What is it about love that makes we want to spew poetry?

November 1, 2009 9:46 AM

What is is about love that makes me want to spew poetry?

I don't do poetry. Or at least I didn't. I've been in love for a while, but it was only recently I found out that the person I've been pining after all this time has the same feelings for me. This makes me so incredibly happy and now the only thing that seems to come out of my mouth or on paper is poetry and art.

Why do I want to write poetry now, especially if I suck at it?

I also want to bake cookies, knit scarves, compose music, dance and/or sing, all for this person. I suck at all these things. What gives?

posted by nikkorizz to human relations (15 comments total)

I do most of these things, but certainly want to do them more, for the boy I'm coming to care for. Personally, I think it's because I suck at words, but still want him to know how I feel.
posted by mollymayhem at 10:16 AM on November 1

A lifetime of cultural inculcation from fictionalized romance has firmly rooted these behaviors in your mind as those typical of people in your situation.
posted by phrontist at 10:18 AM on November 1 [5 favorites has favorites]

What gives?

A heady rush of Phenylethylamine, Dopamine and Norepinephrine to the brain box mostly.

Fortunately, if your muse is similarly afflicted, then however lousy your creative outpourings may be, their critical faculties will also be blissfully impaired.

Enjoy.
posted by theCroft at 10:23 AM on November 1 [4 favorites has favorites]

What theCroft laid out may be correlated with the feeling, but I'd imagine that would hold true across cultures, whereas these courtship rituals (as far as I know) don't.
posted by phrontist at 10:28 AM on November 1

Hormones is right. Give it a bit of time and you will find other things to occupy your mind: place for honeymoon, cost of ring, in-laws, children, college for the kids etc.
posted by Postroad at 10:56 AM on November 1

You have a powerful feeling. Those things press for release.
posted by Ironmouth at 11:00 AM on November 1 [1 favorite has favorites]

Life can be short. Clipped in an instant. It may, at decidedly inconvenient times, brutally show you exactly how little it cares about you. And it may, eventually, bring you to your knees.

But right now, at this moment, you are experiencing "beauty." And this, exactly this, is what we trade our brief time on the planet for. Roll in it. Take it into you. Bake. Knit. Compose. Do it without hesitation or self-consciousness. Because in doing so, you become part of the beauty. You become beautiful. To those around you, to the lucky object of your affection, and to those of us that don't even know you. You become a reminder that life can be full of...life.

Do yourself a favor. Write with abandon. You are in the midst of a brief audience with the muse. Leave a record for yourself, because right now, you may very well be at your most, and best, you. Do not second guess. Do not hold back.

This is what living is for.
posted by nickjadlowe at 11:00 AM on November 1 [21 favorites has favorites]

Because poetry is one of the many ways we take our largely intangible emotions and make them tangible, as are pretty much all of the creative outlets you described. Let your love flow from your fingertips.
posted by JimmyJames at 11:06 AM on November 1

Why do I want to write poetry now, especially if I suck at it?

Because you haven't had inspiration before -- which is also the reason you've "sucked" at it?
Because it's impossible to be good at something before you get the urge to do it?

Go write some bad poetry! Dance, sing and knit ugly scarves. Now that you're in love, you have a chance to be dumb and happy. Don't waste this rare, rare opportunity.

Your snarky little over-analyzing mefite self will still be here when you come back. Promise.
posted by PlusDistance at 11:11 AM on November 1

Dopamine, a molecule of motivation.
posted by aquafortis at 11:18 AM on November 1

You have things you want to express that go beyond what your usual forms of expression are able to fully relay.
posted by wackybrit at 11:43 AM on November 1 [1 favorite has favorites]

This is kind of a sidenote, but get off the dopamine bandwagon people. Excess dopamine doesn't make you feel good, it makes you feel edgy. Dopamine is released in anticipation of things, not when you actually get them. The article aquafortis linked too actually explains this.

People who say things like "This neurotransmitter is associated with this emotion and that neurotransmitter is associated with that emotion" are talking out of their asses. The brain is much more complex and more importantly not that well understood.

Anyway, getting away from a 'chemical basis' thing phrontist is probably somewhat right. When you think a lot about being in love, you are going to think about all the things that love is associated with, including writing cheesy poetry. In some other cultures you might have a strong desire to do something else.

I think writing poetry is a pretty universally romantic thing though. Along with singing songs.

This is just a thought, but I wonder how much things like music and language evolved as a way for people to sexually appeal to each other. Think about how dancing is often a precursor to sex. There might be something deep inside of us that links the two things. And poetry is kind of like music. It's all about rhythm.
posted by delmoi at 12:26 PM on November 1 [5 favorites has favorites]

i don't know WHY this happens, but so what? if you want to do it, do it.

(you don't have to show/tell anyone after you do it, if you don't want to.)

also even if the cookies are burnt they're still cookies and you can dip them in milk. so go ahead and bake them. then go out dancing and take photos of each other and have them printed and frame them.
posted by AlisonM at 1:17 PM on November 1

Why? Because you are human.

You're also riding the best high life has to offer. Congratulations, and enjoy it!
posted by ixohoxi at 5:35 PM on November 1

erotographomania
posted by LC at 9:20 AM on November 4