pretty quickly and will be happier with you at school than he would be at home & ignored.
posted by rhiannon at 8:49 PM on November 8

Please please please take him with you. Under eerily similar circumstances, I left my dog with my mother when I moved away.

When I came home almost a year later, I found that without me to care for him and act on his behalf, he had essentially been banished to the (unlit, unheated, alone, in winter) garage because he was "too much trouble." Basically, he was being stored in there like a box of old clothes or something.

I took him with me when I left, and always felt terrible about having left without him in the first place. Even now, 20 years later, I feel a stab of regret just thinking about it.
posted by ErikaB at 10:12 PM on November 8

I'll add to the chorus of "take him!"

Though he is (by your description) nowhere near being gone, he is in his "autumn years". My first dog died last year of heart failure at 12 years old. I was deep in the throes of my degree and had little time for him. Thankfully, my husband and mum took great care of him. Still, I regret the time he and I couldn't spend together. Like ErikaB, it still hurts to this day.

I'm sure you've got the logistics figured out and have researched how to make this as easy as possible for him. Having worked with shelter dogs, I know that they do get disoriented and anxious in the initial absence of their old pack unit. They're adaptable creatures, though, and will be right as rain once they know they're in a good place. From what you've written, I think he'll be in a marvelous place. :-)
posted by arishaun at 11:21 PM on November 8

Just to play devil's advocate here, I think you should take the dog with you. Seriously, unless there are time constraints you haven't outlined, you are obviously the person in this dog's life that should be there. Don't hesitate to guilt trip your family into supporting expenses either. Your dog may not be a one-person dog, but almost all dogs are "routine" dogs (as in, "I'd rather have regular walks than wait a week for one" or, "I'd rather have a nice person I know and trust jab me twice a day than worry that every person I meet will stick me.") UR (or U sound like) a gud person so take the dog.
posted by Mngo at 4:00 AM on November 9