Running out of beans, in my head.
November 2, 2009 1:07 PM Subscribe
Datingfilter: Did I just get blown off? Yes, there's more bean platiness to this.
posted by anonymous to human relations (44 answers total) 6 users marked this as a favorite
Several weeks ago I was enjoying a beer on a sunny Friday afternoon with my friend 'Dave' at a local brewery. We ran into his friend 'Jane' who then joined our table. Over the course of the conversation I realized that I was attracted to Jane but made no attempt to do anything about it (burnt out on dating, or lack thereof). We talked about music, upcoming concerts and such.
The following week, Dave and I carpooled to a free outdoor concert and Jane joined us (same concert we had talked about). We spent the whole day together, talked about many things, but I still did not consider making a move on her. Post concert (2-3 days later) she sends me an email saying that she enjoyed the day and that we (not all three of us) should do something like this again. I agreed, pitched the idea for a show at the end of the month. she seemed excited.
A week later I organize a meeting (work related), which Jane hears about (via an email list) and says she would come because it sounds exciting. Post meeting we go out for beers, and several hours later dinner, then back to her place where we makeout, talk, and just spend the whole night together. In the morning she files back east to see her family for a week.
For a moment I thought this just happened because we were somewhat drunk but there were other indications. She delayed her ride to the airport so she could spend more time with me. At least two times she said that she was bummed not to be able to spend the day with me.
Great, I'm excited. Can't wait to see her when she's back. We exchanged a couple of brief text messages after she got home but I didn't say/do much after that to not seem very eager.
3 days later I get a flirty text. So now I'm excited, (Hey she really does like me, and didn't chalk that night up to a drunken encounter. yay!). We exchange several messages over the week. I make her a mix (like we had talked about). She seems stoked. The night before she returns, she says something like Coming home tomorrow! Packing now, rather than last minute like last time ;)
I replied looking forward to seeing you. That's it.
From then on I get no reply from her. She flew home Tuesday and not a word from her. This is where I get all beanplatey in my head:
a) Did I freak her out by saying that?
b) Perhaps the message didn't go through, but it shows up as sent and I have no reason to believe otherwise.
So I figure I will give it a few days before acting on it. I saw her today, very unexpectedly. We literally ran into each other as she was walking out of the restroom. She said hey...um..I have to get back to my meeting (which is true, she did have a meeting then). What now?
Do I just leave this awkward like so for every future interaction?
My usual thoughts run like this:
Ah I guess she realized that she's not into me. Last thing I want to do is to freak her out more by getting pushy. I will just back off and let this go.
Another part of me says Hey stupid. That's what you always do. Why not call her and talk to her?
So what do I do? Respect her wish not to pursue this anymore (for whatever reasons)?