search engine for techie therapists?

November 2, 2009 10:22 AM

Is there a search engine for finding techie therapists?

A long time ago I had a few therapy sessions, but stopped after a while because I didn't click with the person. Maybe part of it was due to me being a nerd.

Are there resources out there to help people do searches on therapists who have experience with techies? I'd also like tips on questions to ask a therapist on a first visit to see if you both match.

posted by bleary to health & fitness (14 comments total)

What exactly was it about the fact that you're a nerd/techie made it so that you didn't click?
posted by scarykarrey at 10:33 AM on November 2, 2009

I'm asking this question for me and a friend. I'll focus on what I remember. If my friend has an answer, I'll post that as well.

One example to illustrate how we didn't connect -- when she found out I was a programmer and a nerdy person, she seemed to click into a mindset that I am inhibited emotionally. Then gave me advice on how to share my emotions with my friends to let the joy come out. I find joy in things, and don't have a problem expressing that to friends. Just, in my own way. Maybe she had stereotypes of techie people that prevented us from hitting it off? (and visa versa)

Also, I think she specialized more in family therapy than in what was going on with me at the time.
posted by bleary at 10:45 AM on November 2, 2009

I really, really don't think that your being someone who self-identified as a "nerd" or as a "techie" was the problem.

As for "how do I interview a therapist?" I think John Fishbein's questions are a good resource.
posted by Sidhedevil at 10:47 AM on November 2, 2009

I've noticed at least two kinds of therapists: the kind that focus on providing a sympathetic ear and warm acceptance and the kind that focus on the science of therapy. Perhaps you'd have more luck with the latter. Although maybe what you need is the former, what do I know?

The easiest way to tell is just to talk to a therapist for a session or two and see if you think you connect.

But, since you asked, here are some ideas:

1) Do a search for someone regarded as one of the best therapists in your area. If h/she does not have any appointments available, ask for a recommendation.
2) To be non-PC for a moment, you might have more luck with male therapists.
posted by callmejay at 10:49 AM on November 2, 2009

After reading your update, I think that that therapist just wasn't a good fit for you (and maybe not a particularly good therapist). It's not because you're "a techie," and it's not like there's some profession-wide blind spot about "techies" or "nerds".

The best way to find a good therapist is to ask people you know who have dealt with life situations and issues like the ones you're currently facing and want help with who they recommend. Failing that, the best way to find a good therapist is to meet with two or three, talk clearly about the life situations and issues you're currently facing and want help with, and go with the one whose responses seem the most insightful and helpful to you.

The latter is not easy in a managed-care environment, but it's worth the effort if you can possibly make it happen.
posted by Sidhedevil at 10:51 AM on November 2, 2009

To be non-PC for a moment, you might have more luck with male therapists.

I actually think that's incorrect as well as sexist advice.

Someone looking for a more "scientific" approach might well have more luck with MD and Ph.D. therapists, regardless of gender, than they would with LicSW, MSW, Licensed Mental Health Counselor, and other non-doctoral level therapists, regardless of gender.

A male LicSW is likely to be less "scientific" in his presentation than a female psychiatrist.
posted by Sidhedevil at 10:54 AM on November 2, 2009

it's not like there's some profession-wide blind spot about "techies" or "nerds".

I have to disagree on this one. In my experience, with Psychologists, Psychiatrists, and general Counselors, they all had a very clear, very stereotypical vision in their mind of what kinds of problems someone who put down "computer programmer" in the profession field should have.
posted by No1UKnow at 11:54 AM on November 2, 2009

In my experience, with Psychologists, Psychiatrists, and general Counselors, they all had a very clear, very stereotypical vision in their mind of what kinds of problems someone who put down "computer programmer" in the profession field should have.

Well, go figure.

Many of the therapists I know personally came to the field with previous work experience in the computer field themselves, but I live in Cambridge, Massachusetts and most of my friends live here or in Silicon Valley, so I imagine that's a factor.

If bleary doesn't live in an area that's known for high-tech industry, maybe adding "Do you have any preconceptions about people who work in {bleary's industry}?" to Fishbein's list of questions might be a good way to address that.
posted by Sidhedevil at 12:10 PM on November 2, 2009

Psychology Today has a great database for finding therapists in any area. Most of the therapist profiles address what their niche specialty may be--I recommend you surf that particular database and see if any one profile "speaks" to you.
posted by chaoscutie at 2:58 PM on November 2, 2009

Bleary appears to live in Chicago.

I feel like I should say something in this thread as a therapist with a graduate degree in Comp Sci, but I'm actually the only such that I know of and have no suggestions as to how one would locate one in Chicago.
posted by Obscure Reference at 6:20 PM on November 2, 2009

Wow, it's cool that you guys live in places with psychologists with comp sci backgrounds. I have two undergrad degrees, one in psychology, and one in comp sci. I focused on bio and cog psyc for my undergrad degree, and avoided clinical because I thought it was a bunch of hooey. It wasn't until after I had a manic episode and had to do some out-patient therapy that I came to really respect some of the therapists and doctors I met there. I don't live in the same area anymore, but I still go to the psychiatrist I met there for med check up every 6 months. (and this even though he's out of network.)

It seems a huge crap shot as to whether you can find good people. It's like trying to find a good author to read, or an artist.

Yep, I'm in Chicago, and my question was more for my friend's benefit than mine. I'm still a little averse to therapy, and would rather apply what I learned in the out-patient program I went through. It was some good stuff, a combo of cbt and other more touchy-feely things (art therapy, group, etc.). I feel like I'd get more from maintaining friendships (I tend to cocoon) and becoming more physically active.

Trying to get more physically active is my greatest challenge right now. I feel extremely awkward in gyms.

One thing I would like to get from a therapist, if I found one, is practical advice on how to handle being distracted. It's not as though I have ADD, but some of the descriptions of people with that do fit. So, I think there must be strategies those people have which would help me manage those behaviors.

My friend has more anxiety to work through than I do, btw. So, I guess said friend would want to include that in a list of questions to ask a prospective therapists (Do you have experience in working with patients with anxiety problems?).

With respect to gender, I'm not sure whether a male would work out better or not. I'm a female, so I probably would tend to be more comfortable with women.

For the record, I'm a programmer. I also fit the stereotype of an INTP person pretty well. and I'm a nerd in the sense of being a geek who sometimes has a lack of social skills (e.g. I might get fixated on something interesting then have to control how much I talk about it to other people).
posted by bleary at 7:31 AM on November 3, 2009

If bleary doesn't live in an area that's known for high-tech industry, maybe adding "Do you have any preconceptions about people who work in {bleary's industry}?" to Fishbein's list of questions might be a good way to address that.

I'm not sure that would work. Someone might not have enough insight to realize that. I'd need a way to get at that indirectly.
posted by bleary at 7:34 AM on November 3, 2009

[...] The best way to find a good therapist is to ask people you know who have dealt with life situations and issues like the ones you're currently facing and want help with who they recommend. [...]


I feel too awkward to have conversations like that with people I know who might fit the bill.
posted by bleary at 7:36 AM on November 3, 2009

Thanks for the answers, and if any of you have good links (the one with the list of questions, for example) please post. I can do a search, but have less background on judging the credibility of the results than most of you.

I don't tend to trust information on a site that seems like it is trying to advertise a practice or sell something.
posted by bleary at 7:41 AM on November 3, 2009