Uncertainy is a long time friend.
November 4, 2009 6:48 PM Subscribe
Conquering confidence issues at the age of 25.
posted by lwclec072 to Human Relations (15 answers total) 2 users marked this as a favorite
My boyfriend and I have been together for 3 years, I'm so lucky to have found him but I feel like I've found him at the wrong time of my life and feel like nothing but a nuisance. I really shouldn't feel this way, he has been absolutely amazingly patient and loving towards me despite my self esteem problems. Before him I've had nothing but bad experiences with men everything from my virginity being taken as a joke at the age of 22 to being the other woman many times. My current relationship is my first real boyfriend and first serious relationship. In the past, I'd met quite a few nice guys but would never open up and always became distant as I always had this fear of not being good enough. I realize all my bad experiences with men is most likely due to my lack of self respect. The problem for me today is that it's definitely not fixing itself, I have found this amazing man and I'm letting these issues I have inside ruin our relationship, I have constant fear that he'll leave me that I'm not good enough and that I have nothing to offer to him. I'm honest with him about my feelings, he tries to reassure me but it really doesn't help much because of trust issues. He's been so very patient with me but I'm slowly letting it pull us apart. I feel like I cannot really love him and make him happy until I'm happy with myself and that's the truth. I cannot give him the love and respect that I believe he deserves because of all these problems I allow my relationships with others to revolve around. He's willing to stick with me through it and says it's not a good excuse to let go of someone you love. All of these feelings just starting to come up again is just hard to handle, if you want you can read my past questions, only to possibly get a better understanding of things. The main issue here though is my lack of confidence/lack of respect for myself and others. If I'm not confident with myself at the age of 25, I'm terrified that I may never get there, I feel completely hopeless.
On a side note, I know this question is horribly written and disorganized, but this was a very hard question for me to formulate. I thought that the hive would be the place to come to ask for the most genuine and thoughtful opinions/advice. I'm hoping I do not get the same advice I've received elsewhere, that I need to grow up and get counseling. Also, yes, I do have an emotionally fragile soul, that's certainly a weakness of mine.
Thanks in advance for anything you have to offer to my trainwreck of a situation.