1st time marijuana smoker

November 6, 2009 10:05 PM

1st time marijuana smoker! My partner will smoke weed for the first time this weekend - a friend gave us a joint. What can I do to make this enjoyable for him? Besides making sure there are munchies?

I started smoking weed, and stopped smoking weed, long enough ago that I don't remember what's necessary to make the first time an enjoyable experience besides the necessity of snack food and a comfortable space. Any tips for me and for him?

posted by goofyfoot to sports, hobbies, & recreation (63 comments total)

Sloooooowwwwww. Keep the smoking sloooooowwwww. I remember the first time I tried weed, and I didn't try it slow. I had to spend an hour in a quiet room convincing myself that throwing up isn't nice.

So put it out half-way through and see how it lies for 10 minutes.
posted by Dipsomaniac at 10:07 PM on November 6

A nice frosty beverage of some sort to enjoy during the act.
posted by contraption at 10:12 PM on November 6

If he's never smoked anything before, here's the trick: you inhale into the mouth, like drinking through a straw. Then, you inhale air through your mouth, drawing the smoke with it into your lungs.

If you try to smoke simply by breathing through the joint, you'll collapse in a horrible fit of coughing.

(Man I wish I had some ganj. It's been months...)
posted by Netzapper at 10:12 PM on November 6

Maybe not blow it up into something too big, quite a few people don't really get much out of it the first several times out.
posted by bluejayk at 10:12 PM on November 6 [10 favorites has favorites]

Radiohead, hot wings, and a good lager?
posted by RobotVoodooPower at 10:17 PM on November 6 [1 favorite has favorites]

Water for "dry mouth".

I've learned that when I feel dry mouth, it's just that I can't feel ANYTHING, there actually IS saliva in my mouth. It makes the discomfort less, and the high more enjoyable.

Be aware, as well, that there ARE people who are allergic! If the person is ok with sage, then they should be ok with sativas. If they are allergic to sage, I wouldn't give them smoke!

A nice mellow out movie that doesn't require much deep thought. Stupid funny, or movies he knows well, are great. Also, movies like "Koyanisqaatsi" or "Winged Migration", where the camera is just flying over pretty landscapes without a great deal of talking, are fun.

Cartoons are always good!

Dim the lights a bit, light some candles and make sure they're safe where he may not bump them or knock them down.

Perhaps some music, again, nothing deep or too new. He may want to dance, he may fall asleep! Let him know that whatever happens, happens, and you aren't going to hold it against him! As long as it's a safe comfy place, it should be a nice time.

If he's an artist, he may want to draw. He may want to clean the house! He might retch. He may get "lovey dovey" (Yay!) Just go with it, and watch him. He may not feel anything! I remember the first few times I smoke (granted waaaay back in the late 70's) I felt nothing! Nowadays stuff IS a bit stronger, so the odds of him feeling nothing are a bit lower!
posted by Jinx of the 2nd Law at 10:21 PM on November 6 [2 favorites has favorites]

Remember, first time nothing may happen. If something does, for the love of all that's sacred, have some nookie. Making out (etc) high is marvelous.
posted by smoke at 10:26 PM on November 6 [2 favorites has favorites]

Music! Load up a playlist w/ all of his favorites, with some new stuff peppered in, maybe. There is no overstating the vital importance of good MUSIC to this experience.
posted by EatTheWeak at 10:26 PM on November 6

Remember, first time nothing may happen.

This is rank bullshit, brought on by people not knowing how to smoke. The onlu people who ever tell me it didn't work for them also, on further interrogation, tell me that they had like two hits and coughed most of the time. Well, duh, if you were coughing it all out, then you weren't getting high.

Follow my advice from above, and it'll work out fine.

And remember to hold the smoke.
posted by Netzapper at 10:36 PM on November 6 [3 favorites has favorites]

- good munchies on hand
- relaxed environment (turn off all phones etc)
- cool music with an accent on the spacious (ie: room to move on a cerebral level; in my day, it was always either Pink Floyd, Yes or Side 2 of Led Zeppelin 3)
- no big expectations because as has been mentioned, there's every possibility that nothing will happen
- throw a blanket over the TV (forget it's even there)
posted by philip-random at 10:37 PM on November 6

Don't drink before the smoke because first-timers often get the pukes if there's alcohol in the system when the weed hits. I think it's a balance thing. A beer or whatever later is fine but maybe a nice bottled water instead? San Pellegrino or Fiji or some other environment-destroying beverage.
posted by anadem at 10:37 PM on November 6

Give him a pillow because that shit always makes me fall asleep. (That's me! Life of the party!)
posted by greta simone at 10:50 PM on November 6 [2 favorites has favorites]

This is rank bullshit, brought on by people not knowing how to smoke. The onlu people who ever tell me it didn't work for them also, on further interrogation, tell me that they had like two hits and coughed most of the time. Well, duh, if you were coughing it all out, then you weren't getting high.


Uhm, people who haven't smoked before often don't know how to smoke, so they sometimes don't do it very efficiently, and don't get much out of it. That's a possibility here, not "rank bullshit."
posted by bluejayk at 10:54 PM on November 6

This is all helpful - thank you!

I haven't smoked myself in so long that I forgot these pot principles.
posted by goofyfoot at 10:58 PM on November 6

Take a walk, even just passing under the shade of a tree can be interesting.
posted by furtive at 11:00 PM on November 6 [1 favorite has favorites]

Be naked. Skin (one's own and other people's) feels so cool...
posted by coppermoss at 11:23 PM on November 6

Oh, have so much fun!

And, you should also prepare some good music...for when you've achieved actual high status.
posted by hapax_legomenon at 11:23 PM on November 6

Oreos, juice & Visine. Get a bunch of food and play 'What's this taste', blindfolded. Then lay down on something soft in front of the speakers.
posted by Acacia at 11:43 PM on November 6 [1 favorite has favorites]

Have a nice big warm blanket around in case he turns out to be like me and just gets confused and nervous, with racing heart and subzero body temperatures for the next three hours...
posted by Earl the Polliwog at 11:51 PM on November 6

I would say, don't make a big deal out of it. It's too much pressure for someone to expect to 'feel' something their first time out. Just do it in safe, familiar surroundings.
posted by quadog at 12:42 AM on November 7 [2 favorites has favorites]

Here you go.
posted by oinopaponton at 1:02 AM on November 7 [4 favorites has favorites]

Agreeing with quadog. I felt like I expected so much during my first time, I was sorely disappointed that all I felt was really slow and tired. It was definitely a different experience, but I was underwhelmed. I kept thinking, "this is it?"

If something nice happens, that's cool.

If it doesn't, no biggie.

I hear it's much better the second or third time anyways. Am I wrong?
posted by thisperon at 1:46 AM on November 7

Be sure to watch this unbiased and highly scientific advisory movie before experimenting with the Devil's Weed!

Its first effect is sudden, violent, uncontrollable laughter; then come dangerous hallucinations - space expands - time slows down, almost stands still....fixed ideas come next, conjuring up monstrous extravagances - followed by emotional disturbances, the total inability to direct thoughts, the loss of all power to resist physical emotions... leading finally to acts of shocking violence... ending often in incurable insanity.

Just so you know. Personally, I got all of those effects when they turned off favorites.
posted by PontifexPrimus at 3:01 AM on November 7 [8 favorites has favorites]

chips ahoy cookies.

don't ask me how I know.
posted by HuronBob at 3:21 AM on November 7

Y'all are getting a little goofy here. . . Bollywood musical numbers? Reefer Madness? Chips Ahoy?
posted by goofyfoot at 3:54 AM on November 7

The best thing you can do is not get all up in their face about what they're feeling or trying to make everything perfect and special. Areyoufeelingitdoesitfeelgood?
Ohtrythisthingthatididincollegeonetimeandohmanitwassocool!

Being relaxed is the best thing you can do.
posted by milarepa at 4:21 AM on November 7 [3 favorites has favorites]

nthing that it might take a while (ie- not this time) for him to get high. Probably best to keep it just you and him. And I would recommend watching the Beatles Anthology.
posted by pintapicasso at 4:23 AM on November 7

You take me back to when I was . . . 12. The weed was crap back then, but it was all we knew.

It's all about being chill and relaxed. Some people become paranoid or anxious when they are high, first time or not, but the first time can be scary if you have that reaction. So go slow, definitely. And don't overdo it until you know where the line is between high and fucking wasted.


I would have killed a bear once upon a time for a girlfriend like you.
posted by fourcheesemac at 4:46 AM on November 7

Sloooooowwwwww. Keep the smoking sloooooowwwww. I remember the first time I tried weed, and I didn't try it slow. I had to spend an hour in a quiet room convincing myself that throwing up isn't nice.

This, times a bajillion. First time I got high, I smoked some and I was all "Hmmmm, I don't feel anything" so I smoked some more and was all "Maaaaaybe I feel something, I think" and so I smoked some more and was like "Hmmmm, no, I don't think I was really feeling anything before" and so I smoked some more and then the person I was with was all "Okay, let's give it a while and see what happens". And then nothing really happened for awhile, but then all of a sudden, as I was walking from the kitchen to a couch that was literally 10 feet away, I was unable to move. I wasn't all stiff or anything, I just could not remember how to move. The person I was with was all "Are you okay?" when I suddenly stopped walking, and it took me like 5 minutes to sloooooowwwwwwwwwwly explain to her, like Frankenstein would, that I was having extreme difficulty doing anything that involved moving. This involved looking at things, speaking, walking, eating, and breathing. She moved me to the couch, where I sat doing nothing until I told her that I felt like I was going to puke, so then I was moved to a bathroom, where I stayed hunched over a toilet until I feel asleep. Never did throw up, but I sure felt like I did, and I was unable to tickle the back of my throat to make it happen, I just had to sit there in misery.

So, yeah, it's all fine to listen to people who are all "Pippi Longstocking, Cherry Slurpees and sharp cheddar cheese are the holy trinity, snoogins", but be prepared for the real possibility that he may have a really bad first time and you may have to be his Florence Nightingale.
posted by 23skidoo at 4:59 AM on November 7 [2 favorites has favorites]

I, uh, hear sour and/or fruity candies--Mike & Ike, Sour Patch Kids, Starburst--are particularly interesting.
posted by uncleozzy at 5:20 AM on November 7

people who haven't smoked before don't know how it feels to be stoned, so for lack of comparable references, they don't notice "I'm stoned" the first time around.
Seconding taking it slow (You smoking pure weed spliffs? Have 2-3 puffs only, wait 10 minutes...) And seconding some chilled music. Or space rock (LOL). If want to go at more analytically, read "The Natural Mind"(Andrew Weil) or "Artificial Paradises"(Baudelaire)
posted by yoHighness at 5:29 AM on November 7 [1 favorite has favorites]

but then all of a sudden, as I was walking from the kitchen to a couch that was literally 10 feet away, I was unable to move. I wasn't all stiff or anything, I just could not remember how to move.

This was my first time. Except unfortunately I was with a couple of bonehead guys who did nothing but make fun of me...why I ever tried smoking again after that abomination of an experience is a mystery, but boy am I glad I did! Be aware that any type of ribbing at his expense, no matter how benign it may seem, can feel like a personal attack when high. Also be ready for the fact that he may only sit on the couch blankly staring at the tv for an hour or so...don't try to get him to respond to you, as being in that state for the first time is a total mindfuck...just let him be (if that's what he wants to do...some people get chatty, YMMV)!

And do you know the quality of the stuff? If it's good, tell him to take 1 or 2 hits max, then wait like 10 min...as expressed by those above, there's nothing worse than being TOO high, especially your first time at the rodeo.

Also? you might want to consider a different manner of smoking for his first time around...joints can be way harsh on the throat, causing the first time smoker to cough out the entire hit and not get high at all. Joints are also super wasteful. My suggestion would be a bong if you can get your hands on one (just be sure not to take too big of a hit), or a 1/2 to 1/4 gravity bong hit. Gravity bongs are easy to make! But for pete's sake, take the cap off the bottle before you let it sink back down into the water, otherwise risk blowing the weed out of the makeshift bowl, contrary to what the guy in the video says.

Nthing good music, good things to watch on the tube. the Planet Earth series is my ultimate favorite, because for some reason the glory of nature just seems so much cooler when you're baked. The best munchie foods are things with great mouthfeel. My munchies are more about how awesome things feel in my mouth (heh) than actually being hungry.

Most of all, let him do whatever the fuck he wants to do, except call his mother or boss.

that was a nice trip down memory lane, i miss pot :(
posted by Gonestarfishing at 6:02 AM on November 7 [1 favorite has favorites]

don't eat right away. give it some time, it'll kill the high.
posted by pyro979 at 6:04 AM on November 7

Why not try eating it?

It appears to be safer than smoking it. Warning though, the high lasts longer that way. Avoid operating automobiles and heavy machinery.
posted by Eleutherios at 6:05 AM on November 7

Watch some Chris Rock! or Dave Chapelle. Have you seen Chris Rocks Kill the Messenger? I saw it for the first time when I was stoned and I still haven't stopped laughing. Good comedy and pirate booty. The BEST!
posted by Rocket26 at 6:24 AM on November 7

I would say, don't make a big deal out of it.

I agree with this. Don't be the hovering "Are you feeling anything yet? How about now??" kind of person.
posted by hermitosis at 6:28 AM on November 7

Eating it is a terrible, terrible idea for the inexperienced. Do not. That's a good way to wind up in the ER having a horrible panic attack. That's the only way I've ever seen someone do enough pot to actually think they're dying. When you realize you've done too much, you're _still_ getting more stoned. And will continue to do so for another hour. And after that you'll have to ride it out for half the day.

Make it a nice safe environment and don't do any yourself until your partner has finished for ten minutes. If he freaks out, you'll be calm and level headed enough to reassure him he's not going to die and that the world will be normal again very soon.

He might need distraction. I'll leave the particulars of that up to you. ;)
posted by paanta at 6:36 AM on November 7 [2 favorites has favorites]

No accordion music. It's essential. Really.
posted by ouke at 6:57 AM on November 7 [1 favorite has favorites]

Hey, dudes . . . she said her friend gave her one joint. Eating is not an option. You need significantly more than a joint's worth of cannabis to generate a useful amount of fat emulsion for cooking with the stuff. But yeah, I agree, eating is for the experienced. You get much higher, for much longer, and (I, um, hear) the high is much more physical than euphoric, all other things being equal.

OP, don't overthink this plate of beans. Smoke a joint, get high, have fun.

Mmmmm. Beans.
posted by fourcheesemac at 7:16 AM on November 7

That's the only way I've ever seen someone do enough pot to actually think they're dying.

Um.... did you notice the part where the OP only has one joint? Which, sure, don't eat it, but only because it's such a small quantity that going through all the prep work of cookery wouldn't be worth the bother.

Whatever activities you engage in, goofyfoot, I'd suggest remembering to change up the environment now and then: if you've been playing in a dim room for a while, then go outside into bright sunlight, the world will look AWESOME. The temptation will be to settle into one place and one activity and just dig in deep and drowsy, but introducing some new experiences every now and then, even something as simple as moving to another room or changing the music on the stereo, will keep his eyes alive and his other senses awake.
posted by ook at 7:27 AM on November 7

Man, I type slow.
posted by ook at 7:31 AM on November 7 [1 favorite has favorites]

As with anything, one must use common sense. I mean, don't down 12 brownies at one time, especially if you are an inexperienced user.

I was kind of speaking about future references, if/when they decide to use marijuana again. Yeah, you can't do all that much with one joint.
posted by Eleutherios at 8:27 AM on November 7

Sounds like some real pros have turned out to give suggestion for your first experience. Listen to everyone. As a long time recreational smoker, I recommend getting a cheap bong at your local headshop. A bong let's you meter exactly how much you want to inhale, you can see it! Also, one of you can prime it for the other. Then all they need to do is suck in the smoke. Lighting and using a joint can be surprisingly challenging, it isn't like smoking cigarettes!

It takes about four minutes for you to start feeling the effects. If it's good weed, it'll continue to intensify over 20 minutes, lasting for about two hours. I wouldn't recommend hitting more than every 30 minutes. A couple tikes if you are using a joint, one good draw on a bong.

I recommend a good "stoner" film or a film that is more psychedelic. Google for great ideas. Having sex is also an experience you may not want to miss out on if you don't get high often.

Eat when you crave it. Have lots of different little things available to try. They will taste different than normal, so enjoy that experience. (I recommend having toast, butter, jam and cheese on hand. I started that tradition when I loved in Amsterdam and many of my friends love eating it stoned.)

Have fun. Fortunately, pot is a drug that gets better over time because
you learn about its nuances and how you react to it. So have a great time, it's awesome that you came here to ask first. Everyone should do that regardless of the drug they are taking! Have fun guys!
posted by bprater at 9:09 AM on November 7

Some good advice here. I've smoked up several people for the first time and never failed to get them stoned. My method isn't that different from NetZapper's, but this is what I tell them: hold the joint/pipe (I actually prefer pipes generally, and if you can get a hold of one to dump the ganj in, it's easier for first timers--no worries about burning fingers) to your lips and inhale into your lungs as if you're getting ready to scream. It will hurt; you'll want to stop, or to breathe through your nose. Don't. Try to hold it in as long as you can before you exhale. It's okay if you cough, too, so don't be afraid of that.

I'd recommend having both milk and something cinnamony--red hots?--at hand. I was lucky enough to have access to both of these the first time I got stoned, and the red hots make it feel like you're actually breathing fire. And the milk will be the coldest, most awesome milk you've ever drank.
posted by PhoBWanKenobi at 9:28 AM on November 7

Oh, and my preferred entertainment is Muppets. Muppets are amazing while stoned.
posted by PhoBWanKenobi at 9:30 AM on November 7

This helpful instructional video goes over some of the basics.
posted by burnmp3s at 9:31 AM on November 7

Good music, however you interpret that, though mellower is better. Wayyyy back in the day, we used to get stoned outdoors, which was excellent. I remember someone recommending pistachio nuts, because they take effort to eat. You could queue up some youtube videos of classic comedy.
posted by theora55 at 9:35 AM on November 7

So put it out half-way through and see how it lies for 10 minutes.

Yes, definitely. Remember, the magic rule is that you can always do more but you can never do less. Since there's a delay between smoking and peak effect its not always obvious to newbies how high they're potentially going to get.
posted by Adam_S at 10:07 AM on November 7

DO
NOT
EAT
IT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Worst advice I've seen in an AskMe thread maybe ever. Eating marijuana or hash won't kill you, and done carefully, can be a very cool high ... but it's very easy to consume way too much (even the weakest strains can make STRONG cookies, brownies etc if the recipe's right) and as suggested, lead to the kind of mental and physical anguish that gets one running for the emergency ward.

Hunter S. Thompson claims that his single worst drug related experience comes from eating hash. My experience backs that up.
posted by philip-random at 10:08 AM on November 7

This is rank bullshit

No, THIS is rank bullshit, as has been pointed out. Yeesh. This happens ALL THE TIME, and for many reasons, usually that the act of smoking 'properly' is not that easy to master the first time or two. Be ready for nothing to happen, and if it does, pleasant surprise!
posted by ORthey at 10:12 AM on November 7 [1 favorite has favorites]

I'd get a good movie (comedy), some fine munchies, and drinks. Be prepared to roll with whatever comes up: if he doesn't like the movie or it's too bright or dark in the room, adjust and roll. I do recommend Reefer Madness: The Movie Musical which is hysterical and features the lovely Kristen Bell.

Or you could crash on the beanbag and listen to Tubular Bells. It was one of my earliest drug experiences.
posted by chairface at 10:32 AM on November 7

Video of Pink Floyd's The Wall . Worked for me.
posted by Nick Verstayne at 10:35 AM on November 7

I actually completely disagree with the eating it experience. If I had smoked instead of eaten the first time, my opinion would have been forever colored by the inherent silliness of smoked vs. consumed. Ditto for my wife.

What matters is having someone else around who is _not_ high or drunk who can talk people out of panic attacks if they are that sort.
posted by rr at 11:16 AM on November 7

Okay, not that I've ever actually smoked marijuana (EVER!!!), but I have heard through my sources that the following selections can make for good stoned listening. (warning - this list has a bit of a 1970s skew as it comes from quickly picking through my vinyl):

Allman Bros (anything live with Brother Duane on board)
Aphrodite's Child - 666 album (warning: it's about the Apocalypse, so might lead to strange thoughts
Bauhaus - The Sky's Gone Out
Bongwater (name says it all)
Butthole Surfers (if they can crank it out on LSD + double proof Bourbon, you can handle it on good ole hemp)
Byrne, David + Eno, Brian - My Life In The Bush Of Ghosts
Can - pretty much everything up until Damo Suzuki floated away
Clash - Sandinista (whole damned thing)
Dr. John - Gris Gris Gumbo
Electric Light Orchestra - El Dorado
Eno, Brian - pretty much everything
Hawkwind - early stuff, up to and including Space Ritual (double live)
Hendrix, Jimi - obvious
Jah Wobble - pretty much everything, weird 80s experiments (if you can find them) in particular
Jethro Tull - Thick As A Brick + Passion Play (warning: the lyrics don't add up but it's fun trying)
King Crimson - all the 70s stuff
Kraftwerk - Radioactivity
Van Morrison - Astral Weeks, St Dominic's Preview, Veedon Fleece
Mothers of Invention - Absolutely Free
Neu - everything
Orchestral Manouevres in the Dark - Architecture + Morality
Penguin Cafe Orchestra - everything
Pink Floyd - everything up to and including Animals (but skip Dark Side of the Moon; you've heard it before)
Queen - Queen II
Rolling Stones - Her Satanic Majesty's Request
Roxy Music - First Album
Strawbs - Grave New World
Talking Heads - Remain in Light
Temptations - 1990
War - The World is a Ghetto
Who - Quadrophenia
Wire - 154
Wonder, Stevie - Songs in the key of Life
Yes - Yes Album, Close To the Edge, Relayer
Young, Neil - pretty much everything from Everybody Knows This is Nowhere through Dust Never Sleeps
Zappa, Frank - Hot Rats
Anything from Jamaica before Bob Marley died (dub in particular)
posted by philip-random at 11:21 AM on November 7

... and the Big Lebowski soundtrack.
posted by EatTheWeak at 11:29 AM on November 7 [1 favorite has favorites]

I actually completely disagree with the eating it experience.

I'm assuming this indicates that you're recommending eating it. As I suggested in my comment above, it's not that you can't have a cool high eating it. You can. The problem is that it's very easy to consume WAY TOO MUCH ...

1. because cooking hemp can seriously exaggerate its potency
2. because, as it can take as long as three hours to really feel the full effects, the tendency is to keep nibbling away on various cookies, brownies etc until it's too late.

The only time that I've ever encountered severe medical distress due to imbibing in so-called illicit drugs (opium, moonshine, marijuana, hashish, ecstasy, MDA, LSD, mushrooms, peyote, PCP, nitros oxide, amyl nitrate, meth, cocaine, probably a few others I'm not even aware of) was an occasion when I ate too much hashish (and I've come darned close with good old marijuana, too).
posted by philip-random at 11:30 AM on November 7

Correct, I meant the opposition to the eating it experience.

The "slow to take full effect" bit is why you need a non-high sitter. You should have this anyway, for ANY first time. You never know what will happen with someone.
posted by rr at 11:59 AM on November 7

Really, don't make a big deal out of it, don't try to stage manage anything. I can't imagine anything worse than feeling like there were all sorts of expectations around my smoking pot for the first time and getting all weirdly paranoid about it. I think the funnest thing to do would to be somewhere like the beach or otherwise outdoors with a nice picnic.
posted by oneirodynia at 12:25 PM on November 7

Weed is SO fucking strong these days, I highly recommend he take ONE hit then WAIT. Take it slow. A marijuanafreakout the first time doing it would SUCK.
posted by tristeza at 12:34 PM on November 7

Thank you all for the advice, particularly to smoke this very slowly.

I figure it's best to let my partner take the lead on what he wants to do while high, but I'll make sure to cue up some good music (Air's "Moon Safari" is what comes to mind for a start, and will have "Songs in the key of life" handy), because we like to dance (or at least, we like to hold on to each other and sway). I love furtive's idea of looking at the sky through trees, so I'll try to get that in there (this will be my high, too!). My fella loves pastrami sandwiches so I'll get the makings for that today. Sex is a given, and afterwards, for the giggly phase, I'll have Lebowski and Napoleon Dynamite at the ready, if he wants.

This is going to be so much fun!
posted by goofyfoot at 2:24 PM on November 7

Stevie Wonder.
posted by dirtdirt at 2:30 PM on November 7 [1 favorite has favorites]

Get some legos.
posted by Gorgik at 4:50 PM on November 7

Put the dog outside. They can read your mind.
posted by Acacia at 7:01 PM on November 7 [1 favorite has favorites]