Hitting on people in bars makes me want to blow my brains out.
November 3, 2009 4:17 PM Subscribe
Let's say you remove geography from the equation in finding a potential partner. How would you go about it?
posted by milinar to human relations (21 answers total) 9 users marked this as a favorite
So I'm turning 28 in a few weeks. To a lot of people that seems relatively young, but I've lived an long, eventful, interesting life and had a lot of good, crazy times to look back on.
Long story short, I'm feeling ready to settle down a little, take some steps forward in my personal life.
My life is pretty great otherwise, and I'm really happy and grateful with where I am. My love life, however, sucks. And has for a long time. I've had a string of failed relationships, one after another, going back many years. At every step I imagine it will get easier, but it never does. Having money doesn't help, getting in shape, taking care of myself, trying to be happier, nothing helps. Dating still sucks, working at meeting people still sucks. For something so central, so intrinsic to a long, happy life, it's deeply frustrating to have so little success.
Obviously there's a lot of reasons for this, but the biggest one that I point to is geography. I live in Los Angeles. This is a well-documented issue and I won't rehash it now, but being a single dude here is less than ideal. Most everything else about the city I love, though, and I hate to leave just because of the crappy single life.
Fortunately, I'm in a somewhat unique position. The business I'm in allows me to a) take a lot of time off and b) work most anywhere in the world for short or long projects.
It makes me think - if dating here is so bad, why am I still looking here? I can go anywhere I want, for as long as I need to. I seems worthwhile to really put some time and effort into this aspect of life, doesn't it?
So what would you do in my place?
I'm a writer at heart (a better one than I've displayed here, I promise) so meeting someone on the net is probably the way to go, but I'm open to any suggestions, especially specific anecdotal suggestions.
Obviously I could just go somewhere and meet people, but I'm looking for more systematic kinds of solutions. I feel like the haphazard, serendipitous approach that romantic comedies tell us is the way people find someone hasn't really borne fruit, so maybe it's time to try something else.